One positive discipline influence often overlooked by parents has to do with the quality of the child’s surroundings and routine.
To behave well, children need a number of essential ingredients. Among these are:
1.An orderly, stable home environment
1.An orderly daily routine
Both of these are necessary for the child to develop and demonstrate orderly behavior, orderly thinking, and balanced emotions.
A significant contributing factor to a child’s unruly behavior is exposing the child to a chaotic household.
Some adults might argue that they were exposed to a lot of chaos growing up, but they still turned out “okay”.
But this just reveals a lack of self-awareness. There most certainly are going to be personality “scars” as a result of too much chaos in early life.
When parents engage in much angry strife, the quality of child behavior declines as a result.
If a child spends time around a parent who habitually rushes about, operating in a frenzied manner, reacting with aggressive intensity at the drop of a hat, the child will demonstrate chaotic, hyper behavior, wild emotionalism, and a lack of ability to concentrate and think clearly and rationally.
Parents sometimes attend parenting classes expecting to learn a trick for ending their child’s behavior problems overnight, when muchphysical and/or emotional chaos has been part of that child’s life for years. Virtually no positive child discipline strategy will work until order has been established in child’s routine and surroundings.
If your child is displaying a behavior problem, the following factors can function as blockages to any positive discipline approach that you attempt:
Much instability or upheaval in the child’s daily routine or surroundings
Much disorganization, mess, or dilapidation in the child’s environment
The child’s exposure to much intense parental fighting
The child’s exposure to someone who rushes about in a frantic way, who frequently speaks or reacts with aggressive intensity, who exhibits violent fits of rage
The child’s exposure to other children behaving wildly
Of course these factors do not mean that the child has no responsibility for the child behavior that he engages in. It just means that the influences he has been exposed to have “set him up” for problems that he may or may not be able to overcome.
By working on improving those areas listed above you can produce behavioral improvement, at least to some degree.
Part of a holistic approach to positive discipline includes making improvements to the influence that impact the child’s self-discipline.
Parents can be too quick to jump to the false conclusion that “there is no good reason for this child to be acting out”.
The fact is that there are ALWAYS reasons behind the way a child behaves.
The presumption that there is no reason belies the parent’s lack of understanding of the actual causes behind child behavior problems.
If you have been experiencing frustration with your child, examine his or her surroundings and daily routine. Providing a child with order and harmony in his or her surroundings and daily routine is crucial for any system of positive discipline to work.
* Author, Seminar Leader, Motivational Speaker, Consultant (www.wisie.com) (www.boblancer.com)
* Host of the WSB Radio Show Bob Lancer's Answers, focusing on the challenges of parenting, marriage and personal / professional development.
* Motivational Speaker for Large and midsized companies, associations, government agencies, schools, hospitals, youth groups and other organizations
* Child Behavior Expert of WXIA TV News (Atlanta's NBC TV affiliate)
* Host of Atlanta's Radio Disney show Ask Bob (helping kids deal with their issues)
* Featured Parenting Expert in local and national media
As a public speaker, seminar leader and consultant for over 25 years, Bob Lancer has been inspiring audiences around the nation and overseas, and setting them on a more direct and fulfilling path to total life-success, with his empowering insights and strategies.