My Non-Fight with Cancer

My Non-Fight with Cancer by Dave Abbott

There is nothing to fight after all. The cancer cells are weak cells anyway. They’re not healthy, powerful, strong, robust and overpowering cells. I am far more powerful than the cancer. I have cancer, the cancer does NOT have me.

I believe that we all come into this world with specific lessons to be learned. When we have a disease like cancer it is especially important to know and understand the lessons.

What are my lessons in having this cancer? (This cancer? I’ll get to that later in this article)

1). Choose life.
I was unconsciously choosing numbness, a kind of death.

2). Be worthy of my own love.
I felt unworthy of my own love and was far more comfortable in loving others.

3). Put myself first in my life.
I was putting my girlfriend first and my job second in my life.

4). Do what I Love.
I was doing a job I hated and detested.

5). Learn to love myself in my partner’s presence.
I was not loving myself in Louise’s presence.

6). Completely forgive myself and others I need to forgive.
I was hanging on to resentment and the need to punish myself and others.

7). The reward of patience is patience itself.
I was mostly impatient with my own life process and took the easy way rather than the well-earned way.

Today, I can comfortably say, I have learned all my lessons except for #7. I am still learning patience.

My story

In September 2014 I was diagnosed with having an inoperable brain tumor – a brainstem glioma, aggressive and terminal. I was given 3 to 12 months to live. Needless to say I was in shock.

I remember walking the corridors of Lions Gate Hospital in Vancouver, BC Canada, with a physiotherapist on each side of me, a wide belt wrapped around my waist and a physiotherapist hanging on to the belt. I was hanging on to a walker dragging my right foot.

The tumor is on the left side of the back of my skull affecting the right side of my body. I have lost some muscle mass in my right arm and leg. The tumor is also affecting my vision pathways meaning I experience sporadic double vision.

On Sunday July 31st, 2016 I walked 26 blocks. Unaided – no walker, no cane. Today, September 5th, 2016 I just finished my 18th round of oral chemotherapy – 5 consecutive days taking 3 pills before bed, 23 days off. The tumor has dissolved around 75% in total since the start of the chemotherapy.

For the first 6 months I had no side effects whatsoever from taking the oral chemotherapy. Then from the 7th month on I felt tired, and I’ve been tired ever since.

I have lost 54 pounds (not because of the cancer). I used to weigh 223 pounds – I was officially obese, and my blood pressure was high – 180 over 100. I now weigh 169 pounds. Am normal weight for my height and my blood pressure is 124 over 82.

I used to snack, on either cookies, cake or chips every single night for over 30 years. I stopped doing that well over a year ago.

I eat organic food, take nutritional supplements every day, such as a probiotic, digestive enzymes, multi-vitamin and mineral and a supplement to enhance my immune system.

I also use a positive self esteem affirmation, saying it out loud in front of a mirror, every morning. “Miracles happen every day. I go within to dissolve the pattern that created this brain tumor and I now accept a divine healing. And so it is.” I do this 10 times.

Today I am an entrepreneur. Have 2 internet based businesses – www.selfesteemhelpnow.com and www.organicfoodhelpnow.com. I have done 15 years of personal growth work learning to raise my self esteem. I was also an organic vegetable farmer for 6 years.

I am writing 3 books. I am enjoying this process every second of every day!!

I know myself on a much deeper level and I am doing what I love doing!

Why am I not fighting this cancer?

I now believe that I have to surrender to the cancer. I don’t mean to give up and let the cancer take over!!! Well, what the hell do I mean then?

Accept the cancer. Include the cancer in my life. What are the lessons in having this cancer? It’s here for a reason, time to stop being and feeling like a victim and get my personal power back. I have cancer, the cancer does not have me. I am far more powerful than the cancer.

Dis-ease, means something is out of balance with my body and my life. I need to correct this and put things back into balance.

In accepting the cancer I am now taking the first step in taking responsibility for having cancer. The next step is change. Cancer demands change. What is out of balance in my life? Given that I am a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual being, in what areas are things out of whack? Is it my body, my level of self-care? Am I emotionally suppressed? Do I need to see a good counsellor? Do I need to change my mental outlook to a more positive one? Finally, am I paying attention to my spiritual self? Am I really listening to my higher self?

For more great info please visit my website at www.selfesteemhelpnow.com for many more ideas on raising self esteem. Also, please sign up for my newsletter. It’s all free information!

PS I still have changes to make.
Hope this helps.
With love, Dave