How to Develop Listening Skills

By Liz Peterson

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What does it mean to listen effectively? It means that you are in the moment and open to the message that is coming your way. When you are listening effectively you are receiving, interpreting, and responding appropriately to the message that is being given. The type of response required, or desired, depends on the situation. The more effectively you listen, the more likely it is you will be able to respond appropriately.
Here are some tips for becoming an effective listener:
Tune in to the other person. The most effective listeners make the person they are listening to the most important person in the world. They give their full attention to what is being said. In the workplace this may mean turning away from your computer and other electronics. Go somewhere where you won’t be interrupted if need be. If you are on a conference call, be on the conference call, don’t multi-task. At home turn off the television, put down your book or other distractions and focus fully on the person in front of you.
Let go of the outcome. Resist the urge to solve the problem, defend yourself, or focus on what you are going to say. When you are focusing on your response you can’t be fully aware of what is going on with the other person. Keeping the focus on them and really listening to what they are saying will help you determine the best response. Oftentimes the only response required is a simple acknowledgement of what was being said.
Display a persona of openness. Be aware of how your body language can be perceived by others and model an appearance of openness. Crossing your arms, looking at your watch, fidgeting, and staring off are all nonverbal indications of non-interest. So even though you may be making verbal indications that you are listening, if you exhibit these nonverbal signs the person speaking will not feel listened to.
Know your listening style. Appreciative (listening in a relaxed manner for entertainment or inspiration); Empathetic (supportive and learns from the experiences of others); Comprehensive (makes sense of information); Discerning (able to determine important details); Evaluative (listens in order to make a decision).
Which do you most closely identify with? If you’re not sure and you’d like to understand your listening style better, take the Personal Listening Profile® at http://www.disconlineassessment.com/beyond-disc.html. The Personal Listening Profile® helps people understand when their most natural listening approach may not be appropriate, and how to adopt another approach for more successful communication. Some people are naturally good listeners and for others it takes a lot of practice. The good news is that listening is a skill that can be learned and developed over time with discipline and practice.