Contact with an ex boyfriend is a tricky and complicated affair, but it doesn't have to mean disaster. Once you have the right strategies in place, you will find that contact with your ex boyfriend is not as intimidating as you first thought. Further actions you can use to get your ex boyfriend interested in getting back together with you at the last paragraph of this write-up.
In such a tenuous situation one false move could be your last. You're well aware of all the pitfalls currently facing you, but your ex-boyfriend is all you want and you're prepared to take action. The path you choose to follow and when you put it into play is going to play a huge part in determining your chances. That's why this guide can give you the advantage necessary to make sure you come out on top.
Take Your Time
A breakup is the result of a broken relationship and it's often a girl's first instinct to try and immediately fix what went wrong in order to rush the reconnecting process. The desire to rush often leads to making mistakes and those mistakes can be costly in the long run. There is no need to rush right now. Giving your ex-boyfriend time and distance is the best gift you can give - to him and to yourself. If you push him now, he's going to make a break for it and you may never get another chance. Right now, he isn't interested in reconciliation and no amount of badgering is going to change his mind. Things will only start to look up if he comes to his own conclusions that he misses having you in his life and to miss you, you need to pull off a major vanishing act.
Your secure tower crumbled when your relationship ended, and now is the time to focus on rebuilding. You don't need your ex in order to start the process - it's something that needs to be accomplished on your own. Doing it will rebuild your self-confidence and your independence and it will help you to alleviate the pain that the breakup caused. While you're undergoing some major self-evaluation, your ex is going to notice that you're not where he expected you to be - chasing him. That's going to start the process in his mind and get him thinking about you positively again.
A Break is Beneficial
It is going to do you a lot of good in the grand scheme of things to walk away from the breakup as neatly and cleanly as possible. It may seem like too much to bear to think of weeks without hearing from your ex-boyfriend. He's the person you turned to when you needed a laugh or simply wanted a shoulder to cry on. Now it feels like he's on a different planet. He needs just as much time away from all the emotional aspects associated with a breakup as you do.
Like it or not, a break is exactly what you need. Don't try to soften the blow by making small talk or pretending to be friends. If he's put friendship out as an option, he may be trying to soften your emotional blow already. It's possible that friendship is his way of keeping you around as a backup in case he doesn't find someone else. Any friendship needs to be turned down flat. It's simply not what you're interested in and you can let him know that you care for him too much to try and fake a platonic relationship. Although it may not be what he expects to hear, he will come to respect your honesty.
When you take a break, you need to take a complete break. The only rule you need to be worried about is the one that you're calling the shots on. If you're enforcing a strict no-contact policy, you can't have any kind of contact with your ex whatsoever. Nothing from emails to intentionally running into him is acceptable right now. If you do this right, he may decide to call you instead. Take it as a sign that you're on the right track but don't let it eliminate all the work that you've put into this process.
Keep your head held high and know that you're doing whatever possible to keep your strength, dignity and self-respect. As his curiosity starts to increase he's going to be willing to do a lot more to get answers than he was following the breakup. That means making contact with him is going to be met with acceptance - not resistance. He'll be more willing to talk and communicate than he has in a long time and it's all because you exhibited strength when the situation called for it - and it's never called for it more than right now.
The Case for Creating Curiosity
Male curiosity is a curious thing to most women - it's simply not something they spend a lot of time thinking about. The male mind is a lot different than the female mind and it works differently in certain situations. When your ex dumped you, he expected to be able to get answers as to your whereabouts whenever the urge struck. You slammed the door in his face. Instead of being left with seemingly endless possibilities, he now feels trapped by a decision he chose to make.
As the possibility of losing you out of his life in one swoop starts to sink in, the desperation associated with it will start to take hold. Once it does, you've got a foothold that's going to make reconciliation more and more appealing. Congratulations, girl - you're close to the finish line and you have run a brilliant and amazing race thus far.
Making Contact Again
Running a good race isn't the end of the story. Hopefully the story ends in a happily ever after and you get back together with your prince charming. You can make it happen by keeping your focus and not allowing your eminent victory to cloud your judgment and allow you to make a big mistake.
Before you reach out and make contact, decide the method best to suit your purpose. Emails and texts are notoriously impersonal and there's no way to tell if they've been received or what his reaction was to seeing your name again. Phoning him without a set plan in place can be disastrous and awkward and can send your progress into reverse.
Before you make that call, have a concrete reason. He is going to be full of questions that he wants answers to, but he's not going to be able to just come out and ask him. You want him to suggest a meeting and one of the best ways to encourage that is to tell him that you have some things of his that were left behind. He can offer to pick them up and take them off your hands. That's your key to unlocking his psyche and that's going to put you well on your way to success.
Your Next Steps
Contacting your ex boyfriend is only one part of the puzzle, now that you have mastered that, it would be a good idea to step it up a gear and really make him want you back. You can do this in a few ways. These get him back techniques will leave him wanting more from you and make him see you as a potential girlfriend again. You should also be avoiding common breakup mistakes at this time to ensure that he doesn't see you negatively.
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