I was out with one of my mates Sam. Just a usual night of fun and banter with the ladies of Copenhagen. After the night was over Sam commented on something he noticed about my interactions with women.

He said: "yeah, you seemed to be holding sets really well, like no wandering eyes from the girl, no venue scanning they seemed pretty into it. Yeah it seemed very natural, that’s why you’re a great wing!".

I chuckled. I haven’t even noticed this. It’s funny how when other people see how your *game* is from an outsiders perspective they can pick up these small things, while I myself hardly notices it. When I think about it, it’s funny how much natural and relaxed I’ve become with conversations with women. This arguable has made my interactions much more solid and I’ve become extremely good at connecting with them. It’s almost like I can’t see why they won’t think I’m cool and open up to me, they would be weird to think otherwise. This is a shift I had not too long ago, I actually wrote a post about this, you can find it here.

Not to sound like a cocky prick ” I’m so cool and shit”, but it’s a mindset you must have, a mindset that’s derived from Alex’s “you are enough”.

So I started thinking. What was I doing so well that resulted in me almost only getting good responses from girls. I haven’t had a really bad rejection in almost a year now. I would say 99% of girls I approach I get a good response from and a rare 1% I find girls who are just not talkative. However this doesn’t mean I fuck every girl. It just means I’ve connected well with the girl and she’s enjoying the conversation.

Actually I want to think the reason for this is my awesome screening skills. I feel like I can pick up girls that would fit me well.

Anyways back to point, I want to break it down for you guys. Just be aware that some of the ideas might get lost in translation. It’s difficult to breakdown something that I’m just doing subconsciously and making sure that you guys can actually understand it and apply it. The sad thing is that I in the future will occasionally realize extra bits and parts that form the bigger picture — being my game. Maybe even parts that are crucial for getting a better understanding of what I do in this article. I will of course post articles of these epiphanies but it’s up to you to connect the missing dots, and you will be able to, if you go out consistently.

So here goes:

Approach with no hidden agenda - Really this is what I do. In my mind it usually goes ” she’s cute, let’s meet her” I’m not thinking I want to fuck her or I want to pull her. My mind stops at cute or interesting. I expect nothing from her and she feels this. It kind of feels like removing a huge burden off your shoulders. You are just here to talk and find out about her. You have no hidden creepy agenda here, well not in the early stages of the conversation at least ;-)

Relax and flow with it — Don’t be over hyped energy man, jumping up and down and exploding with every sentence that comes out of your mouth. It just shows you’re compensating for something. Just relax and flow with the energy of the interaction. You are enough, trust what you have to say and flow with what she gives back. It’s really not that difficult. Try taking it a notch down in terms of energy. Borderline lazy haha.

Talk about normal shit — I talk about normal stuff. Stuff that is taboo in our community. I really ask the interview questions but the difference between me and the chode is that the interview questions are coming from ME. I’m the coolest motherfucker around and the girl will feel that. To give you a better example: picture little skinny insecure nerd asking interview question compared to Denzel Washington. They are asking the same questions. Can you see the difference? That’s the x-factor ladies and gentlemen.

Physical rapport — Get physical. However you don’t need to grab girls and lift them up all the time. Sure that’s fun. But you don’t really need to. Just be sure to physically touch her frequently in the interactions. It can be light touching. Hugs. Claw. Handshake. Touch her neck etc. Just be sure to build a physical rapport with her and you’re good to go.

Lean back — Allow her to talk. My conversations goes 50/50 quite early. I would say the girl has invested as much as I have in the interaction within 5–8 minutes. Just allow her to talk. Be comfortable with any awkward silences, if you don’t view it as uncomfortable then it wont be.

Agree to disagree — Agree with things she says that you don’t necessarily agree with. Why? Because you avoid friction. Now take this with a pinch of salt. If a girl wants you to beat a guy up then don’t agree by doing it. Use your common sense. It’s okay to disagree with opinions. But does it always benefit you if you tell people about it? No. So if a girl tells you about something she puts a lot of value in, like a religion. You’ll most likely fuck it up if you begin disagreeing with her and talking shit about her religion. Instead just say ” aahh.. cool..maybe”. Agree to disagree but leave it at. Why even waste time on arguing about it. Just don’t give a shit and move on with the interaction. It’s better to find something you both agree on and build on that.

Don’t be THAT guy — Don’t be the make-out guy or the obnoxious guy or the insecure guy or the douche-bag guy. Sure you’ll find some women that is into it. But the majority will dislike it. I’m not saying the go hard or go home route doesn’t work, on the contrary I’ve seen it work. But it just not my style and by running that sort of game, you might end up pissing some girls up that are friends with your girl. Thus eliminating potential girls who would otherwise be down with you.

Socialize and work the venue — The last thing. Don’t stick around forever. Make sure to work the venue and give her the “I’ll talk to you later” sentence. Night is too early to settle with one girl. Plus you’ll gain social proof if she sees you talking to other people. Come back later to the girls you’ve talked to. Screen them and figure out who’s down for coming home tonight.

Author's Bio: 

This article originally appeared on the Loveawake.com dating site and edited with permission from the author.