How to Save the Marriage Struggling With Pornography: Helping a Spouse Overcome Addiction to Pornography

To figure out how to save the marriage struggling with pornography is not much different than rescuing a marriage battling against problems such as; substance abuse, infidelity, physical abuse, neglect, selfishness, lack of communication or intimacy. Either of these can get progressively worse as time goes by and destroy a marriage.

However, pornography is viewed by some as a problem in a category by itself. Although both men and women have issues with pornography the perception is that it's a problem mostly for men.

So how do you save a marriage that is dealing with pornography? You handle it the same way as any other problem that can destroy your marriage. Simple right?

Well, it's a bit more complicated because pornography can easily become addictive and for some is difficult to quit because it's so easy to get sucked back in, even when trying to give it up.

Now, if other folks have been able to free themselves from all kinds of addictions then it's very possible for a spouse struggling with pornography to give it up for the sake of their marriage.

You will find spouses making the same excuses for doing it as a person hooked on a substance like; "It makes me happy"; "I'm not addicted and can stop anytime I want"; "It's how I deal with the stresses in my life".

I have known drug and gambling addicts give up their addictions overnight and smokers quit pretty much on the spot as well as folks addicted to porn. So I know it can be done so it's not a matter of can a marriage be saved but is there a will to save the marriage struggling with pornography.

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Here are some tips to help figure out how to save the marriage

Don't Give Up

It can be very frustrating when dealing with such a delicate matter but you must persevere and save your marriage and your spouse. You see, as I mentioned before pornography can easily lead to destroying your marriage and family. It gets progressively worse over time and in many instances, if not controlled, can advance to some type of affair (emotional or physical).

It's critical that your spouse knows how important this issue is to you and your marriage and that you will continue working on this problem until it's resolved. Your spouse will probably not even acknowledge there is a problem but if it's affecting your marriage and your happiness then make him or her understand that it's a problem that has to be resolved.

Don't Give In

There may be a number of reasons that your spouse will give for needing to continue viewing pornography like; "It makes me a better partner for you" or "I'm always looking for creative ways for us to be more fulfilled".

Although your spouse may be saying these things I find it hard to believe he or she really feels this way. It's another way of saying "leave me alone". Don't give in.

Your spouse may also try to blame you for not meeting all their needs or putting to much stress on the marriage.

If your spouse is blaming you for their addiction then try to get out of him/her what it would take for them to give up the addiction. Please be warned that the answer might be outrageous or something impossible for you to do.

Don't give in because it's probably just another way of saying "I don't want to give up my addiction".

Finally I would suggest you get some help in dealing with not only this issue but other underlying problems that may need to be dealt with.

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You're searching for ways to stop divorce now. That's because you and your spouse have reached a point in your relationship where it feels like divorce is inevitable. Perhaps you can't speak without arguing or one of you was unfaithful to the other. Regardless of what has brought you to this point, you need to address the issues now if you aren't certain divorce is truly what you want. Unless you face the situation head on and take the appropriate actions, you are going to be destined to watching your family come apart at the seams.

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Agree to a longer separation. Many people jump head first into the idea of divorcing without ever considering a separation. When you two are living together and it constantly feels as though you're embattled in conflict, divorce seems logical. However, some time apart can make a huge difference in how you view one another. Instead of taking the legal step towards ending your marriage completely, agree to a separation.

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Plan communication sessions. One of the main reasons why couples divorce is they stop communicating with each other. That's often happens because they can't carry on a conversation without an argument ensuing. If you two don't find a way to talk openly and honestly about the issues that are impacting your marriage, you'll never be able to repair it. Scheduling time to talk with rules set out upfront is very helpful. Agree on a time that you two can discuss things without interruption. Then agree to not interrupt your partner and insist on the same from them. Work on making this a reality and you'll soon discover how much smoother communication is between the two of you.

Let go of the resentment and anger. Constantly holding onto anger and resentment can very easily lead to the end of a marriage. It undermines the love that and admiration that is there. You have to move past the things that are causing you to resent your partner. Make a mutual agreement to leave the past in the past. Learn how to forgive each other. If you can do this and can start afresh, your marriage will certainly have a fighting chance.

With the right attitude, and the necessary insight you can definitely stop your divorce. Do whatever is necessary to save your marriage before it's too late. You'll be grateful you did.

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The truth is that there are definitely things that you can do, but you have to do them correctly or else there really is little hope sadly to say. Luckily if you follow the steps outlined in the Save Your Marriage Today course, then you've got a really good chance of picking up the broken pieces of your marriage, and not only that, but gluing them back together to where there's even a stronger bond.

In my own marriage my wife and I went through a point that seemed like the end was very near. Every night I would lay there staring at the ceiling, wonder what was going to happen. Sometimes even making long term plans such as family trips, vacations, or moves seemed ridiculous because who knew if we would even be together.

To make matters worse, we had two young children who were already being effected by our fighting and distance, and would we both knew would be even more devastated if a divorce actually happened. It was a very bad time.

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Thankfully we were able to learn some very profound, solid strategies to repair our marriage. These strategies actually came from Save My Marriage Today. They were the glue that helped us pick up the broken pieces.

To be honest, at first I hated it. I thought it would never work in a million years. In fact some of the concepts really aggravated me to no end. The truth was I was just being a stubborn hard head. That's me! But every time I looked into my children's eyes, and even in my wife's eyes I knew that I couldn't let this marriage end.

Luckily I grew up a bit, followed the strategies, and I can say that to this day I couldn't be happier with my marriage. Of course we have our moments, but we truly have gained a total new respect for one another, and we have learned how to work out our problems without going overboard.

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Before you have children, you don't have any idea about the depth of love that you are capable of feeling for another human being. Most of us think that we could never love anyone more than our spouse. Until we have children - and then we feel a love that reaches an entirely new level. Most people would do absolutely anything for their child and they would make any sacrifice to ensure that their child has the best upbringing as is humanly possible. We want to do anything in our power to avoid our child feeling pain. We don't want to do anything that would prevent them from becoming the healthiest and happiest adult as is possible.

That's why many people chose to stay together - even as their marriage struggles - when they have children. Countless studies tell us that it is much better for a child to grow up with both parents. There is a lot of data that suggest just how damaging a divorce can be to a child and to the adult that the child eventually becomes.

And that's why many couples will decide to stay together for the sake of their children. They resign themselves to the fact that they are just going to have to stick it out and worry about their children's well being over their own. But they also worry about how they will manage this while maintaining any deserved happiness in their life.

Someone might say: "my husband and I have been drifting apart for years. At first, we just didn't interact with one another and we avoided each other. But that phase passed and then we started to fight. Our fights have gotten pretty bad. We have considered separating or divorcing. But we have two children who are more important to us than anything. Both of us grew up in single-parent homes and we do not want that for our kids. So we both agree that we will not consider doing anything to end or pause our marriage until our children are grown. But how do we get along during this process? We make each other so angry. And how will we not be miserable? Two unhappy parents isn't good for our kids either."

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

There May Be An Emotional Investment That You Haven't Considered: You're absolutely right that an unhappy household isn't ideal for anyone. You probably see your anger as a very bad thing. But in terms of your marriage and it's ability to heal, I often see it as a good thing. Please hear me out. I know that statement sounds odd. But when people are still getting angry with one another, this is an indication that they still care and are still invested. If they didn't, the anger just wouldn't be there.

If you can accept that you still care, doesn't it make sense to try to make our marriage as good as it can possibly be? Since you've made the commitment to stick it out, it doesn't make sense to also sentence yourself (and your kids) to a house full of misery. Instead, you want to learn the behaviors that will make your household a happy one.

Understanding What It Takes To Be Happy: I think that there's actually a couple of ways to be happy in this situation. The first is to not base your contentment on what is happening externally. You can't control other people. You can only control yourself. People who learn to seek happiness inside of themselves are much more content regardless of their circumstances. This isn't always easy to accomplish, but once you do, your entire life changes. Once you understand that you alone are responsible for your own happiness level, every thing looks dramatically different.

The second suggestion that I have is to change your perception about your marriage. Right now, you're seeing it as if there is no hope at all. You perceive that you just have to stick it out. But what if you didn't? What if you could actually enjoy those years? Your anger shows me that the feelings are still there. That's a great start because not every one has that.

Changing The Dynamic Or Your Interactions: The next step would be to learn new skills so that your interactions with your husband are actually positive instead of negative. I know first hand that it is possible. Some couples have counseling to help them with this. And others work very hard on their own. It does take commitment and work. But countless couples are taught to interact with one another in new and positive ways. And once this happens, they find that they feel loving toward one another again. They see themselves as a team and as part of whole rather than seeing themselves as unhappy individuals.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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