How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone: Rebuilding Trust In Marriage - Regaining Trust In Marriage (How To Heal A Marriage After Lies)
It is a well known truth that successful marriages are rooted in mutual trust and they can withstand any stormy circumstances. Such a strong foundation of a marriage can never be shaken any force in the world. Dependability tops the list of qualities that most people look for in a marriage partner.
Mutual trust is nurtured by constant and conscious effort from both partners in a happy marriage. Trust is not built in a single day. It takes a long period of time to take deep roots and become unshakable. On the contrary a single stupid word or action can ruin trust in no time.
How to build such a strong pillar of trust?
The first and topmost way is to keep your words. Make it a priority to keep all your promises. Never make a promise that you cannot keep. Live your words at all cost to become dependable at all times. It reinforces not only trust in your partner's heart but also promotes a happy and lasting marriage. It says how far you can go for the sake of making your spouse happy. So remember, a broken promise is an easy trust and marriage killer. Take the initiative to live your words.
If you are unable to keep your promise or have a change of mind, admit it honestly. Explain why and how that change is necessary. If you failed to keep your promise because of forgetfulness, you can always apologize and make a firm decision not to forget such important things again. You can consciously try to follow some methods of reminders or even request your spouse to remind you of important promises occasionally.
You can also rebuild trust if you have problems already. Respecting each other's space, forgiveness, open communication are some of the ways in which you can develop a strong and unbreakable trust.
Marriages thrive on mutual trust. Foster trust and keep it strong and permanent.
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Are you pleasing your spouse to keep your marriage together? Have you been worn out by trying to change your spouse so instead have resorted to changing yourself for the sake of your marriage and family? Well, if you have I commend you for making the choice to keep your marriage together but I wonder if it was the right thing for you to do.
You see, a marriage is at its best when pleasing your spouse is something that both spouses believe in. Unfortunately not all spouses understand that it shouldn't be a goal to have it their way all the time. In fact, they have a distorted view of marriage and relationships and find happiness in taking and giving back as little as possible.
So is there anything wrong with pleasing your spouse? Absolutely not! However, I would ask that you do a little soul-searching and figure out if you happy pleasing him or her? If you have no resentment or ill feelings towards your spouse because of the imbalance in your relationship then more power to you.
However, if pleasing your spouse leaves you feeling unfulfilled in your marriage then doing so may not be the best thing for you to do. You see, at some point you might have so much built up anger and resentment that when it's all unleashed your marriage could be in serious trouble.
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?
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If your spouse is not pleasing you I would ask you the following. Does your spouse know what you need or want? Is your spouse taking advantage of your kindness or is he or she just ignorant about knowing how to meet your needs?
If you can narrow down why your spouse is so willing to let you to pour out everything you have to make the marriage work, but yet seems to have little to give back, it will help you turn things around.
What to do next?
• Make subtle changes in how you go about pleasing your spouse and begin to let him or her appreciate all the things you do.
• Begin to communicate your needs and make sure your spouse is aware how important a role him or her meeting your needs plays in keeping your marriage happy and strong. Focus on needs and not wants early in the transformation process.
• Practice behaviors that will inspire your spouse to want to begin pleasing you more.
Again pleasing your spouse is a good thing and I'm not suggesting that you wake up tomorrow and stop doing the things you are doing. However, you deserve to be happy too so I hope you can start changing things so both of you are pleased.
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The last generation to really take marriage seriously are in their eighties now. I've known some of these couples and they take their roles seriously, and actively work to keep conflict to a minimum. These are the two key areas where modern relationships are seriously lacking.
Roles and expectations are seriously important. In bygone eras, men were providers as well as being legitimate and spiritual heads of households. Women were wives, mothers and keepers of the home; more than that, they were the emotional backbone of the family. If Dad was the provider, Mom was the one who helped everyone get through the day. They had different, but complementary roles. All of this changed over the years to the point where neither men nor women know exactly what their roles in marriage really are. Men know they have to be providers, but often find themselves doing more parenting than their wives. Men no longer feel as though they are leaders in any meaningful way, and often find themselves at the mercy of a dictatorial woman who makes all the decisions. It seems very often that "Modern Woman" has no intention of sharing power. She is under the illusion that men have always been oppressors and it is time for payback.
What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time
Communication and conflict avoidance are also key to a successful marriage. No marriage will last if one partner or the other insists on winning every battle. Again, the cultural revolution in America has brought us women who will use constant fighting or the "silent treatment" to win daily battles when a friendly compromise would please both parties. No longer are women submissive or feminine when a disagreement comes up. They feel compelled to fight out every issue or risk feeling like a doormat to an oppressive male.
Constant fighting isn't interesting to men. They don't want high drama; few men really do, but that is what our popular culture insists women should deliver. As long as communication, cooperation and proper roles are respected, marriage can survive. However, in this social and political climate, it seems less likely than ever for most marriages. This is why men are pulling away from marriage, or avoiding it altogether. Women's magazines consistently deal with this issues with editorials or fluff pieces about how men "will not grow up" or "have a Peter Pan" complex. Never are the opinions of men presented. It's not all about sex or control, domination or traditional oppressive roles. It's about living happily together, and taking the best aspects of traditional roles with better communication and conflict resolution.
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Every marriage is just like any relationship. They have their ups and downs, agreements and disagreements and good days and bad days. When you put two people from different backgrounds with different ideas, feelings and expectations together, you simply can't expect everything to be wonderful all of the time! While some marriages have very serious problems that can only be solved by intense focus and even therapy, most marriages simply become 'stale' or uninteresting.
It is important to reflect on exactly what is causing any conflict or uneasiness in a marriage before acting on it. In a great many marriages, the excitement and 'take my breath away' feelings are fading or they are even gone. It doesn't mean that the love is gone. Love sometimes needs a little stimulation in order to revisit and maintain the feelings we all crave and yearn for. That stimulation is called 'romance.'
Many people mistake a marriage that seems to be ordinary or unexceptional as lacking love. It simply isn't the case! Most marriages do not lack love, but they do lack romance! Love is easy and peaceful, while romance is what makes a relationship hot and arousing.
Every single person on earth in any type of relationship desires passion and romance in his or her life. Unfortunately, there are a few things about romance most people don't understand. The most common problem in creating romance in a relationship is that people simply don't know how to do it! Other times, people are fixed in cultural classifications and their partners are unable to appreciate them for their own special and unique qualities. Ultimately, some people have simply given up on their search for romance.
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In a time where everything is convenient and available almost at the touch of a button, the effort of romance seems as if it takes a good deal of effort. It is very possible to take some old-fashioned romantic ideas and make them work in a modern world while maintaining the genuine intention behind each thought and act. Romance today can be filled with unique ideas, creativity and passion. Romance is simply the way you express your love for another person. It is vital to keeping love fresh, exciting and alive. Without romance, love can become tiresome and even worse.
The expression of love through romance keeps it alive, fun and worthwhile. Romance is only true, though, when carried out with no ulterior motives. The only reason romance should be initiated is in an attempt to show love and appreciation. Romance with true intentions is when you want to show your mate that you are thinking about them and they matter enough to make the effort to bring your love to life through action.
Romance is more like an artistic creation as opposed to an exact science. Those who tend to feel competitive in almost everything they do will need to check that attitude at the door when initiating romance. Love and romance should not be considered a contest that should be outdone time and again. It should be considered a cooperative activity. While love and romance take two in order to work, you can be extremely romantic while still keeping your individuality. Love and romance make perfect partners and can make you and your partner 'perfect' companions as well!
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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Looking for love and romance can be challenging. Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com
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