My Husband Argues With Me about Everything: Husband Challenges Everything I Say

Whenever I think about how to stop marital arguments, my old office mate comes to mind. She was usually a happy and free spirited person but when it came to her marriage life, she became sad and unreasonable.

Every time I saw her she would always talk about:

How her husband would make her day miserable.

How hard it is for her to make her day as lively as ever.

The fact that arguments at home don't stop make her a less happy soul.

She explained to me some reasons why arguments became a household vocabulary.

Her husband went out of the house early and came home late night.

He prioritizes meeting his friends even on a Sunday, their family day.

He forget about special occasions like anniversaries, birthdays and other events in their marriage life.

He didn't come on time.

He eats like a horse. (Okay, I am exaggerating here).

What I learned from her is that one of the biggest reasons of arguments is that husbands tend to do things that the wife feels are not helpful for the family.

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This causes the wife to think, "How can a married man do these activities of a bachelor? If you are married you should act like a married man too. Married man stays at home on a family day, remembers special occasions if not all and celebrates the success of the family together. You are not there to meet up with your friends and celebrate with them." Eventually that can cause family feud between you and your wife.

When a partner cannot keep up with his promises and responsibilities as a married person that is when arguments can start. Your partner will definitely make a big fuss out of this. She can let go on the first few tries but don't exaggerate it, it is not funny anymore. Be a man enough for your wife and family. They need you to be with them when it is family time. You have to be a visible parent to them. Let them feel that you love and appreciate them, that you exist too. It is okay to skip and do things like these once in a while. But doing it very often is a big "No-No".

Being married is not all about you and I. It is about us and ours. Arguments can come along anytime, maybe because of some hormonal imbalance for women or stress that's coming from work and the world around us.

Continuous arguments are never healthy. If this is your case, it is just but wise that you and your partner will sit down and discuss this. You cannot just let this as a common scenario at home. You will never know where it leads you in the future if you will let it happen. A good vacation or surprise dinner won't hurt at all. Create some spice in your life sometimes that can start a good atmosphere in a relationship too.

It is almost 5pm, why don't you go home and prepare a luscious dinner at home. Your wife will be very happy and surprised to see you preparing dinner for the family. This is one way to start a good air in your home. Some great things can be even discussed after dinner.

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When your marriage is falling apart nothing in your world feels right. If your spouse has approached you with their desire to either separate or divorce it's difficult to think about anything but that. Even though most marriages go through rough patches from time-to-time some hit a point where one partner feels the only solution is to end the relationship. If you are in this position and a divorce isn't what you want, there are things you can do to help mend your marriage.

It's incredibly important, when your marriage is falling apart, that you respect the wishes of your partner. If they ask you for a separation, don't automatically refuse to even consider it. If you do this it makes them feel trapped and only adds to their belief that they are doing the right thing by leaving you. Instead agree to discuss the possibility and if it turns out that they are determined to separate, agree to it. It seems that agreeing to time apart is counterproductive to saving your marriage, but it can be instrumental in helping change your spouse's mind. Sometimes some distance is what is needed to remind someone of how much they truly adore their spouse. Let them go. You can still work on the marriage even if you aren't living together.

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Don't point fingers when your marriage is falling apart. Placing all the blame on your spouse will only cause them to feel hurt and resentful. In almost every case, marriages fall apart because of the actions of both partners. If you can recognize what you did wrong you need to apologize to your spouse. Also listen to them if they want to right whatever wrongs they have done. An important step in saving a marriage is forgiving your partner and leaving the past in the past. Although this isn't always easy, it's necessary if you want to rebuild your relationship.

Keeping secrets is never a good thing in a serious relationship and this is especially true when your marriage is falling apart. If there are issues that you feel your spouse should know about, now is the time to share. If you want to save your marriage you have to do so with a clean slate. This means both you and your spouse must share everything and keep on sharing everything if you hope to make your marriage stronger and save it from a divorce.

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I want this article to be practical in value, so I don't want to bore you with the stories of all what I have been through, but to be able to make my points, I will need to pass my story onto you. Don't worry - it'll be as quick as you blink, and I think you can relate to my story.

My marriage had started spectacularly, as every marriage does; with a great ceremony and a dream-like honeymoon. But over time, as realities settled in, I saw that my husband's interest in me was waning day by day. It went on like this, until it had completely disappeared. He simply wasn't interested in me anymore and a divorce was coming any time now. But I was determined to fight for my marriage.

I will skip what I did "wrong" and come to what I did "right".

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The first right step for me was to ask for some outside advice. The rest of the steps were merely doing what I was told to do - and it all worked perfectly. The first thing I had to do, I was told, that I should quit begging, crying, apologizing and things like that. And to do that, I was told to enter a "calm, relaxed" state of mind, away from the desperate, depressed state I was currently in. And it was very valuable advice. I'll open it a bit for you.

When you are desperate and feel that you "have to do something before it all goes away", it prevents you from seeing the real roots of the problems of your marriage, and it makes you look for a "quick fix" that will magically make everything better in your marriage. Such a fix doesn't exist. What does exist, is being able to look at everything from a much wider perspective, being able to see the real problems and being able to think of what you need to do in order to fix them.

This is why "calm down" is a simple, but very valuable kind of advice. If you are able to do this, you will quit the desperate state of mind and enter what I like to call the "marriage saving" state of mind, and it turns your chances completely.

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Life can be very unfair at times. One such situation is when your husband is planning to leave you. Such a situation though common these days, leaves most women desperate and traumatized. The worst part is that at times, it can be impossible to change or soften a hardened mind. The situation is more pathetic when your husband is planning to leave you for another woman.

But we cannot allow sadness or such mental traumas to run or ruin our lives forever. Similarly, you have to pick yourself up and deal with the situation with as much grace and calmness as possible. Remember, no amount of tears, begging or pleading can help you to save your marriage. A decision like leaving a wife and home is usually not taken overnight.

So how should you handle the situation when your husband is planning to leave you? If you are still in love with your husband and fondly wish that he changed hi mind at the last moment or sometime soon, you could following these tips:

o Remain calm. Instead of shouting abuses or throwing tantrums (which he is expecting you to do) agree to the split. Say that you agree to his decision and think that the separation might be good for the relationship.

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o Do not try to do any emotional blackmailing at this stage. This includes citing 'props' like kids, finances, and family issues etc, as reasons for staying back. These are useless attempts for reviving the situation when your husband is planning to leave you.

o When your husband is planning to leave you, start taking interest in yourself - your career and life in general. Keep your emotions to yourself. Be happy with whatever reasons he has given you for his decision to leave you.

o Try and bring him down to a conversation with you where you listen to whatever he has to say about you, the home, and the relationship.

o If you seriously think that there are scopes to improve your own attitudes and behaviors to save the marriage, go ahead and promise him these changes.

o Do not go overboard with your promises - as you might find the entire exercise of changing for your husband a very draining experience.

o Therefore when your husband is planning to leave you, think rationally, whether it is worth your while to hold him back for the sake of the marriage or is it genuine love and respect that you feel for him? This could also be your chance to move out of a loveless marriage.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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Author's Bio: 

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