How to Overcome Your Fear of Messing Up the Date

Dates are supposed to be fun and exciting activities that allow you to get to know another person. The purpose of a date is to find out if the girl who is sitting next to you has the potential to be your girlfriend. In some cases one date is enough to find out if she is the woman of your dreams of if you should better go separate ways.

However, even though dates are supposed to provide you with unforgettable experiences and important insights, a lot of men don’t regard them as solely positive. In fact, a lot of guys have deep rooted fears and insecurities when it comes to going on dates.

They are afraid to choose the wrong outfit. They don’t know what to say and how to behave. They are so eager to make a good impression, that it is impossible for them to enjoy their time with a wonderful woman.

In case you are one of those guys, this article is the solution to your problems. In the following lines I am going to show you exactly how you can overcome your fear of messing up dates.

Accept that the Perfect Date Doesn’t Exist

The first thing you have to get out of your mind is that the date has to be perfect. Yes, the perfect date exists, but only in Hollywood movies. The perfect venue, your perfect smile and the perfect conversation are nothing but an illusion that you have been conditioned to believe. Real dates are not like in the movies that you watch.

Real dates are unpredictable. Real dates come with nervousness, awkward lulls in the conversation and stupid things that you only think of when it is already too late and you have already said them. Real dates are anything but perfect, but they have the potential to be unforgettable when you accept this truth.

If you don’t accept the truth that you will probably never experience the perfect date, you will continue to put yourself under such a high pressure that makes it impossible for you to do what you are supposed to do. The only thing you are supposed to do is to get to know her without worrying every three seconds if you just said the right thing.

Prepare Yourself as Good as Possible

Yes, the perfect date only exists in Hollywood movies and romance novels, but that doesn’t mean that it is okay to not be prepared at all. Don’t assume that just because it probably won’t be perfect, it also won’t be great, amazing and unforgettable.

When I think back to the first date with my current girlfriend I can honestly say that it was an exciting and invigorating day that allowed me to meet one of the most wonderful women on earth. I am pretty sure that it wouldn’t have been such a great day if I would have been unprepared.

I made sure that I looked good, smelled nice and that I didn’t look like a hippie on drugs. I did everything I could to turn my apartment from a messy pile of clothes into a nice-looking apartment with an inviting atmosphere. Thanks to my preparation, she felt comfortable with me and in my apartment. Without this preparation I probably would have scared her away as soon as she would have seen my used underwear.

Realize that She is More Nervous than You

I know that you are nervous. I know that you are afraid to say something stupid. I know that you want to make a good impression. However, I also know that she has the same fears, insecurities and worries as you have. In fact, she is probably even more nervous than you.

One important fact that most guys who are terrified to mess up a date forget, is that the woman they are on a date with is also just a normal human being. She might be prettier than you, but that doesn’t change anything about the fact that she is just a normal human being with regular fears and insecurities.

Just think about how long you spend in front of the mirror before you go on a date. You probably take a shower, get dressed and put on some cologne. After about ten minutes you are done. Do you have any idea how long the average woman spends in the bathroom before she goes out on a date?

Sometimes they lock themselves in the bathroom for hours. She takes a shower, she shaves her legs, she does her nails, she dries her hair and she puts on makeup. She invests a lot of time to make you believe that she is the confident and good-looking woman you’ve always dreamed of.

What most men forget is that women have the same insecurities and fears as you. They just try to hide them underneath the makeup. The next time you are on a date with a girl, who is so beautiful that your hands start to shake, you have to remember that she is just a normal human being.

Enjoy the Moment and Be Willing to Learn

Last but not least, it is important to enjoy the moment, no matter what the outcome might be. Have fun, get to know her and don’t even think about whether or not she will be your future wife or the next girl who puts you in the friend zone. Don’t waste your energy with things that you have no control over.

Maybe she likes you, maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she has the same personality and the same values as you, maybe she is the complete opposite of you. No matter what happens during the one or two hours you are on a date with her, enjoy the process and be willing to learn.

Yes, dates are supposed to be fun, but they also offer you countless opportunities to learn more about women, about dating customs and about yourself. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to grow as a person, just because you are too focused on saying the right things. Enjoy the moment, be willing to learn and find out if she is the right girl for you.