Iâve lost many things in my life. Jobs. Grandparents. Pets. Money. A house. A business. Even my identity at one point.
Iâve watched my parents lose their parents, my husband lose his father, my daughter lose teenage friends.
Iâve seen that in the moment these losses feel insurmountable.
Yet, Iâve also seen time heal the pain. Iâve seen people move on and find happiness again. And, Iâve done so myself.
While it used to take me a long time to let go and move on, these days that process happens faster. Perhaps because Iâve learned that life is about constant change. Like nature, everything has a season, a lifespan, and fighting it is futile.
Accepting this is a simple concept, but itâs not always easy.
Sure, itâs easy to let go of the small stuff. But the people or things weâre emotionally attached to, those are downright hard to let go of. We find it hard to imagine our lives without them. Often, we donât want to.
Years ago I studied The Sedona Method, a process that involves embracing feelings instead of trying to push them down. If youâre feeling angry or sad, this method encourages you to step fully into the emotion instead of trying to avoid it, which is what we often do because letâs face it, those feelings donât feel good.
Ironically, welcoming the emotion actually diffuses it. Thereâs something about not fighting the feeling that takes the teeth out of it and enables you to move through it faster, so you can release it and get to the other side.
Iâve done a lot of research on the subject of happiness and Iâve discovered that our brains are designed to be resilientâto bounce back and find happiness regardless of our circumstances.
Thereâs a concept known as The Adaptation Principle, which indicates that we tend to adapt to whatever happens. Research even shows that after one year, those who have become paralyzed and those who have won the lottery experience the same level of happiness. Hard to believe, but true.
Loss doesnât have to ruin our lives, and in most cases it doesnât. We just have a hard time seeing that in the moment.
Years ago I was given a valuable piece of advice: if something doesnât turn out the way you want, it just means thereâs something better in store for you. I tell my 22-year-old daughter this often when sheâs disappointed by lifeâs circumstances.
And you know what, as time passes that advice always comes true. Even in what often feel like âend of the worldâ situations, eventually the rainbow appears. Sometimes it takes days, other times months, but it always shows up. The key is recognizing this in the midst of the pain, and knowing that indeed this too shall pass. And not only will it pass, but it may actually lead you to a better place.
After spending 25 years in the marketing industry, Debbie LaChusa became so frustrated with its "be more, do more, have more" mentality that she began speaking out about it. She wrote a book entitled "Breaking the Spell: The Truth about Money, Success, and the Pursuit of Happiness" and created the Money Success Happiness blog all in an effort to help others learn how to stop chasing money, success, and happiness and instead discover the true path to a happy, healthy, wealthy life. To read the first chapter of "Breaking the Spell" for free, visit www.breakingthespellbook.com