How To Survive The Anguish of Your Partner's Affair

Rejected. Compromised You never imagined it could happen to you.In your wildest nightmare you never imagained that all the love and trust you gave to your loved one could be betrayed.And now you're struggling to survive the agony of your partner's affair.

Although it is a numbing reality, the full impact still has'nt really sunk home yet. You feel as if you're wandering in a twilight zone. Where reality,fantasy and uncertainty all melt together. Leaving you with nothing to cling to. No certainty. No direction. And worst of all,no will to survive.

But you must survive. You must get past the nightmare legacy of your partner's affair. In this column, I'll outline the steps you need to take to exit your twilight zone of misery and move ahead into the nourishing sunlight of hope.

The primary positive action is to throw off the coat of "victim conciousness."It goes without saying, you've suffered horrible pain. Agony unimaginable. Nights without sleep. And days you wander aimlessly through like a zombie. But as devastating as they were....they're in the past.

Accordingly,it's important for you to understand that if you want to acheive a positive change in your situation, those negative thoughts need to stay in the past.Otherwise, you will have no future. Just a descent futher and further into "emotional quicksand" that you create.

It's also essential for you to re-affirm the obvious: The Affair wasn't your choice. So why should you shoulder the blame? It was your partner who decided to cross over to the other side of the road to see if "the grass was greener." Not you. You're not responsible for that, any more than you could be responsible for a plane crash just because you were in the airport!

Following on, the second advance in getting back your self-respect and health is to accept responsibility for your own life. The one you have now. Not the one you had. That,clearly,needs to be left in the past. This is your opportunity, and your obligation to invest your engery on your needs and desires.

Of course it will be difficult. Of course you will have doubts and misgivings. But it is your inner strength that must be regained if you're to go forward surviving this disaster. And to regain that power you can't disappate your internal forces dragging around the remorseful chains of the unfaithfullness.

Your power needs to be concentrated on taking back your self-respect. Without doubt it will be a formidable challenge coming to grips with the aftermath of the depressing influence of your spouse's infidelity

But if you can't be your own best champion, how can you expect anyone else to cheer you on? If you're constantly running yourself down,who's going to want to pull you up? Keep in mind self-respect, like charity, begins at home!

In summary accept that your road back to self-respect won't be a walk in the park. But by instituting positivesteps you will gradually weaken the force of the negative affair images.

There's no time like the present to take action and focus your personal power on creating those positive results.Because their effect is progressive. And increases exponentially in relation to your efforts.

If you put this plan into action sincerely and consistently,There is no doubt in my mind you will survive the agony of your partner's affair.