Husband Doesn't Follow Through On Promises: How To Save Your Marriage When Your Spouse Doesn't Want To

I sometimes hear from people who are incredibly disappointed in their spouse's lack of effort and integrity when it comes to saving their marriage. Often, both spouses have made promises and commitments about what they are willing to do in order to make things work, but only one of them actually makes good on these promises. This can leave the spouse who is trying very hard wondering if it's even possible to make any improvements on their own. And, even if it is, there can be a lot of resentment at having to walk this path all alone.

Common comments are things like: "my husband and I have considered separating or divorcing for a total of about four times. It seems like there is no intimacy, attraction, or love left between us. I don't think that my husband appreciates me enough. He doesn't even notice all of the things that I do or how many things I juggle on a continual basis. He never tells me that he loves me. He no longer does nice things for me. Several times in the past, I've told my husband that I no longer want to live this way. And every time, he begs me not to leave and says that he is going to be more attentive. He will promise me that he will plan weekly date nights. He promises that he will be more affectionate. Once, when I actually left our home for a couple of days, he promised that he would find a counselor and schedule an appointment. So, I came home full of hope. Well, weeks went by with no counselor appointment. Eventually, it just became obvious that my husband has no real intention of doing any of the things that he has promised me. Honestly, I was pretty miserable when I left home for those couple of days. I truly don't want a divorce. But at the same time, I don't want to settle for a husband who promises me very basic things but then never follows up. How can I get him to make good on his promises in terms of saving our marriage?" I'll try to address these concerns below.

Accept That Change May Be Gradual, But Steady: I felt that the wife was absolutely right to take this concern so seriously. The fact was that if nothing changed, she was going to continue to be unsatisfied and resentful. And she deserved more than this. With that said, sometimes in order to have lasting success, you have to accept that this is going to be a gradual process. She'd expressed several issues. She'd asked for real, intense, and meaningful change from a man who has already shown himself to be resistant to the same. So in order to make this manageable, it made sense to break this down into several different steps. I felt strongly that she would have a greater chance of meaningful success if she accepted gradual change that didn't require of the needed concessions all at one time.

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Schedule A Time So That You Are Both Accountable: I know from experience that the biggest mistake that couples make in this situation is that they leave things open ended. They may very specifically tell their spouse what they want, but then they just leave the rest up to their spouse and are disappointed when things don't happen to their liking. Accept that you may have to hold his hand throughout this process.

I find that it is very helpful to schedule a regular "check in" once per week. This doesn't need to be an awkward or anger filled meeting. You can make it fun by going out to dinner to scheduling a fun event to coincide with your conversations about your marriage. The idea is that the two of you sit down and define your weekly goals in terms of your marriage. You'll tell him what you'd like to see from him throughout the week. Be specific, but don't pile it on so thickly that he will feel as if nothing that he does is going to please you.

Then, follow up just as you have promised. Meet the next week and discuss what both of you did right and what could have gone better. Make absolutely certainly that you acknowledge what your spouse did right. Let him know how much you appreciate his efforts. This is so vitally important. Because as soon as he figures out that he's going to get a legitimate pay off from doing what you've asked, then he's going to want to repeat the process. Brag on his accomplishments. Be liberal with your affection and your praise and watch how quickly he will offer you more of the same.

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On the other hand, if there are some places where he's falling short, point that out too. However, always try to give him some positive reinforcement before you unleash the negative. For example you might say: "I appreciate how you rubbed my back a couple of times this week. I know that you made an effort with that and I definitely noticed. It's so nice to get that after a long day. And I plan to reciprocate regularly. I did notice though that you didn't make the effort for showing me some appreciation when I went out of my way to do some things that seemed to go unnoticed. So this week, I'd like to just place our focus on that. I'd like for both of us to spend each evening saying what we appreciate about the other. Are you game? I think it will really help us."

After you say this, don't dwell on it. Try to make the evening pleasant so that he won't come to dread these meetings. This way, he knows that he is going to be accountable to what you have asked him to do, but at the same time, he doesn't have to think that this is a painful process that he needs to avoid. Repeat the process every week. Try to focus on something very specific each week. For one week, you might want to make the assignment procuring counseling or whatever else needs attention.

Over time, you should see him gradually begin to make good on his promises. Better than that, he will actually be willing to do so because he knows that you are going to focus on what he's doing right rather than criticize him about what's going wrong.

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All of us have a certain set of skills and talents that we were either born with or have developed over years of practice and experience. For most of us though, none of these skills actually pertain to saving ones marriage. If you're having serious marriage problems and are possibly on the verge of divorce, then lacking the skills to save it isn't your short coming. It's because you've never done it before.

Learning to accept this sooner than later can make all the difference in the world when you first set out to save your marriage. Because, many of us are to stubborn to believe that we need help. We would rather sacrifice our own marriage than to go out on a limb and ask for help whether we realize it or not. Mainly to do with our own false sense of pride. But, is your pride worth your marriage? It's a question worth asking and one you should carefully consider over the next weeks or months while your trying to save your marriage. Pride can be the undoing of many a marriage that could have been saved.

So why am I asking you to question your pride? Because it's a factor that often stands in the way of saving our marriage. I know that your pride has already taken a considerable hit as it is. But, it's also something that's standing in your way of getting your marriage the help it needs.

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I know that you believe you can save your marriage because you know it inside and out, but you could potentially ruin it further if you don't get the help your marriage needs. Much like you would seek out a professional for anything else in your life that was outside your set of skills and talents. You could probably put a new roof on your house, some nails, shingles and some good old elbow grease, but you know if the professional did it that it would be done 100% right. They would also know a whole lot about what not to do while trying to fix it and the danger involved in doing this or that. Not to mention, their little hypothetical bag of tricks they use to make things easier.

The same goes with your marriage. Would you rather leave it up to yourself to fix your marriage, all the while knowing that you have no real knowledge of what it takes to save a marriage, or would you feel more confident with a professional? Weigh your options carefully, drop your pride off and put yourself under the guidance of someone who's skills and talents is in saving marriages from divorce.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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It is a horrible feeling to see your marriage crumble. A marriage is meant to be an eternal bond between two people, and it is hard to set up. An ending marriage is a "failure" - it means all your efforts that went into this marriage were in vain. It is a horrible feeling - and it's even worse if you're the side who wants to save the marriage.

I must say that I feel for you, and I know how you feel; since I was in the same situation some time ago. My husband had started losing interest in anything that had to do with me for some time, and I could see the divorce coming. And then it became even more obvious when he completely lost all his interest in me. I tried everything to prevent a divorce from happening - but how do you save your marriage when your spouse has lost all interest in you?

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Let's fast forward to today now. I am still with my spouse, and moreover, we're better than we have ever been. We're even happier than we were in our honeymoon! It is such a joyful feeling to know that you have not only saved your marriage but made it the best thing in the planet. Now that I saved my marriage, I think every marriage can be saved with the right actions. It all depends upon you.

The best advice to give in this situation is not to beg your spouse. The fundamental principle you should act upon is that people want what they can't have. And when you beg your spouse you're not making this principle work in your favor - you're making it work AGAINST you. You have to play the "inaccessible" spouse - this is the best way of saving your marriage, since it makes the basic principle work for you. It is a law of human psychology.

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When my marriage was in shambles I asked myself, 'How to save my marriage today?'. I hated the way things were and needed marriage help and advice to retain my sanity. However, I was afraid to talk to my family and friends about this problem. I went on the internet to look for answers and these are 3 effective tips that paved the way to my blissful marriage today.

1. Stop playing the blame game

When the situation between my husband and I was bad, I tend to push the blame on him. I felt so frustrated that he kept picking on my shortcomings and felt that he should accept me for who I am. After all, he was the one who proposed and chose to marry me.

This constant blame that I put on him made him feel responsible that we ended up in such a situation. When he brought up the topic on getting a divorce, it gave me a wake up call. I knew I did not want to lose the one and only man I truly love. I knew I needed help.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

2. Get help from experts

We looked for help from books and did the exercises they provided. However, I felt that those exercises we followed, did not help with our marriage. I needed a guide or an expert to listen to our problems and help us through the challenges we were facing.

I found an expert, on the internet, that steered my relationship to happiness. It was such a good service because I needed the anonymity. I wanted to know how to save my marriage today but did not want the people in my community to know about the problems I have at home.

3. Take action from the advice given

Indeed, there are plenty of resources you can find to help save your marriage. However, you and your spouse have to take action. Receiving advice without carrying it out will not make any difference to your present situation.

Take action if you are asking 'how to save my marriage today?' Only you and your spouse can make the difference. But you need to know where to start and specifically what to do.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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