I want to be happy. Do you want to be happy? I don’t know about you, but whether you are single, in a relationship, or married, wouldn’t you like to be happy? I know it is cliché to say, but one way to be happy is to be happy with YOU first! Yes, psychiatrists and psychologists know exactly what they are talking about when it comes to this and those extra dollars you are paying, is not for nothing…lol.
When you love yourself first, you are then able to love someone else. When you love yourself first, you will not put up with unnecessary issues or drama that others may bring to your life. When you love yourself first, any hate aimed towards you; any negativity will not stick. You know the old adage “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will bounce back off of me.” Okay, that is not exactly what it says, but you get my drift. We should love ourselves with everything we have and all that we are; body and soul.
Now, the question is what is next? Happiness & Relationships or Relationships & Happiness can go either way or hand in hand; depending on your situation and circumstances. If you are single, you can be happy. You can be happy with your achievements and with everything you have going on in your life. I have seen this happen on so many occasions. You may not be romantically involved with someone, but to obtain happiness without being in a relationship is doable. Again, it goes back to you loving yourself first. If you are single, take this time to pursue your life’s goals; things you would like to achieve or accomplish. If you want your own business, go for it! If you want to own your home, go for it! If you would like to finish school, go for it! Happiness can be obtained and having a partner does not make or break you as a person especially if you are already happy with yourself. In pursuing your dreams and goals, that love interest will eventually sneak up on you. But, do not make that a priority in your life.
You see, when it comes to relationships, too many people put their focus on finding someone; saying “If only I had that wonderful person in my life I would be happy.” That could be true however, let’s say you find that wonderful partner, then, you would be looking for something else to make you happy; saying “If only I had that perfect house, car, or made more money.” The key to this thing we call life is that you have to first love YOU…then, you need to learn to be happy with the things you have been blessed with.
Lastly, relationships are what you make them. Some can turn into long term relationships, or some can be short term; meaning that person was put in your life for you to learn whatever lesson you needed to learn at that moment. The term relationships defined in this article is being romantically involved. Once you love yourself you will eventually attain a relationship and eventually want to be happy in that relationship. Relationships require work. I don’t care what anyone tells you, if you want your relationship to progress and blossom into a beautiful union; you have to put in work. I have three rules for maintaining happiness in relationships. They are:
Kill them with kindness - When it comes to arguments or disagreements, kill them with kindness. You don’t always have to have the last word. Be quiet just for a moment and let the other person take a minute or 15 to calm down and you can eventually talk things out like two adults.
It’s the little things – Men and women alike want to feel loved and appreciated in a relationship. Not in a smothering way of course. In this day and age, people are not giving props where props are due within their relationship. Their partner can go out of his/her way to do something really nice for them only to not receive a simple ‘thank you’ for their efforts. We have got to start showing more love in our relationships. There is this stigma about being corny or if you do something nice for your significant other you are love whipped. Again, men and women alike want to feel loved and appreciated and yes I repeated that statement so that you can let it sink in. Show your appreciation whenever possible and always say thank you.
Always do good works for other people – It does not matter if you are having a bad day or you just don’t feel like being nice today. Let’s repeat together... Do good works for other people even if there is nothing in it for you. That’s right! Do you sometimes wonder about that person that seems as if they get everything they want and they are always blessed or why they are always so darn happy? When you do good deeds for other people, regardless of what it is, #1 it does something to you as a person. It makes you feel good inside for being able to bless someone else. #2 that blessing of you buying the neighbor groceries when you know they were just laid off, as an example; it comes back. It may not come back at that time or moment, but when it does, you will remember your being a blessing in the past. Karma is real people.
In conclusion, love, happiness and relationships are connected in many ways and they are all collectively attainable. You just have to learn how to tie them altogether to help make the goal that you are trying to achieve become existent and it all starts with you loving YOU first. Without love (of yourself) you cannot possibly be happy within a relationship loving someone else.
I am Lady Love and I am here to assist and provide you with information you can use within your relationships, friendships, and dating. As a former freelance article writer for BrownSkin magazine, 10 + years of relationship experience, and through extensive research, I provide you with loads of information to help answer many questions you may have about dating, relationships, sex, love and happiness. On top of it all, I offer you honest, unbiased, no holds barred answers to your most intimate questions.