How To Save Marriage When Love Is Gone: How To Save A Marriage When You're Not In Love Anymore
Do you find yourself struggling to find a reason for staying together and often think "what happened to us"? Perhaps the only thing that is keeping you from leaving is the kids or financial security but even these reasons don't seem to be enough these days.
Well you and I know that this is not the marriage you want or dreamed of. I know that times change and so do people but things are supposed to get easier and better as time goes by.
If you have been unhappy with your husband and no longer think you love him it doesn't mean the end of your marriage. You might be getting close to the end but there is still time to turn things around if you want to. The question you have to answer is "do you really want to save your marriage"?
Can you relate to any of these marriage/husband issues?
- My husband never initiates any meaningful conversations with me. We only talk about what's in the news or a reality TV show but rarely about us.
- We only get intimate when and if I initiate the intimacy. I feel like I'm pressuring him into spending intimate time with me.
- He hardly notices any changes I make to my appearance, clothes, make-up, hair, accessories, etc. Other people notice and comment on my changes and my husband never does.
- I can't remember the last time we had a fun night out and enjoyed each others company.
I could go on but why continue to list problems when what you are looking for is a reason to stay married. There have been many women in your shoes and some have taken the perceived easy path and divorced.
I say perceived easy path because divorce is not always easy. In fact, it can be very complicated, and destroy families for generations. I'm not trying to scare you but if do find that divorce is your only option, please proceed with caution.
On a personal note my parents divorced and it was so nasty that my mom ended up giving my dad 3 bullets on his way out of the door and our lives. Don't feel sorry for him, he lived and since my mom pleaded self-defense she only received probation. Now, back to your situation.
If you want to improve your marital situation, I think you can, unless your husband is an insensitive, selfish moron. In that case, you should still try to inspire him to meet you halfway. At the very least, you will have no regrets because you gave it your all.
What should you do while waiting for your marriage transformation?
- Shake him up a bit. Your husband has probably become accustomed to your ways and probably assumes that he can read you like the back of his hand. If you want to begin to see some changes in your marriage, give him something different to read. Use your creativity to begin to give him a taste of how great your marriage can be again.
- Show him unconditional love. This is difficult when your husband probably has not shown any interest in being an equal partner and in-fact has been so selfish at times. If in the past you have confronted and challenged him on any and everything now might be the time to shift gears and back off just a bit. You can improve your marriage by loving him unconditionally.
- Keep working on your marriage and don't give up, despite how you feel. Love is a decision and so is staying married. Don't allow divorce to be a topic of discussion. Your only conversations should be about restoring your marriage.
You can keep your marriage together and restore the love, trust and respect you once had for your husband. It will take patience on your part but trust me you will be in-love again if that's what you work towards.
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This is the question that keeps popping up in the minds of thousands of married men and women. The truth is that it is possible to save your marriage however difficult it may seem to you.
Are you trying everything possible in your hands to save your marriage at any cost? You are not alone.
With passing years and the responsibilities of managing a household and bringing up children most couples find it difficult to spend time for themselves or to nurture their intimacy and romance.
But things like financial problems, drug or alcohol addiction, infidelity and aloofness can be more threatening your marriage than issues like boredom or neglect. But if it has already happened and there is no effort on your spouse to repair the damage, you may feel that it may finally damage your marriage irreparably.
If you have tried to make your spouse see reason by sincerely trying to follow the advice from friends, relatives and on the brink of giving up, stop and think. Professional marriage counselors can help though their success rate is not so encouraging. But some spouses flatly refuse to go for counseling and if that is your situation, do not lose heart, there is still hope.
What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time
The fact is, all marriage problems can be resolved regardless of how complicated it is. The truth is now you have help at hand - expert counseling and advice with proven techniques to save any failing marriage is within your reach.
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Marriages are complex relationships with many varied dynamics and when life catches up, you may not always be able to spend as much time as you want with your spouse. Unfortunately, this is one of the leading causes of broken marriages and if you can just learn to find more time for your relationship, you can easily avoid separation or even divorce. Here are some ideas for finding the time to spend with your spouse.
1. Lunch time.
Make a lunch date every so often. Getting caught up in work is easy to do but you need to take a break from it for your partner. You don't have to do it everyday, maybe once a week will suffice. Lunch dates are romantic and you can spend that time alone together.
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2. Hire a baby sitter.
If you have kids, finding time is especially difficult because all of your free time is given to them to focus on making sure they are taken care of and growing up well. But it is important not to forget to take care of yourself and your partner. Hire a baby sitter and go out at night. Go to a movie or have dinner.
3. Meet up after work.
Meet up after work and go home together. You can spend your commute to home together and get to talk about anything you want. Spending time alone in the car isn't as bad as it sounds because you will be with your partner and you're both going to the same place anyway.
4. Go to the gym together.
If one of you have time for fitness, you can both do it together. It doesn't have to be the gym, maybe you go for a run or a walk or maybe you just work out at home. Either way, do it together and you will find that just doing things around each other is a great way to strengthen bonds.
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Still reeling from finding out that your partner has had an affair, which let's face it is pretty horrifying in itself, only to be informed by the love rat that they are in love with the other person too. Your world has just come crashing down around you and has very quickly begun to spiral out of control.
A physically intimate affair is bad enough but what happens if it also comes with emotions? Or worse still, what if they have just gone and fallen in love with someone else?
Affairs based on sex are generally due to only a couple of reasons. The first is that the cheating spouse does not feel sexually fulfilled at home either due to the frequency of love-making (because let's be honest, the longer you are with someone the less frequent sex becomes). The second is that even if sex happens on a regular basis, most couples get in to a routine and sex can become a little boring, stale even so the adulterer or adulteress looks elsewhere for variety. As hurtful as these situations might be, they are to some degree understandable and recoverable.
What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.
If your spouse has fallen in love with someone else then that is a whole other ball game. It comes about from a crack in the foundations in your relationship that was probably always there but always papered over and ignored. It starts with a relationship that has probably run its natural course and both you and your partner should probably part ways and move on to pastures new but instead, due to our inherent fear of being alone, do the opposite and get married. You are on a downhill slope from here and unless one or both of you is brave enough to confront the situation, hurt and betrayal are going to be par for the course as Mr or Mrs Right are going to show up eventually and then whether physically, emotionally or both, someone is going to get hurt.
So what is the Ultimate Betrayal? Is it physically cheating? Emotionally cheating? Or being in a relationship which has been jammed to fit like a puzzle piece that doesn't belong but you're too lazy to find where it goes?
My belief is that the last one is the Ultimate Betrayal as not only are you betraying your spouse, or them you, but you're betraying yourself in settling for something less than true happiness.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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Looking for love and romance can be challenging. Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com
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