How to earn someone's trust
Many of us do not trust people right away. Even when the first impression imposes their trustworthiness; we choose to take our time and slowly open up for them to the limit we can handle.
While we are put in the same situation, we might ask, "Did I do something wrong?" The answer is simply no. The fact that you might be genuine and trustworthy doesn't mean that you will not have to earn it. Earning trust is essential, and at times the earned trust is a stronger bound than the given trust.
So, instead of asking yourself, "Why doesn't she trust me?" or "What did I do to earn this mistrust?" go ahead and plan your way to gain their trust. Your future-father in law does not trust you because he is scared you are not honest. Your friend is scared you might be using them.
There's a one rule that will always mess things up, or fix them when you're wrong and that rule is honesty. If you make a mistake, admit it. Don't try to hide it or to justify it. As long as you admit your mistakes, you will remain in the little circle of respect, even when their trust is a little shaky. While you might have to fix your mistake, you will be climbing up the ladder of respect and trust.
While honesty remains the top rule of everything, little actions always count. When you express the reason behind what you are doing, that gives them a boost of trust. When you hide from something, the people who already do not trust you will count it against you; they will wait and anticipate proving that they were right when they did not trust you in the first place.
When it comes to people whose trust you're directly seeking, the ones you care for and appreciate, listening is one of the greatest tools to their heart. They refuse to give you trust when they know you have earned it, because there's something personal that they have kept hidden which prevents them from trusting you. Open up to them and listen. Listening gets you closer.
Never ever tell others what your friend is telling you. You are never allowed to give out others' secrets. Once you are given a secret, you are either trusted on it, or it's a test to earn a great amount of trust. Some might prefer acting with plans to fix problems for others, but unless said others give out the permission to act secretly and fix their problems, you are not allowed to use your own solutions for their problems. Little advising could help you earn the trust more than huge actions, although actions might be necessary.
It becomes harder to reach out to someone whom you are not in direct contact with at all times. When it's someone whose trust you must have, yet it's more difficult because they are not in your circle of close friends.
Out of those comes a person whose trust depends on your actions rather than your personality. Your boss will always want to see you doing what he wants, but when surprised with an idea that will establish the business more, they will give you credit. Your father in law will find it extremely hard to trust you if he's doubtful but when your actions prove your trustworthiness to him; you'll earn double the trust.
Yes, it takes time when the contact is not direct and when you are doing it for reasons other than earning the person's trust and it's a more difficult process but most likely the reason you do it for is earned.
Now let's break it down in simple steps.
2- Reason and explanation
3- Speaking your mind
4- Keeping secrets for others
While those steps might not be arranged with numbers, they are always there to help you. You might want to use a different strategy on what you used in the past, and your strategy can be set right here.
Always try to be yourself, who you are will earn you trust, along with your personality, a set of qualities might be necessary. When it's all said and done, the trust you earned might not always be there, and not everybody is capable of trusting others so stay alert.
Trust is earned and not given in vain.