One of the biggest obstacles that we *all* have to face from time to time is dealing with Confrontationâ
And most of us canât stand it!!
Fact is, youâre not going to be able to âwinâ every time â¦and some people are so stubborn that theyâll argue till theyâre blue in the face â even when they KNOW they are wrong!
Do you know someone like this? I certainly do!
In fact, many years agoâ¦I was this person! Call it stubborn pride, call it ridiculousâ¦ whatever label you give it - there is ONE thing I can tell you with absolute 100% certainty: This behavior will inevitably result in a clash.
If you ever find yourself on the receiving end of this stubbornness (or even if *you* are the stubborn one) -- the best way to move through the situation is to be âassertiveâ.
Assertive people are not rude, mean, cruel, and insensitive.
Assertive people do not project a callous disrespect and disregard for everyone around them.
Assertive people merely project their own humble awareness of their inherent worth; and everyone is worthwhile â even you.
Respect for other people, empathy for their feelings, and recognition of their worth are all underpinnings of an assertive personality.
Resentment, frustration, impatience, and anger all âcloudâ what could be a purely assertive act.
So, whatâs the âtrickâ then?
Whenever possibleâ¦ waiting to speak or act until you can do it from a place of Calm Respect â free of resentment, frustration, impatience, and anger, will transform the situation into one where everybody wins.
By the same token, simply âwaiting outâ your negative feelings without taking measures to relieve yourself of them can lead to a build-up of negative emotions.
This dangerous phenomenon is known as the âpressure-cookerâ syndromeâ¦
When un-expelled negative emotions build up to the point where we âblow our topâ -- usually in the wrong place at the wrong time and directed at the wrong people, in any case doing more harm than good.
Being Genuinely Assertive requires being responsible for your thoughts and feelings...
Being responsible for your thoughts and feelings does ânotâ mean blaming and unloading on others.
It means âtaking responsibilityâ for the thoughts and feelings we have and acting responsibly in accordance with them.
In the case of the âpressure cookerâ syndromeâ¦ itâs our resentment and frustration with ourselves for âputting upâ with an unpleasant and intolerable scenario that leads to our inappropriate outbursts.
Itâs ourselves weâre mad at; not the other person. So donât take it out on them.
Deal with the one responsible: yourself.
Then and âonlyâ then can you deal responsibly with anything outside yourself.
The Exciting News Isâ¦
Once you learn the ability to express your feelings respectfully and proactively, youâll no longer lose control to stubborn pride or inappropriate emotional outbursts.
These are the qualities of being truly assertive.
âAn Assertive Manner Improves Your Quality And Enjoyment Of Life â TEN Fold!â
Assertiveness leads to hiringâs, promotions, improved relationships, greater loves, and new opportunities galore.
It also builds respect and trust with your friends and colleagues, even the ones that have a different view on issues to you...
Richard is a Master Practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), Hypnosis, and Neurological Re-patterningâ¢. He is also the co-founder of New You Life Coaching.
Because his interests stem from philosophy, spirituality, psychology, and leadership, Rich's coaching style incorporates a rare and ingenious approach to understanding and empowering you in an insanely effective manner.