We all have negative and positive beliefs. Although it is well defined in the world what beliefs are negative and what are positive in a broad sense but for the trivial, more specific and personal matters, we are confused between positivity and negativity. Sometimes we take a thing as positive but it proves to be negative. Sometimes we think someone is positive and it proves to be negative or negative for us.
Negative sphere of mind is not something to ignore. It is not positivity rather negativity that causes all troubles and sufferings. All of us know about so called golden rules of positivity but we all are dealing with unsolved, complicated and constant mental anxieties of different kinds. We just cannot get rid of our web of needs, complaints, sufferings (may be of past, present or future) so easily. It is not a doll play to just want to live in the moment and we live!
Negative world needs to be explored more in detail and what is more important, we need to know that in negativity, not all negative thoughts are negative in nature, some are cruel/bitter realities/truths that need a real attention from us – a killer need not to feel better, he must feel guilty/sorry to become normal after sometime. An abused one need not to forgive his/her abuser in a minute - he will/may get hurt again in the future by such attitude/ or he might be exposed to such sufferings in the future if he does not bother or take any necessary steps to eliminate his abuses.
Sometimes we need to analyze ourselves whether we are right or wrong in our beliefs. At first we need to learn how to analyze ourselves honestly. Then we will be able to accept ourselves.
Many among us just could not differentiate properly between their positive and negative thoughts. Positive psychologists think we should get back to peace if we send gratitude. Sometimes, we are very kind and people get advantage on it and finally put us in trouble, in one way or the other. Although we know it is better to forgive them, but it needs to make clear how to forgive, how many times to forgive, after forgiving how to maintain the relationships etc. If you are blindly forgiving others especially evil groups of society, there will not be any full stop to that act- people might be getting advantage of it continuously. If you have a past with full of miserable memories, you would always be advised to forget it! But the question is how? It is not a button that will be turned off suddenly. Not all negative memories need to eliminate rather some of them need to keep with us to get some lessons out of it and to become cautious for the sake of our safety.
Basically, negativity is very important human trait that influences all our lives badly and severely. We are for the most of time in trouble due to negativity not positivity. So we need to understand our negativity first and then give importance to positivity.
From the word ‘negativity’, I mean things we do not like, things we think are not good for us, people we do not like, people we think are not our friends, and all other events that we think are against our benefit, are negative indeed. We suffer from our negativity and leaving it aside, usually work on positivity.
Although it is important to follow your interests but it is more important to check your dislikes. If you know your limitations and you try to deal with them positively, you will be much more positive and less negative as a result.
Although it is important to keep friends but it is more important to understand your enemies. If you try to deal with your enemies wisely and humanly, it will improve your positivity and reduce your negativity.
Similarly, if you want to hold beliefs that give you strength, it will be better to work on your negative beliefs. If you analyze truly, many of negative beliefs will prove negative and you will improve your positivity instead.
Mona Aeysha, PhD, is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist, have been working as a Teacher and Researcher in several institutes of Pakistan and Cambodia. Her major areas of interest are: self –esteem, self-concept, conceptual psychology, belief psychology, self psychology, preferential psychology, cultural psychology and women psychology.
You are always welcome to contact her via email if you have any query in this regard.