I Left My Husband and Now I Miss Him: I Miss My Ex Husband Badly

When the last thing that you wanted was the separation in the first place, you are always trying to gauge how your spouse might be feeling or what he might be wanting, at least in my own experience. In my own situation, I would even attempt to notice the smallest things that might tip me off as to whether or not the situation was improving. Because my ultimate goal was to detect that he missed me and might one day be open to a reconciliation.

You may already know this, but it's often a little tricky to figure out how he might be feeling. You may want to just ask him, but the answer scares you. Or, you don't want to make it appear that you are overstepping or pressuring him when the situation is already so fragile.

I might hear from a wife who says: "I am dying to know what my husband is feeling during our trial separation. He is the one who wanted to take some time apart. I miss him horribly. I find myself thinking about him multiple times during the day. I can't get a read on how he might be feeling about me though. Some days, he seems almost loving. And other days, he seems distant and distracted. I might see him one day and I will go home and think that within a few months, we might be able to get back together. And then a few days later, his attitude might change and I will come home and wonder if I should start preparing my children for divorce. It's just a roller coaster ride. I really want to ask him how he is feeling. I know that this might not be the best idea, but I can think about little else and I feel like if I just went ahead and asked him, I might feel a little more at peace. How do you say the words? What is the best way to ask him how he is feeling?"

I do know how frustrating this feels. I experienced the same thing. But I have to tell you that this wife's hesitations about pushing him too far are exactly right. If you come across as pushing or as acting a little desperate, the situation can become worse and you may be left with bigger issues than wondering how your husband is feeling. So, I would suggest thinking about this and, if you are going to do it, try to do it in a very controlled manner.

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Ideally, in time it will become obvious how he is feeling. As things improve between you, he should be more forthcoming with his affection and his emotions. I know that it is difficult to see him change his behaviors over and over again. I know that this frightens you and brings about doubt. But quite frankly, it is very likely that he isn't exactly sure of his feelings and he might be feeling different things on different days. So, even if you were to ask him how he was feeling, you might get a different response on a different day, which might only confuse you more.

That's why I would caution you about basing everything on his own feelings. Things do change and evolve during your separation. And, as a result, feelings can change. How he feels today may not be how he feels tomorrow. That is why, in my experience, the best thing that you can do is to try to remain positive and supportive. If you notice that your asking about his feelings makes him hesitate or appear uncomfortable, it's best to stop and change the subject.

If you feel that you absolutely must ask him something to gauge his feelings, I'd suggest trying to be more general. Instead of saying things like: "do you miss me and do you think you might come home soon?," you might try something more general like. Here's an example: "how are you doing right now? Are things going OK for you?" If he wants to share his feelings about you, the marriage or the separation, then you have left it wide open for him to do so.

But, if he doesn't want to share or he doesn't know how he is feeling, then this question is general enough so that he can just give you a very broad answer about life in general and it will still be fine. So, you are covered both ways, which I think is optimal.

I understand why you want to know. But in my experience, great care should be taken here. The fact that there are some days when he is acting loving should tell you that he feels receptive at least some of the time. It's natural to see him act differently on different days. You just want to gradually see him be more receptive the more that time goes on. If you can set it up so that the two of you are smiling or being receptive most times when you meet, then you can assume that things are at least remaining stable. I know you'd like for him to proclaim that he misses you horribly and wants to come home right away. But if this is the case, he will often share this with you without your needing to ask and create additional risk and pressure.

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A pot of plant needs sun and water every day, but that is not enough for it to grow perfectly. It also needs fertilizer to become stronger. A marriage is just like a pot of plant too. It needs love and care, but not only that it, also needs romance to keep the spark going in the marriage. Even if you have got the most faithful spouse in this world, you still need to learn how to prevent the marriage from getting out of hand. How to nurture a marriage?

Convey your message across clearly
One of the most vital ways on nurturing a marriage is the communication. Make sure both parties spend some time everyday to listen and talk to each other. Whether it is of important issues or not, this a good habit to keep the bonding together.

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Show interest in your spouse
Even if you don't share the same passion as your spouse, you still can offer to participate once in a while. This is to at least make sure your spouse knows that you care.

Compromise
If you want to know how to nurture a marriage successfully, you need to compromise each other. Accept the give and take attitude in a marriage, this is to avoid unnecessary arguments which can hurt the both parties.

Be romantic
Isn't it a good feeling to receive a surprise from your spouse sometimes? You don't have to shower your spouse with gifts every day, sometimes a breakfast or a sweet little note can also be a good surprise or gesture to keep the fire going in the marriage.

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"I need some advice to help save my marriage." Is this something you've been saying recently? Have you and your spouse hit a crossroads and you wonder whether your relationship can survive? If this is indeed the case, there is help for you. Although it may feel as though your marriage is beyond repair, it's likely not. There are several things you can do, beginning today, to ensure your relationship with your spouse improves and your family stays together.

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Communication is obviously essential if you hope to have a mutually satisfying, fulfilling marriage. Most couples share everything about what they're feeling early in the relationship. They're open and honest and don't think twice about telling each other when something is bothering them. Once children, career pressures and the day-to-day stresses of juggling bills enter the equation, some people start to hold in what they're feeling so they don't burden their partner. You need to share what you're feeling with your partner and also encourage them to do the same. Ensure you approach the subject of an open and honest conversation in a non-threatening way. You have to reassure your spouse that you won't verbally attack them when they are revealing what they feel. If you can be supportive with them, they'll always feel safe and comfortable talking about the relationship with you.

Be more positive when you're with your partner and let that seep into how you treat them. When a relationship is beginning to come apart it's easy to focus just on the negative aspects of your partner. Make a point to only think about the things about your spouse you love. Tell them each and every day how thankful you are for what they bring to your life. As simple as this seems, it can greatly impact a relationship. When a person feels their partner is being more positive and caring, they'll reflect that in their own behaviour and will also be more affirmative.

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What do you do when you realize that your spouse doesn't want you anymore? You cry and then you cry some more, remembering all the good times you have had with your spouse. This is the case with everybody (and it was the case with me), but from there and on, people differ on what they do. Do they stand up and try to do something to prevent a divorce? Or do they accept a divorce and just let their family go? I did the former, and it was the best decision I have ever made. It's in your hands too, to save your marriage and make it better than ever.

When your spouse doesn't want you anymore, it's high time to have a look at yourself. How much have you changed? It's common instinct to blame your spouse when you realize that he or she hasn't been feeling the same things towards you as they did when you first married. But, don't you think that it can be because YOU have changed, and your spouse ended up with someone other than the one he or she married?

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How much alone time do you spend with your spouse? If your spouse doesn't want you anymore this can be because that the two of you have been emotionally distant for some time. When you don't nurture those feelings of romance and love in favor of playing your roles as a parent and/or trying to overcome the hardships in your lives; they can be easily forgotten. Love is like a language - if you don't speak it often, sooner or later you are going to forget it. So, do it today and arrange some free time that you are going to spend alone with your spouse. Make your spouse a priority, and set aside a period of time each day to nurture the love and romance when you realize that your spouse doesn't want you any more.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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