This may seem self-explanatory, but as we all know not everything is as easy as it looks. Courting a woman is a process; there is no doubt about it. Time and effort and required to successfully gain the admiration and/or love of any young lady. The common problem that men run into, while making an attempt at this, is assuming that âwhat is good for the goose must be good for the gander.â In truth, men and women think and perceive things very differently. It's important, as a guy, to put yourself in her shoes.
First, even if you enjoy sports, remember that she may not. So, don't use a sporting event as your first date. Instead, save that for a later occasion when the two of you have become closer.
She may be a great 'sport' (pun intended) about going to a sporting event on your first date, but will she honestly enjoy it? Would a nice dinner at an intimate restaurant be more appealing to her? Most likely.
So, I would suggest starting out with something neutral, like a dinner. Use this time to get to know her and discover her interests. The most important thing a guy can do on a first date is listen. Information stored from this date can be used on future dates as a symbol that you care and you pay attention.
Guys also tend to underestimate this, but flowers do wonders for women. It's not just because women love flowers - which they do - but it's also because the flowers represent interest and sincerity in a potential suitor. Women want to be romanced, so don't underestimate the 'power' of giving flowers. However, this can be overkill, so donât over use it. A friend of mine was seeing this guy who would bring her one flower every time they went on a date. Now sure that is special and cute, but eventually it just became too much. Plus, as a guy if you set the precedence you have to follow up else risk looking like youâre slacking off on future dates.
Another tip is to not be too pushy sexually or even expect a kiss on the lips after the first date. Men who hurry place unnecessary pressure on the relationship and on the woman. A pushy guy, trying to get more than the women is ready to give, is a big turn off. Confidence is one thing, but forcefulness is another. You need to cultivate a natural sense of when to do the right thing. Have a few dates that are a bit flirty, but also friendly. Show respect and I can assure you that she will be more than ready to give you that first kiss when the time is right.
Some guys out there, and girls too for that matter, arenât necessarily looking for that long term relationship however. This is perfectly fine, but keep in mind that itâs hard to move from a short term, looking for physical love stage, to a real meaningful relationship stage. Once the idea has been implanted in a womanâs brain that a guy is only down for one night of fun â that is usually where sheâll keep him in her directory of men. While the two of them may enjoy a night of fun, chances are that will be the end of it.
Physical love is easy, at least the mechanics are anyway, but that only goes so far. You need to hook a woman on a mental level, in order to completely seal the deal. Make jokes, be light yet serious, be a gentleman, and show her you care. This means, being generous, courteous, self-assured but not arrogant, sincere, honest and playful. Be careful because playful doesn't mean sexual, vulgar, or pushy. It means being clever, being able to listen to the girl and not constantly talk about yourself, and showing that you care.
So be yourself, but make sure youâre on your best behavior. Be nice yet aggressive, showing that you are serious and interested. Donât be forceful, but donât withhold your true intentions. Good luck guys, happy dating!
Stella is all things single. She's seen it all, and is ready to share her experiences with everyone. Her areas of expertise are: dating/relationships, self-help/spiritual growth, business, and wellness. Her main focus, of course, is on singles! Everything that concerns singles is her arena.
She's traveled the world and has been in the âsinglesâ scene for quite a long time. As a result, she is able to compare differences in dating and relationship patterns across continents, people's views and habits. She has studied spirituality and has worked through many self-help books and courses. Her professional background includes finance, journalism and writing, marketing and entrepreneurship. She is acutely aware of the challenges that singles face in their day-to-day lives and is here to help and inspire.