Exactly how do you go about apologizing to your boyfriend once you realize it's necessary? Apologies imply fault, and for many people, the two hardest things to do are to admit they were wrong and say they're sorry. These steps are designed to help your boyfriend overcome whatever issues he's dealing with now, so that he can accept your apology and the two of you can move on:
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 1
Your timing can be critical. Trying to offer an apology while he's upset, for example, or while he's deeply involved in some other issue, may cause more problems. Either wait until he's able to pay attention to you calmly, or arrange such a situation - invite him to dinner, for example, or a nice walk. If you want your boyfriend to accept your apology to accept it and forgive you, you must pay careful attention to the timing.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 2
Your apology must be sincere, and must really express the remorse you feel for what happened. Two things to keep in mind - be absolutely sincere and look him directly in the eye. Your eyes really are the gateway to your soul, and if you are not absolutely sincere in your apology, he'll be able to tell.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 3
When you apologize, keep it short and sweet, and don't try to analyze and explain every little detail. Tell your boyfriend "I'm sorry" and give a brief explanation of what it is you're sorry for. If you want to persuade your boyfriend of your sincerity, don't make your apology long and involved.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 4
A nice gift at this point will also help. You know what he likes, so make it something you know he'll really appreciate. Your gift should show some thought and be oriented to him - give him something he'll really appreciate, not something you think he needs or something you want to try to get him interested in. Think about a home-made apology card, for example, or prepare his favorite meal. Alternately, take him to an event he wants to go to, or to his favorite restaurant.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 5
A negative reaction to an apology is a fairly common response. Many apologies elicit a negative response. There may still be anger in your boyfriend's heart, even if he tells you he's accepted your apology. Thus, you need to be prepared for any reaction at all and not just expect him to be positive. Just because his response is negative when you apologize doesn't mean he'll stay that way. Give it time - chances are he'll calm down, especially if your behavior reinforces your sincerity.
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 6
Actions have consequences. You must accept the consequences of the mistake you made. You can't avoid taking responsibility for your mistakes just by apologizing for them. Perhaps you damaged something of his and now it has to be repaired or replaced. Go right ahead, pay for whatever has to be paid for, and be grateful, because it's only money. Even if it causes somewhat of a financial hardship, it'll show him your level of sincerity.Keep in mind that just because you apologized to your boyfriend, it doesn’t mean he will forgive you, just be prepared for whatever may happen (even if you already made amends).
An apology, of course, doesn't automatically generate forgiveness. Even if you've taken some action to demonstrate the depth of your feeling, your boyfriend may still not forgive you, so you need to be prepared for anything.
Few things are as difficult as apologizing to a boyfriend. A good apology must come from inside you and reflect your heart. Your apology must include an admission of fault or guilt, and that's never comfortable. There's nothing to be gained by re-opening old wounds - once you've made your apology, consider the episode closed and move on! Your relationship can be strengthened by the way you overcome these challenges.
Sarah Scott enjoys helping women deal with the conflicts and challenges they experience in relating with men and helping them form successful relationships.