Over the last decade of working in the field of Psychotherapy and Coaching, I've met many clients who had a rather negative experience or no results at all as they worked with some of my colleagues from various locations and branches of Psychology.

As a solution to this popular problem, I created a practical guide for all those who are committed to improve their life situations in all possible ways and who are looking for an effective Psychotherapist, Life Coach, NLP, EFT, or any Energy Healing Professional who will indeed be able to help prospective clients make requested shifts and transformations that last.

Ok, ready? Here it goes.

An effective Psychotherapist/Coach/Counsellor, if they are true experts...

1. They are effortlessly authentic at all times. There is no "public performance" "self-glorification" or elements of it (e.g. playing "cool", excessively positive, super-qualified, knowing-it-all, etc.).

2. They speak, act, and come from their Center, Soul and Inner Truth, not from their label, status, formal protocol, or who they want to be in the eyes of their clients (if they care about the latter, the experts need a therapy).

3. Their main goal is to achieve positive and lasting results with you, rather than public recognition. The latter must be a natural side effect of their talents, competency and unique expertise, and never the main goal of their therapy and overal activity. I am pointing out the right order of priorities here. Such experts however can be well recognised and highly successful.

4. They must see you in your wholeness and health from moment one onwards, no matter what conditions you are currently in. And it should be reflected in their behaviour.
If they can see you in your wholeness and health, they'll bring you there. Usually, it is the clients who see themselves in their problem, sickness, and disability, which is acceptable for a while. If the Therapist/Coach can only perceive the client as being profoundly broken, fragile, and sick, then both need a therapy.

5. Their awareness of your creative powers, talents, potential, and what you are capable of becoming must exceed your doubt and inability to see those yet. If you see these qualities in you better than them, go find another expert.

7. There will be no authority, but a sense and atmosphere of dynamic equality whenever they work with you. If they dominate you in any way, shape or form (which is easily detectable), go find another expert, because this is NOT appropriate, NOT correct, and will NOT allow the true healing and correction to take place. Period.

8. A responsible therapist will keep in focus the objectives of your session and therapy at all times, and won't be using your time sharing their experiences, unless it has a direct relevance to the nature of the issue explored and the mentioned by them specific aspects of their experience would simply clarify things for you.
If they use your time extensively talking about themselves and their experiences AND it is irrelevant to what you asked about or what is supposed/scheduled to be healed as the session unfolds, you should consider finding another expert, especially if that progresses in degree and irrelevance.

9. Their awareness both personal and professional will evolve and expand over the time. If you notice that in 4-6 months the scope of their awareness and capabilities hasn't expanded, go find another expert. The reason for this is simple. They can't and won't be effective if they don't grow and evolve on multiple levels - continuously. They will normally do it deliberately, consistently, with joy and spontaneous commitment. If their presence in this professional field is not a joke, but is their own authentic choice and a natural extension of who they are, their commitment to grow and evolve will be powered by inspiration, not obligation. This is the type of the Therapist/Coach/Counsellor you want to work with.

10. They are very honest with you no matter what. And they will never look down at you or diminish you either. (If the opposite of those behaviours takes place, go find another expert for a very practical reason: their therapy won't be effective. Exaggeration of any kind would be a form of dishonesty).

11. If you force yourself to attend their sessions, then whatever they do doesn't work for you. Or you are not ready for the shift they are helping you to make. If the latter is the case, inform them about it and make a break until you are ready and committed to go beyond your current state of reality. If the former is the case... Yes, you guessed it, go find another expert. There are many modalities and approaches available, find the ones that resonate with you.

It is ok to feel a short lived resistance to attend their sessions when you are in a process of eliminating a big block or blocks (the key words here are: short lived). This implies that before and after those moments of resistance you were getting expected or close to expected results and actually enjoyed working with that expert.

12. After each of your session with them you should leave with liberating insights or/and noticeable shifts and transformation to a more powerful and aware state of being and functioning. If none of the two happen by the end of any of your sessions, do find another expert.

13. A healthy, positive vibration of certainty, self-sufficiency, integrity and stable inner balance must be naturally present in them at all times. And easily felt by you whenever you are in their presence. Spending time with them (even online) must naturally activate the same or similar healthy states in you.

14. You must NOT feel bad for a prolonged period of time during the session. If during the session you feel bad for longer than eight minutes in a row without a relief, and that happens all the time, you are with the wrong expert.

If the approach or modalities your therapist/coach uses make you feel bad and hopeless for a prolonged period of time, during, between, or after sessions, chances are the approach they use is an ineffective one, and if it works at all, it'll bring little result.

It's ok to experience negative emotional states for a few minutes during the session as long as these states are processed and addressed as they appear.

15. You must feel better after your session, not worse, if you feel worse, go find another expert, and there is nothing to discuss.

16. Your Psychotherapist/Coach must not strive to make you dependent on them in ANY way, shape or form.

In conclusion I'd like to mention one specific type of clients who will never find a good Psychotherapist even though such Psychotherapists exist and can be found. Those are the clients who are unconsciously (i.e. they don't know they do it) embark on a crazy journey to prove it to themselves and others, that their problems are so immense and complex, nobody can cure them. My personal observation of those individuals revealed that the main (and fully unconscious) reasons they do it are - to feel important and to secretly attract high quality attention of significant others (usually the closest ones). Through these massive or incredibly complex problems these individuals feel important (as other ways to feel important are not available for them and that's a choice), so they make sure the problems won't be solved or healed. Ever. It sounds insane, but that's what these clients do with consistent determination and unbreakable commitment, - disallow the healing and thus complete elimination of such problems. The sick model at play these individuals embody (one way or another) is one of a saint-martyr. It basically states in its unrecognised insanity that "the more one suffers, the more honorable one becomes in the eyes of others". The truth is, the more one suffers, the weaker and sicker one becomes, and if one doesn't wake up to this obvious truth, one ultimately expires before the eyes of others.

I hope this article was helpful and the information presented in it will save you time, energy, and monetary resources that can be unfairly wasted on those who simply don't have what it takes to facilitate the requested healing and transformation you deserve.

Author's Bio: 

Andriana received her formal training in the field of Psychology and holds two University Degrees in Psychotherapy and Counseling, which includes practical training in various modalities and psychotherapeutic approaches used in modern Psychotherapy.

Her main life and professional activity has always been focused on Consciousness, Human Potential, Personal Development, Evolution, and how one's mind, and different levels of Consciousness manifest corresponding nature of reality.

Andriana has been studying Psychology and Psychotherapy from the age of 11 (as it was a natural extension of everything she already knew innately). She now does it professionally - for more than 10 years while working with groups and individuals all over the world.