The following case-study about how to deal with an emotional abuser demonstrates what can be achieved by practicing the simple self-help practice higher-consciousness healing as described in Tara’s book The Five-Minute Miracle.
Heidi (42 years) is a highly educated woman who came to see me because she felt very unhappy in the relationship with her husband who had an uncontrollable temper. He emotionally abused her by calling her horrible names and in the past he had been violent with their two children. The atmosphere in her family was very tense and over the past few months Heidi had simply kept quiet to avoid any form of conflict with her husband. She was now considering divorce but she was extremely frightened by this prospect and severely depressed.
In our first session I taught Heidi how to dissolve her anxiety with the help of the anti-anxiety breathing and a healing-symbol. When she came back she said that this ‘meditation’ had helped her a lot and that she didn’t feel the amount of anxiety and despair that she had felt before. She actually had had moments when she felt ‘alright’. However, Heidi was still undecided and frightened about the prospect of a divorce.
I asked Heidi to sit on different chairs and imagine that it was five years from now and that she was divorced on the first chair and still married on the second. Not surprisingly, Heidi discovered that she would be much happier if she left her destructive marriage. At the end of the session I helped her to receive a healing-symbol to overcome the suffering from confusion and fear about the divorce. I asked her to see herself in a firm bubble filled with loving light. I also asked her to see her husband in a similar bubble filled with loving light but not surprisingly Heidi was reluctant to do that because she felt so much anger towards her partner. I told Heidi that love is the big healer of the universe and anger would tie us to an abuser instead of setting us free.
When Heidi came back after two weeks she reported that these methods were so effective that she felt more calm and peaceful than she had felt in years. All symptoms of her depression and anxiety had disappeared and she slept better than she had in decades. Another benefit was that a stiffness and chronic pain in her knee had dramatically improved. For years she had felt ‘cold and shaky’ inside and now she felt warm – which she thought was ‘just wonderful’. Her fear about the divorce had decreased too – ‘it’s not the end of the world’, she said. In parallel to Heidi’s own improvement, her husband had become much more helpful and agreeable, in contrast to his usual behaviour. She was very surprised about this and I explained to her that this was the usual effect of using higher-consciousness healing with another person. Heidi and her husband both now made active steps to separate.
From that point onwards Heidi felt that she could cope on her own. When I spoke to her two months later on the phone she said that she was ‘steady as a rock’ despite the fact that her son had become seriously ill.
Everyone can achieve similar results in dealing with an emotional abuser by following the simple self-help exercises outlined in Tara Springett’s book The Five-Minute Miracle.
Tara Springett holds an M.A. in Education and is a fully qualified psychotherapist. She has post-graduate qualifications in gestalt therapy, body awareness therapy and transpersonal therapy. She has worked as a drugs counselor, counselor for adolescents and general psychotherapist since 1988.
Tara has been a dedicated Buddhist practitioner since 1986. In 1997 she received encouragement from her Buddhist teacher to teach others. Tara has since taught on-going meditation groups and combines Buddhist wisdom and her experience in counseling when assisting her clients with their personal growth, self development & improvement.
For more on how to deal with an emotional abuser go to www.taraspringett.com