Maria Shriver vs Arnold Schwarzenegger: Big Heart + Bad Man = Bad Combination

By Teagin Maddox

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has acknowledged fathering a child outside of his marriage to Maria Shriver, and to make matters even more painful and embarrassing, the woman in question shared time and space with Maria and her family. It doesn’t cut any deeper than to be so boldly deceived.

Schwarzenegger has flaunted his disrespect towards women for years, but with the powerful and likable Maria Shriver hanging on his arm, haven’t we all been a little baffled over why a woman such as Shriver would put up with such a seedy man? Could we have misunderstood “The Terminator’s” salacious ways? I think not; Maria could have any man she wants, yet this lowlife, woman-groping creep was her choice. It makes no sense, until you see things the way she does.

Women who find themselves in abusive relationships with destructive men always give the benefit of the doubt repeatedly, it is their nature to do so and their innate ability to do this is what attracts abusive men like Schwarzenegger into their lives. A man who puts himself first, partnering with a woman who is highly tolerant and wonderfully hopeful, is no coincidence.

Women with big hearts and bad men are a bad combination. If big-hearted Maria Shriver didn’t realize that she automatically led with her heart instead of her other resources, this is what got her into trouble and allowed her to give him much opportunity to hurt her. It’s not that she shouldn’t be caring, understanding and kind, it’s that she has to make assessments and decisions with this part of herself silenced at times, in order to protect herself. It isn’t that Maria didn’t see the clues~it’s that she rationalized them based on her own good character. We can, and should, look at how that happens without blaming her for HIS actions so we can learn how women get themselves caught up with bad men.

The media is directing us to focus on what Schwarzenegger said, what he did, and who it did it with, building the intrigue over his brashness and indirectly causing us to criticize Maria for tolerating such a sleazy liar. We grow irritated with the women in stories like this out of frustration; we want Maria to make a stand because we recognized Arnold’s disregard for her and his lack of empathy as his norm years ago. We wondered why Maria stayed and we critique her logic, yet we relate to what she is going through at the same time and we root for her.

Maria Shriver sees the kind side of her man, his successfulness, generosity, warm heart, and charm; she has been hopeful that because of all these qualities, he will man up and be an honorable guy. She waited a long time expecting he would understand the pain his past behavior had caused her, and that it would make him stop, but she didn't get it until now, when his long term affair revealed just how easily and coldly he could deceive her. You can see the problem then, is not only that Arnold is a dog, it is also that he has been interpreted by Maria unwittingly.

When a man's behaviors are excused because of all the good things the guy is, it is called dual thinking~he’s so bad, but, then again, he is so good. In the bad times, big-hearted women focus on all the great qualities and the good stuff, reasoning away the badness, thinking everyone deserves a second chance because people make mistakes. This is exactly what gets women like Maria Shriver into trouble.

When big-hearted women remove their dual thinking and silence the automatic interpretations, they end up seeing what is being shown, and free themselves from bad guy logic and reasoning, but turning someone away and giving up on them is one of the hardest things for big hearted women to do. Maria Shriver, and all women like her, are much better at giving chances and believing in potential, and the possibility for change~and what great qualities to have, providing they are not being used against you. Big hearts offer forgiveness more easily than the rest of us, and bad men seize the opportunities to play on compassionate nature.

No more chances; he is who he is. It’s time to become boundary bitches and shut down abusive men and toxic relationships, guilt free. I hope Maria Shriver is able to resist the Schwarzenegger charms and keep her responses in check, but some reports claim she is already considering letting him back. We need Shriver to set a new example for how matters like this are handled by women; heres to hoping she can remain strong and pull it off.