Lessons Learned from the Life of a Friend

By Ed Drozda, MBA

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While most of us are making resolutions, plans and schemes to mark the New Year, some have more pressing matters to consider. A fellow coach, colleague and friend had been diagnosed with cancer about a year and a half ago. A few months ago it appeared that the cancer had been adequately treated and it was no longer demonstrable.

Shortly after the New Year, what was scheduled as a routine follow-up revealed that the cancer had returned. While there are treatment options available, as it stands the recurrence is considered incurable. Disheartening as this may be, my friend is possessed with an indomitable spirit. While many would be inconsolable and lost, she has an endless reserve of hope; she has been an inspiration to me. I'd like to thank my friend for the lessons she has taught me and I'd like to share them with you to consider as you go about the process of growing and working on your businesses. I can distill the lessons into 4 descriptors, which vividly personify my friend:

Acceptance
There are some things that are outside of our control; health issues, economic change and decline, the decisions that others make, the actions others take, for example. In some cases there is no amount of effort or influence we can provide that will change these things. Accepting our limitations is difficult but profoundly freeing. We should do all that we can do, however I believe that if we dwell on that, which we cannot remedy, we lose precious time. When we recognize and accept what we cannot do we are then free to move forward and do the very best we are capable of. My friend has accepted that she has an incurable illness and she has moved on and is living perhaps a more enriched life than she ever has or otherwise might.

Hope
To believe in possibility even in the most desperate of times is to maintain hope. Hope is not wishful thinking; it's a resolution to look beyond the prevailing circumstances and to recognize that every bit of our potential is within our grasp. Hope inspires hard work; hope supports the effort of working hard. Hope makes it all worthwhile, no matter how tough the journey gets. My friend faces a certain outcome, yet the power of hope provides the framework to make this journey a far more enlightening experience for herself and those around her.

Integrity
The state of being whole, having fully integrated yourself with the world around you. It's more than being honest with others; it's being honest with yourself. To be in integrity is the gateway to being at peace with yourself. There is no greater clarity than when one faces their own destiny. At last the connection between you and your world is understood and valued. Being in a state of integrity provides access to your greatest potential.

Perseverance
If acceptance, hope and integrity are the foundation of and the gateway to achieving your goals then perseverance is the engine that sustains the effort. Through this experience my friend has developed a stunning clarity of who she is and where she fits in this world. Her acceptance has given rise to the hope that she will leave behind a legacy of tremendous proportion and value. The integrity in which she lives has provided her access to her true purpose- a purpose she will be able to share with those near to her. Finally it is perseverance that will ensure that all of her goals are reached, even if the time-lines aren't as generous as she may have hoped.

In the early months of 2009 my mantra was "don't wait until the sun shines- invest in your business now." Nonetheless, many folks elected to hunker down, some buried their heads in the sand and many more closed their doors for awhile, some for good. The predominant explanation (or was it an excuse?) was the flagging economy. Bottom line- a lot of folks lost hope and at least for the moment they couldn't see far enough ahead to believe they could make it. Some chose to expend their efforts on matters beyond their control, grew frustrated and gave up the fight. Others accepted their limits, opened themselves to new possibilities and through their integrity and perseverance forged ahead and remain viable today.

Consider these lessons I have learned from a friend. The success of your' business lies within you- if you haven't sorted that out yet, now is a good time to start working on it.