For most people, divorce is made up of a bunch of unfamiliar events, requirements, emotions, and behaviors. It's usually a very confusing period of time. Because divorce is so confusing, unfamiliar and legal, it's in your best interest to have exactly the right experts to help you out.
Hopefully, the first expert you found to guide you was an attorney or mediator. The legalities of divorce can have repercussions for years and you deserve to have your interests attended to by an expert.
Another expert you might choose to have assisted you is a Certified Divorce Financial Planner (CDFA). Experts with this designation can help you understand how to equitably divide the assets and liabilities from the marriage over the long-term.
People often also turn to a physician or psychiatrist to help them combat with the worst of the emotional turmoil medication.
Another expert many people going through divorce choose to work with is a therapist or counselor to help them understand how they got to the point of divorce.
There's a new divorce expert that more and more people are choosing to use to help them work through their divorce transition as quickly and thoroughly as possible so they can feel happy and confident again. This new divorce expert is a divorce coach.
A divorce coach's goal is to help you get from where you are in the midst of your divorce to where you want to be, which usually involves you being happy and confident again. What makes one person happy and confident will be a bit different for another. An experienced divorce coach will have a program that teaches tips, tools, and techniques that you can use to move yourself out of the pits of divorce. They will also provide you will candid feedback and challenge you to keep moving forward so you climb out of the pit and move on toward feeling happy and confident again. A divorce coach will use their experience, expertise, and resources to help you get on with your life more quickly than you could on your own.
They can be a key component of your expert team and when you take the time to choose the best one for you, it's not unusual for your coach to help you to quickly move your life from the depths of divorce to the excitement of being completely you again and both setting and achieving big goals for your life.
So, I'll bet you're wondering, "How do I choose the best divorce coach for me?" Let me share with you a four-step process to help you do just that.
Step 1: Create a short-list of divorce coaches. Start by asking your friends, family, and even your attorney or mediator for recommendations. You can also search the internet and social media for referrals. I suggest you find 3 to 5 coaches to create your short-list.
Step2: Do some research. There are several things you'll want to gather information on for each of the coaches on your short-list. By doing this research you should be able to winnow your list down a bit more.
You'll want to check out the coach's credentials - training and membership in professional coaching associations. There are a few places where coaching isn't regulated. What this means is that anyone can choose to be a coach regardless of whether or not they've had appropriate training.
Visit the coach's website and look for personal details about the coach. See how many of these questions you can find the answers to:
Has the coach been divorced? This is critical because divorce isn't something you really get unless you've been through it yourself. Watching other people go through it just is nowhere near the same as experiencing it firsthand.
How long has the coach been divorced? It's not unusual for someone to enter a helping profession when they are in the process of healing themselves. You're going to want to be fairly certain that the coach is through their healing so they will be able to focus on yours.
How long after their divorce did the coach decide to become a divorce coach? You can get a rough feel for whether or not the coach has finished their own divorce recovery by finding out how long after their divorce they decided to become a divorce coach.
What portion of the coach's clients are working through a divorce and moving on with their lives? If the coach's work isn't primarily divorce related, then they won't be as focused on what you'll be going through as you'd like them to be or as you deserve.
Now look at the coach's website and uncover details about the services and products they offer. Some of the things you'll want to look for are:
Individual coaching - Most coaches offer individual coaching either in person or by phone. They also will usually offer packages of a number of sessions for a reduced price when compared to sessions only on an as needed basis.
Group coaching - Fewer coaches offer this option. When they do, it's usually in person, but there are a few who offer group coaching by phone and on-line. Also be sure to check how long the group remains together.
Self-study - This is more difficult to find, but there are a few divorce coaches who offer books, assessments and programs for the person who wants to do the work on their own.
Retreats - These are usually offered for a week or less at a resort or spa.
Freebies - Most coaches offer freebies to provide people tips for navigating divorce and to allow people to have a better understanding of who the coach is and what it might be like working with them. Look for special reports, newsletters, resource lists and blogs.
Costs and payment options - Divorce can be an especially expense conscious period. The cost of the services and accepted forms of payment are also important pieces of information for you to know.
Step 3: Interview the remaining coaches. Many coaches offer a complimentary interview or consultation. Take advantage of this! Ask them the answers to the questions you still have. Get a taste of what it would be like to work with them. Be sure and make notes for yourself during each of the interviews so you'll feel confident in your decision.
Step 4: Select and hire the coach you're most comfortable with. Once you hire your coach you can expect to start quickly getting through the remaining hurdles to you being happy and confident again.
Your Functional Divorce Assignment:
Have you found your divorce coach yet? I know it might seem funny for me, a divorce coach, to be asking you this, but I really want you to get the support you need. You may really enjoy reading my newsletters and blog posts, but aren't sure you'd like working with me. That's fine. I want you to find the best divorce coach for you! Take the time to follow through on the process above and I know you'll find just the right one for you.
In 30 minutes or less, you can QUICKLY and EASILY pinpoint EXACTLY what you need to do to COMPLETELY get over your divorce... GUARANTEED! http://www.functionaldivorce.com/fdasproduct.html
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Karen Finn, Ph.D. is the creator of The Functional Divorce Coaching Program. She works with people in all phases of divorce who struggle with moving on and who want to find the direction they need to take their lives so they can be confident and happy again. Visit http://www.functionaldivorce.com to learn more about Karen's work and to register to receive her newsletter. Karen Finn, Ph.D. owns the copyright to this article and reserves all rights to it.