Wow, what a punch in the stomach. You were just dumped. It can be a shock, even if all the signs were there. Now comes the hard part, what to do next? If you've just said 'my boyfriend left me, what should I do now?" the answer might not be what you expected!
As humans it is our nature, unfortunately, to want what we can't have. If your boyfriend just left you then your natural inclination is to want to get him back. Many times women in this situation will fight tooth and nail to get their guy back.
This is the point where you have to stop, take a deep breath and think. Don't just react, think. What do you want? Is the relationship worth saving? Being completely, brutally honest with yourself is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but it's also one of the most important.
The honest answer to that question will determine what you do next. If you can honestly say that yes, overall, it was a good, respectful, loving relationship and I want him back than first of all why he dumped you in the first place. And most likely it's not you. It's him. He's perhaps having so much on his plate and feeling pressure to move the relationship forward. Or he's just not as ready for the responsibility and expectations of a relationship as he first thought.
Unreadiness is real. Some people realize it, some don't until they are thrown in the "battle field." I know now that I wasn't ready to be in a committed relationship -let alone marriage- when I met my ex. I was on a rebound but I was driven by an agenda to start a family as soon as I could. I loved him, I wanted him and was attracted to him, yet I wanted and needed my freedom and single life benefits too having just come out of a 9 year relationship with a beta man.
He's probably just not at the right place and the right time for you. So don't beat yourself up.
I know you just find it hard to let him go at this stage when your wound is still wet. You shouldn't smother him though. Believe it or not one of the best ways to get him back is to give him space. Don't scare him off by being a clingy, pathetic, needy woman. Remind him of the vibrant, fun loving and sexy women he fell in love with.
Go out with friends. Do the activities that bring you pleasure. This can be tough to do if you're dealing with a broken heart but it's very important. You don't want to wallow in your grief. Not only will this make you unattractive to him but it will make it harder to bounce back and start living your life again if the two of you don't get back together.
It's time for reflection as well. What was your role in the breakup? What kind of unhealthy patterns have you contributed to the relationship that it imploded? You are 100% responsible for the failure of your relationship and it's good news. You know why? It then means that you have the power to turn it around and make your future relationship(s) the ones that are great.
A lot of times, relationship implodes because of two masculine energies collide. If you assume too much of masculine role of leaning forward: directing, rowing the boat, cajoling, pleading, fixing, controlling, then you need an feminine energy man as your match. Masculine energy guys won't put up with that.
If that's the case, learn how to cultivate your feminine energy; how to become a feminine goddess that makes your man adore and cherish you and don't want to be apart from you.
If you decide that the relationship had run it's course and/or wasn't very respectful or fulfilling in the first place then really all you need to do is pack up his stuff and tell one of his friends, you don't even have to talk directly to your ex, to tell him to come and pick it up. Done. Time to move on to something better!
Just remember that if the words "my boyfriend left me" have recently come out of your mouth you do have options. Take the time you need to decide what's best for you. Once you've made that decision the path will be much easier to see.
This is the help you need to deal with breakup and how to get you on the path of reconciling with your beloved that has helped many of my clients:
This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/katarina.phang for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.
Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She founded a free ex-back support group and relationship forum http://gettheloveyoudeserve.info.