Whenever a woman says "Let's just be friends", you can be assured that you did something to devalue yourself. Stay out of the Friend Zone with these easy tips.
1. Keep dating other people until you have "the talk".
So many people find someone they really like and after a few dates they are already thinking commitment. Some go as far as ending other casual dating relationships in order to get closer to their love object. Don't make this mistake.
Keep dating other people. And DO NOT tell the person you are seeing that you are not dating anyone else. This is a disaster waiting to happen! If you are not actively dating other people (and you should be), then you need to avoid the conversation topic. You can playfully avoid the question until after a couple months (yes, months) of dating.
2. Be there for her, but not too available.
This goes along with number 1. You don't have to jump at every text/email/phone call. If your life is exciting and fun, how could you be there to answer or reply whenever the other person calls you on a whim? Simply... you couldn't be there.
Desire builds in absence. Give a woman the best gift ever - the gift of missing you. That way, she can fantasize about you in your absence. And, she will like you more!
You don't have to play any games... just have a life of your own. Trust me, this makes you extremely attractive.
3. Kiss her as early as possible on the first date.
If you wait until the end of the night, you set yourself up for awkwardness because the "move in close for a goodnight kiss" is expected on the first date. Be unpredictable by finding that opportunity to kiss her in the middle of the date (if all is going well). Who knows? By the end of the night you may be making out with each other.
The idea is to show that you are spontaneous, fun, and interested in a sexual relationship with her. Don't be afraid of rejection, just man up and give her a kiss. She will enjoy the surprise.
4. Avoid phone calls on the same night of the first few dates.
You don't recap dates with your "lover"... you recap with your friends. Stay out of the friend zone by showing a little patience.
If you enjoyed yourself, send her a text or an email 18-24 hours after the date saying "I had a nice time with you. We'll have to get together again soon." That's it.
What this does is
a) Shows her that you liked her
b) Lets her see you taking the lead and planting the seed for another encounter
c) Gives her time to think about you and the date (without you messing it up with boring/nervous/awkward chatter).
d) Takes you out of the category of all the men who send themselves to the friend zone by their over-exuberance. :-)
5. No gifts until you have established a real relationship.
You are the gift. By giving a woman a gift too soon, you may think you're being romantic, but you are not. You are objectifying a woman and making her think you have to qualify yourself to her. That is anti-seductive.
In a healthy relationship, you should both have standards. Stop trying to woo women. Make them have to qualify themselves to YOU. Most women won't admit it, but we really want a man to be a man and take the lead in relationships. If he begins to act like a lovesick puppy, we LOSE attraction for him.
To read more about this phenomenon visit www.firstloveyou.com/beta-male.html
6. Do not agree with the her all the time.
Sure, you may really like her. And sure, you want to impress her. But when someone agrees with everything you say, it's like an annoying fly in your house - simply buzzing around, invading your space... and getting on your nerves, too.
Have a back-bone and share your thoughts! When those opinions are different you can have some pretty lively discussions. Remember, the most powerful sexual organ is the brain. Stimulate hers with interesting and original opinions. You will stay out of the Friend Zone if you do.
7. Don't let her get away with disrespecting you.
If she says she's going to call you at 8:30 and she doesn't call until the next day, CHECK her. -Meaning- Say something like "I always keep my word and I only talk to people who do the same. You said you were going to call and you didn't. Are you always that flaky?"
Us women may not even realize that we are testing you, but we are. We only desire men who won't put up with disrespect. It's hard-wired in us. So if you want our "affection"... tolerate everything. However, if you want us to be crazy-attracted to you, then stand up for yourself and do not put up with even the slightest amount of disrespect.
And yeah, I made up the word "crazy-attracted" but that was the only way that I could describe how I feel when a man shows that he's valuable. :-)
Follow these steps and you will never hear "let's just be friends" again. Good luck to you!!
I am a motivational speaker, webmaster, and blogger who quit my corporate job in January '08 to pursue a life in which I create. I am serious about personal growth and passionate about people and relationships. Thanks so much for reading my work!