My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me: Why Don't I Like To Be Touched

You're stuck in a loveless marriage. You and your spouse live more like roommates or platonic friends than you do husband and wife. You long for the days when you two were so madly in love you couldn't think about anything but them. Although it may be challenging to recapture that degree of infatuation, you can certainly rediscover the emotional closeness and companionship in your relationship. If you aren't willing to even consider the idea of divorce, you need to change your marriage beginning today.

The first thing you should be doing if you're stuck in a loveless marriage is talk to your spouse. Chances are very good that the two of you rarely communicate in depth. Sure you may talk about everyday things like who is going to drive the kids where or when the credit card payment is due. You need to sit down and really talk about your relationship. You should have some ground rules going into a discussion like this. Consider whether it would be a good idea to agree on the idea of not interrupting one another or deciding that you'll both try and listen and absorb rather than reacting in anger.

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One of the main reasons why couples start to drift apart is they don't see each other as a priority anymore. It's understandable how this happens. With all the pressures in life it's easy to forget about what your partner needs from you. This ends up leaving behind it a trail of resentment and anger. You have to shift that if you hope to improve the marriage. Start focusing more of your time on your partner. Actually make time for them each day. That might mean working less hours or getting up earlier to share breakfast with them. You have to put in the effort to spend more time together if you want to rediscover the love that's been lost between you two.

Above all else try and focus more on the positives of your partner. It's easy to fall into the trap of only looking at what you don't like about them. Doing that won't help you to feel closer to them though it will only create more emotional distance. When you feel yourself concentrating on the things about your spouse that you find unappealing you need to change your train of thought. If you have to, make a list of what you love most about them. Doing this will dramatically change the dynamic between you two and will allow you to see them in a whole new and favorable light.

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More times than not, it has to do with the things we're doing rather than the things we're not doing that continue to stand in the way of saving your marriage. But, how do you know if you're doing anything wrong? Nobody's ever told you and the only way you eventually figure it out is by recognizing that what you're doing just isn't working. While that's fine to eventually recognize that you're doing things wrong, how much more are you willing to risk by doing all the wrong things and waiting to figure out if it's working or not? Not any longer I assume, so here are some reasons why you'll continue to struggle. Learn them and avoid them as much as you can.

One of the first things that stands in the way of saving your marriage is how you're handling and dealing with the news that your spouse would like to end the marriage. Although this news is and can be emotionally crippling for some if not all of us, it's very important and critical the way in which you handle it. Even though this news has made you feel all kinds of things on the inside, anger, hurt, confusion, panic, frustration just for starters, try to remain in control the best you can. Do not let these feelings dictate how you are handling and dealing with your daily life and your discussions about the marriage. Being in control will both help you to cope on the inside and serve your best interest in handling the steps you need to take to save your marriage.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

The next thing that can really hinder your efforts is being very pushy and head strong with your spouse during this time. Your natural reaction is to stay on top of this issue and dig up and out anything and everything you can from your spouse that will both help you to understand why they want to end the marriage and what you can do to save it. While it's important to find out these things of course, it's even more important at a time like this that you respect your spouses need for some space and time to sort this out as well. If all you continue to do is badger and dig at them about the marriage, you can actually drive them to leave sooner. There's a fine line here that should be carefully considered so that you're not just pushing your spouse away or driving more space between the both of you by being overbearing.

There are many other things that potentially stand in the way of saving your marriage. I've just touched on a couple of the most potentially damaging or hindering. There's no sense in making huge leaps of progress in your marriage, if it still bares the chance of falling back apart by not knowing all the things you should avoid doing in the process. While it's important to learn what is needed to save your marriage, including the steps to do so, it's equally important to learn all you can about what will keep you or stop you from saving it as well.

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There might be two reasons why a spouse wants to learn how to fix marriage problems. The first is the proactive case - maybe your marriage isn't in an immediate danger of divorce, but as in every marriage you have your problems and want to solve them. Is that so with you? If yes, then you should be commended for being a proactive spouse.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

But I feel that, as in most of the cases; this is not the case with you - you think your marriage faces a divorce. And if that is the case, I must say I feel for you as I have been in your shoes. In such a situation it is easy to be depressed and desperate enough to feel the immediate need to "do something" to save your marriage. But unfortunately, in such a depressive mood it's really hard to understand what you really need to do to save your marriage. I know this because I have lived this. Often times the desperation makes you go and apologize thousands of times, and then beg your partner. Of course this does nothing but worsen the situation even more.

So now it is clear that to stay away from begging and other desperate attempts that are so tempting when you are mad with desperation; you have to calm down and learn to ride down your emotions. You have to prevent them from overtaking your mind and making you do all the wrong things. I never made a progress in saving my marriage until I was taught to stay calm and be able to look at everything from a wider perspective.

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Was your marriage was once happy but now it is falling apart? Has your spouse, or you, recently exhibited strange symptoms - temper outbursts, seeming sad all the time, irritability, or difficulty concentrating? Before you give up, explore the possibility that one of you may be suffering fro depression.

If you do conclude that there is a possibility of depression then don't just sit around and "hope for the best". You have to do something about it before your marriage is completely in ruins.

There are four ways you can deal with mild depression. Dealing with it when it is mild will stop it from spiraling into something more serious. You marriage falling apart will only be one of your problems if that happens.

Step 1 - The Basics

Though it seems very basic, eating right is very important. So is getting enough sleep and exercise. Changes in these basic elements can cause the amount of serotonin and endorphins in our body to change. These are neurotransmitters that are responsible for our "feeling good".

A healthy diet that is full of complex carbohydrates and tryptophan (think turkey) raises our serotonin levels. When this happens we feel good. Exercise can increase these levels as well.

Exercise also increases endorphins which help us deal with pain. Something as simple as going for a daily walk can make a difference in your mood. You don't even have to join a gym.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Step 2 - Your Outlook

There is so much faulty thinking tied up with depression. Dealing with your outlook can make all the difference in the world. Dr. Aaron Back tells us there are several ways of thinking that depressed people deal with. They are:

*Mind reading

*All or nothing thinking

*Over generalizing

*Fortune telling

*Personalization

*Disqualifying the positive

*Mental filters

If you have a tendency to think like this then try to avoid it. Watch yourself and try to catch it when you do so you can turn it around. Being positive is such a simple thing but can have such profound results.

Step 3 - Natural Healing

You do need to stop destructive thinking and actions that will cause you to have problems, such as you marriage falling apart, but there are other things you can do also. St. John's Wort is a natural herb that can help you deal with mild depression. This is a great alternative for people who are hesitant to use antidepressants. It has the same effect as an antidepressant but is an herb. The side effects are almost nonexistent and most everyone can take it without problems.

Step 4 - Get Motivated

Staying motivated to do anything, even the things you like, can be hard if you are depressed. But you will need to do just that. Make yourself go out and do things even when you don't want to. If you wait until you are in the mood you never will be. But if you get started on something you enjoy it can put you in the mood. Help your marriage by helping yourself, or your spouse, by doing things you both enjoy. It could keep your marriage from falling apart.

Keep in mind if mild depression is not taken care of it can get worse. Severe depression is much worse to deal with than mild depression. Taking the above steps when mild symptoms appear can prevent things from getting worse.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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