I Feel Like My Anger Is Ruining My Marriage, How Can I Stop This? How to Re-Ignite the Romance and Save Your Marriage From a Terrible Collapse!

It's an awful feeling when you know that you are watching your marriage deteriorating before your very eyes. It's a much worse feeling when you know that this deterioration is potentially all your fault. And that can be especially bad if you're dealing with something you feel you should learn to control - like your anger.

Someone might explain: "I am fully aware that my anger is destroying my marriage. And what's so awful is that I was not always this way. I used to be happy-go-lucky and laid back. It used to take quite a bit to get me angry. That is not the case anymore. I have two children under the age of three. I feel pulled in many different directions. I feel incredibly overwhelmed. And I suppose because of this, I find myself snapping at just about everyone. My kids. My husband. My mom. Sometimes, my anger seems to come out of nowhere but then once it appears, I can't seem to control it. I will say things that I can not believe are coming out of my mouth. And I will slam things. Last night when we were having dinner, one of the kids mentioned that he did not like the food. Typical toddler stuff. I asked him to try it anyway. He refused. And I got up, left the table, and pushed my chair in so loud, it made him cry. My husband went after me and told me he did not recognize the person I had become. He asked me when I had become an angry person. I told him that I don't know. He said he is not sure how much longer he can live this way. He said that he had told himself he would never put his children through a broken home, but he insisted that my anger is very unhealthy for them also. How do I stop my anger from destroying my family and my marriage?"

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Well, I'm not a therapist or a specialist in anger, but it doesn't take a specialist to know that it's vital to get your anger under control as soon as possible. And I know from watching friends go through this that women's anger can be a little trickier than men's anger. Because much of the time, hormones are involved - especially after a recent pregnancy, which seems to be the case here. I'm not a doctor, so I am only speculating and I would strongly encourage you to see one. But it would make sense, especially considering the fact that you've never had anger issues before.

My first stop would be to get my hormones evaluated and to follow up with any suggestions that my doctor might have. I would see a therapist who specializes in women's issues. I don't have to tell you how damaging this can be to your family. Because you already know that. And the fact that you have self awareness about it is a good thing - because not every one does. Many people are not only angry, but they are defensive - denying that the anger even exists and blaming every one else.

That is not the case here. You are aware of what is going on and you are motivated to change it - which is half the battle already. Even if there are hormones involved which get fixed, I'd suspect that you're still going to have to work at changing your triggers and habits. Because if this has gone on for a while, it has become a habit. Once you're triggered by something, you resort to what has become your go - to method of handling it - your anger. In order to break this cycle, you have to recognize the trigger, and then employ a new, more positive method to deal with it. Do this enough times and the habit is broken and replaced with the more appropriate one.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

I don't mean to make this sound like it's a case of "mind over matter" because I don't believe that it's as simple as that. I believe that it would really help to see a professional that can help you see exactly what is going on and offer you the most efficient way to handle it.

But noticing it and being willing to change are good signs that show you have the necessary self awareness and motivation to change. Your family will be much better off and I am sure you will feel much better too. Because you're probably suffering from guilt and shame heaped on top of the anger, which just feeds into the whole negative cycle.

You may want to let your husband know about these realizations because it may help him to be a little more patient. The next time this topic comes up, you might try something like: "you are absolutely right. This isn't like me. That's not an excuse, but you know that this isn't typical behavior for me. That's why I feel that I need to be evaluated and treated by someone. I want to stop this, but I suspect that hormones are involved because of my pregnancies and I'm going to need help fixing that. I am committed to fixing it, though. And I'd like to ask you to help me by supporting me and bringing my attention to it when you see any anger cropping up. You know that I'm very committed to being the best wife and mother I can possibly be. And part of that means that I need to address this immediately. I hope that you support me in this."

I feel strongly that he will likely throw his support behind you. It only benefits him for you to fix this to and return back to your old self. And even he's admitted that this is not typical behavior for you. So it is likely pretty clear to him that you're not doing this on purpose.

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Do you want to restore your marriage or continue to despise your spouse and make every day a living nightmare for you and your spouse? I hope your answer is to restore your marriage and put an end to living in marriage hell because life is much better when husband and wife are making love and not war.

It's puzzling at times to believe that two people who once cherished the ground each other walked on get to the point where being in the same room is aggravating. No more hugs and kisses. No late night conversations or holding hands while walking through the malls or park. No surprise gifts or love letters or dinners. Going to bed at the same time and actually cuddling or doing more is just a dream.

The good news is that it's possible to restore your marriage and get back to doing the things you used to love. Here are a few tips to help you restore your marriage;

Marriage Restore Tip #1

Ask your spouse for a truce. That's right I would suggest that you let your spouse know that you are tired of fighting, tired of working against each other and being married in title only. To restore your marriage you need time to regroup and it's hard to do so when you are in the heat of the battle. If your spouse isn't willing to put a hold on being miserable that's ok. You will just need to do more to bring peace and restoration to your marriage.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Marriage Restore Tip #2

Bring back the old days. You were obviously madly in-love at one point in your relationship. You probably went out of your way to do things to make each other happy. Why not reach back and do some of the corny things you used to do? Try holding hands even if you don't feel like it. Try sprinkling some "thank you" and "I appreciate what you did" comments in your daily conversations, even if it kills you. If you find a hard time verbally saying kind things to your partner, use text or email messaging to help restore civility to your marriage. You will be surprised at how easy you can fall back into the habit of being kind and respectful to each other.

Marriage Restore Tip #3

Just do it. It doesn't take a whole lot to restore your marriage. The key is to forgive and ask for forgiveness and be willing to make your marriage the most important relationship you have.

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It's sad to hear so many people saying help me save my marriage, and I don't know what to do to fix it. It hurts to see so much of this.

The problem is that there is so much crap information out there. There's so much going on out there that doesn't work.

Another problem is that so many people want to tell you what you should do to save your marriage, but what they forget to tell you is what you SHOULDN'T do that will probably make the situation even worse.

When I was looking to save my marriage I made the same mistake. I was looking for ways to fix it. You know, stuff that I should do to fix the marriage that was causing me stress and keeping me up at night.

But at the same time I did a bunch of stuff that I shouldn't have done.

I see this a lot now, people may actually be going in the right direction doing some of the things that could help (usually they're severely misinformed here too though)... but at the same time doing so many of the no no's that they're ultimately getting nowhere at tall.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

It's like playing tug o' war. If you're pulling two sides of a rope in opposite directions the middle of the rope basically stays right where it's at. No way to get ahead, especially if you're asking help me save my marriage.

So What Are the Things That You Should Be Doing If You Need Help Saving a Marriage?

First of all: Don't go talking to a lawyer just in case... In many of my articles, and in my E-course I talk a lot about how you should just take divorce off the table all together. So going to talk to a lawyer is a no no, unless of course you're being abused. If that's the case then run like hell.

Second: Don't ask your family and friends for advice... They don't know anything about marriage most likely, and even if they do they're already in a biased situation and therefore are going to give you terrible advice.

Third: Don't play the blame game... It's tough I know, but the blame game really gets you nowhere. You can't fix your spouse in any way, so blaming them for everything isn't going to get you anywhere. Just start working on you, and the things about you that you can control. Whenever some tells me "help me save my marriage", I tell them to stop trying to change their spouse immediately.

It never happens. The faster you realize that you can't change someone else, even someone as close as your spouse, the better off you'll be...

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You're wondering if there's a list of signs your marriage is falling apart, aren't you? Sadly, it's because you already know that things between you and your spouse have been better in the past than they are now. It's difficult when you feel your relationship is shifting to a place of unhappiness and uncertainty. It's hard to know though if it's just a phase the two of you are going through or if there's something serious you really need to address. When you're in the thick of things, it's often challenging to see things for what they are. There is help for that. Once you are able to understand the signs that your relationship is headed towards disaster, you can set out to repair it before it's past the point of no return.

Here are 4 clear signs your marriage is falling apart:

You rarely talk to each other. Once a couple reaches a point where they only exchange words about the house or the kids, their marriage is definitely coming apart rapidly. If you feel as though there's a barrier between you and your spouse and you two can't find a way to communicate effectively, your marriage needs your attention, right now.

Intimacy is non-existent in your relationship. When lovemaking disappears from a marriage, it puts a heavy strain on both partners. The person pulling back from intimacy will feel guilty and the person being shunned will feel rejected. Intimacy is an essential part of a well balanced and satisfying marriage. If it's no longer a part of yours, divorce may be looming in your future.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

You look for excuses to spend less time together. When you're happily married there's no one you'd rather spend your time with than your spouse. When that shifts and you actively search for any small reason why you can't be with them, your marriage is definitely on the brink of falling apart. This is especially true if one or the other of you doesn't attend family vacations because they have too much work to tend to. This is simply a way for a person to distance themselves from the family because they are considering a separation.

Criticisms replace compliments. Do you remember the last time you complimented your spouse or they complimented you? Most couples who aren't getting along will resort to criticizing one another much more frequently then they'll compliment each other. This is a clear sign that you aren't as concerned with one another's feelings as you once were.

If you have no desire to end your relationship with your spouse you shouldn't ignore any of the warning signs your marriage is falling apart. You have to address the problems and get to work fixing them. If you don't, things will become increasingly worse.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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