This week I’ve been working on a new product for my website. I found myself very busy doing a lot of activities; but discovered that I was not being effective. Instead of working on the product development, I allowed myself to be distracted and working on other minor tasks. Overtime I have learned that when I’m not moving forward but am very busy; I need to ask myself why am I holding myself back? The answer nearly always comes back that I’m allowing Fear to creep into my life.
For me, journaling is a good way to get to root cause of a situation. So, pulling out pen and paper I began writing and discovered that I was allowing Fear of Failure and Fear of Success to creep in. Fear of Failure was being driven by ego; my ego never wants to look bad. My Ego was afraid my product wouldn't sell well and it has nothing to do with financial reasons; it has everything to do with what others would think of me if it didn’t sell well.
Fear of Success for me is linked to the possibility of my life changing. If my product is successful it could open up other opportunities for me or lead to creation of new products. Change, I found can be a difficult to adjust to even if it is for positive outcomes.
I shared my Fears with a friend soon afterwards and started feeling the power being taken out of the Fear. The act of writing is powerful because it allows me to name it. Sharing allows me to acknowledge it and what I often find that the person I’m sharing with will have a similar experience we can discuss and what they did to move themselves out of that spot. For me this process is a motivator for me to let my fear go and move forward in action.
My checklist when I find myself stagnating on a goal:
1. Journal – Spend 10-15 minutes writing down what it is I wish to accomplish with my goal. Write down what are the next 2-3 tasks that need to get accomplished. Write down what is currently preventing me for doing those tasks. Ask myself what am I fearing? Ask myself what will be the result of your accomplishment?
2. If I can't identify any fears that are holding me back, I need to put aside my writings and review the next day. The fear will almost always jump out at me.
3. Sharing my fears with a trusted friend who can provide constructive feedback
4. Refocus on my goal and move forward.
Using my own life as living proof that extraordinary choices lead to an amazing life, I help others women do the same. As a divorced mother, I empower other divorcees to move out of their comfort zone and begin creating an extraordinary life for themselves and their children. For additional information about me, please join me at www.steppingintojoy.com