Healing Narcissism - The Unknown Self

By Sarah Chambers D.C.H.P.

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The name "narcissism" originates from the Greek mythology story of Narcissus (Narkissos) the son of Cephissus and the nymph Liriope. He was a beautiful young man who rejected many lovers including the desperate advances of the nymph Echo.

One day when Narcissus was out walking Echo secretly followed him. She longed to speak to him but was unable to speak first. Narcissus heard her footsteps and called out "Who's there?", only then could Echo answered him by repeating his words, "Who's there?" Eventually Echo showed herself and ran to embrace the lovely youth. He pulled away from the nymph rejecting her and told her to leave him alone. Without realizing Narcissus broke Echo's heart.

The love sick nymph asked the goddess Artemis to punish Narcissus and she agreed. Whilst out walking one day Narcissus came upon a clear pond, as he knelt to drink Artemis made him fall in love with his own reflection. Narcissus pined away looking at his own reflection until he finally died. What grew in that place was the beautiful flower that bears his name, the narcissus.

There is an great deal information about the negative side of narcissism but very little about the positive traits of narcissism. Freud believed that we are all born with narcissistic traits and that they are an essential part of us. Healthy narcissism assists us in many ways, without some narcissistic traits we can not balance our own needs in relation to the people around us. Negative narcissistic behaviour can also be a learnt behaviour passed down from generation to generation.

Understanding Yourself

Do you or your partner respond with emotional anger, do you believe that your partner looks for problems that you feel don't exist, are your values and beliefs good for you and your family?

Do you have addictions?

• Sports?
• Drugs?
• Alcohol?
• Gambling?
• Smoking?
• Workaholic?

Do you keep hurting members of your family in order to maintain your own feelings of being in charge, then perhaps the time has come to re-evaluate your self and your life? By maintaining your attitudes and behaviours you may well be creating the very thing you lease desire.

Childhood Conditioning

Childhood Negative Programming can create two fears later in life, a fear of loving and a fear of being loved. When you were a child you survived by learning the rules you were programmed from a young age to play a role, and you learnt to play it so well. But the real you is not your role, not your programming. It is good to be aware of childhood programming but not to get trapped in it. You can free yourself of all the old outdated self limiting behaviours and actions when your mind is free from self limiting negative conditioning.

Negative Emotions

Anger is born from hurt, sadness, and frustration, which then which gives birth to resentment. At a very early age parental neurosis and conditioning together, with significant negative emotional events may have cause these feeling, which you did not understand, and because you didn't understand them, there was very little you could do about them, so you internalize them, because as a child you were unable to deal with them through lack of understanding.

Suppressed Unresolved Emotional Issues

Unconsciously you pushed them down into a black bag and pull the strings tightly closed, and these negative emotions never saw the light of day until you were older. Later in life the suppressed negative emotions start to manifest, to surface as bad feelings and having no real understanding of how to deal with them you channeled them through your behaviour, projecting them outward onto others or objects blaming everything outside of yourself for how you feel and the things that are wrong in your life. Never taking responsibility for your actions or words. Living in a world of negative cause and negative effect.

Negative emotions that were established and suppressed all those years ago, the outdated behaviours that are used to control, manipulate and psychologically play with the very people you need but reject are acted out everyday as a release for unconscious constrained, immature negative feelings. The feeling of having control over others gains a false sense of security, of comfort, or so it seems.

Time to heal?

If have come to a place in your life where your attitude and behaviours are harming your family, the people your really need, simply to maintain your own feelings of being in control then is it time to think again, you could be heading for the very situation you least desire and everything you think you control will be lost.

Ask yourself this question, if my outdated negative feelings and narcissistic behaviours have a purpose and the purpose is to teach me something, what is it that I need to understand in order for the problems I have to disappear?

Precision Therapy is real healing tool, which will help you and your family understand how, where, and why you developed the feelings and attitudes. Let go of the negative side of narcissism and step into the positive. Start to create the life you actually want by letting go of your old patterns and starting the process of finding the real you!

'Change only happens by realizing something needs changing'....