It is my belief that as your Official Guide on Enlightenment, I should share some of my personal background and experiences so that you can get to know me and know where I stand. I've had a life full of suffering but if you are to truly know blessings, you need to go through suffering and triumph over it. I personally don't think you can overcome real crises without acquiring spirituality. If anyone wishes to contact me, please email me at email@example.com or call me at 561-735-7958
Trips to my mother’s womb were accomplished by two separate techniques. One was psychotherapeutic utilizing Primal Therapy and the other came about during Past Life-Spirit World Hypnosis as I successfully connected to the soul of my deceased wife, Marcia. Both techniques brought up some commonalities and also some unusual surprises like an abortion attempt and my soul playing paddy cake with me when I was a fetus inside my mother's womb.
I met my second wife Marcia in May of 1981 when we were both forty and she encouraged me in my intention to enter Primal Therapy that August. I grew up in Toronto in a neurotic household and thought I had this wonderful happy life. The problem was that my body was always full of tension and I couldn’t smile. I also suffered from headaches since I was four years old and the headaches turned into migraines after I returned to Toronto from a PhD in Israel in 1969.
I define neurosis as not being the person that I was meant to be because I was seeking love and approval from a set of parents who were either not capable of giving it to me or had no interest in doing so. The Fifth Commandment in the Hebrew Bible Torah states, “Honor your mother and father so that you shall long endure on the land.” That I have faithfully done. My father passed in 1988 and my mother just last year at age ninety-one. The commandment doesn’t say you have to love your parents but I do because I have reached a spirituality within myself that has allowed me to forgive and move on with my life. I think the Fifth Commandment therefore means that you honor your parents by being the person you were meant to be by allowing the goodness in your heart to flow outward to others in your earthly life. If you do this, then God will ensure that you long endure on the Land whether it is in this life or in the future Messianic Age.
In elementary school and then high school I realized that I was blessed with intelligence and I thought that by being a good student as well as a goodie two shoes, my parents would love me. I guess they did in their own way but my mother was too occupied with herself to show an interest in me and my father was more tuned into sports than academics as he tried to relive his childhood. My parents didn’t realize that I was a sensitive repressed child that grew up in a household with fear. They never knew that it was them that I was afraid of and I never therefore expressed myself. There were the usual topics of conversation but there was nothing deep that was ever discussed. My parents saw life superficially and your appearance mattered more than the kind of person you were inside. They really never knew the person I was and became. It’s all very sad. At least my children know who I am because I became a writer in my golden years.
Just prior to meeting Marcia, I met a woman named Lucille at a house party. I had been separated six months from my first wife and a singles male friend of mine, Angelo, had invited me to a party on Eastern Long Island, New York. I had never met anyone like Lucille who could tell everything about me the moment we began speaking. When I asked her how this was possible, she uttered two words, “Primal Therapy.” Being an academic professor at Stony Brook University and a research scientist, I knew little about psychology and never heard of Primal Therapy. Lucille and I for a short time became romantically involved and one night while lying on my mattress in my summer cottage in Poquott, Long Island, I spontaneously spoke aloud the words, “My mother doesn’t love me.” Lucille tried to reassure me that my mother loved me but I knew and she knew that what I believed about my having great parents and having a great childhood wasn’t true. It was at that moment that I knew that I would follow Lucille’s advice and see her therapist, Tracee, in Manhattan and begin Primal Therapy.
Marcia came into New York with me a couple of times while I was undergoing my initial three week period with Tracee. It was during this period that I cried for the very first time at age forty. I continued with Tracee as a patient driving in or taking the train in from Long Island to Manhattan. Some sessions left me wanting but there were others that made me feel so good after I left Tracee. I began to remember specific incidents in childhood that brought of feelings of anger, rage, fear, panic, hurt and need. Each time I went back to these scenes, different feelings surfaced. Tracee was very skillful and gradually, very gradually, I was making the transition to becoming a feeling person who could really feel compassion and empathy for another person. It took years and when Tracee returned to California, I began conducting the therapy on my own. I am still doing this even to this day and I feel deeply such that I feel the hurt of the past and the needs I had at the time.
I would also have therapy sessions with Tracee over the phone and in one conversation, I went from a scene in my childhood to the womb swimming or floating in the amniotic sac. Tracee told me that I was happy in Florida with Marcia and because I was happy in my present life, I was able to deeply feel. It wasn’t long after that I was experiencing a multitude of these first line feelings in the womb. Somehow, I had regressed from my childhood directly into the womb but I had missed the feelings associated with being an infant. As a fetus you feel but you can’t express these feelings in words but they are there nevertheless. The same is true for being an infant although you can cry which is what I did in baby cries as the feelings came on. When you are in the womb, your body feels all the physical sensations such as being crushed with pain or gasping for breath as you try to make your way out of the birth canal and be born. You even feel yourself slithering out of the womb if you haven’t been drugged too much from your mother’s anesthesia.
The feelings can be so dramatic that your messages of fear and pain from your lower brain are never received by your higher brain. These messages are repressed; otherwise, you may have died because you could not handle the trauma. It’s only when you go back as an adult that you can handle the disastrous nature of the events. I have described in detail what transpired in my early books so I’ll be brief here and tell you about some surprises that I discovered through regressing in Primal Therapy. Like others who have regressed I felt the ether-chloroform anesthesia in the year 1941. I also had thirty separate choking smoking experiences in the womb during which my mother’s smoke inhaled from her cigarettes came directly into my lungs.
In several of the regressions, I found myself in the birth room. I remember the figures in the room, the doctor and nurses, staring at me. I wanted to shrivel up and die because that’s what I thought would happen to me before I came out of my mother’s womb. I know I felt very cold and to this day any draft can quickly transform into a cold. I remember being picked up by one of the nurses who wrapped me in a blanket. I remember being taken over to this female person [my mother] lying in bed and my mother sticking up her hand in front of her and saying, “Take that ugly baby away from me.” The infant brain is still developing and will not mature until about age eighteen but it is still complete anatomically and functionally even earlier as a fetal brain. So although I could only be dumbfounded at the time and repress my feelings in the surprise of the moment, I still internalized the words of my mother in my brain memory bank. It was only when I went back to the womb years later as an adult did I connect to the energy of that moment. There have been cases of fetuses hearing the words of their mother while in the womb and remembering them years later.
I visited Tracee for a week in California from Florida about ten years ago and when I came back, I went through months of feelings in the womb. I would literally be feeling all day. In one of these sessions I found myself in my mother’s womb with another baby. It is not uncommon to have a twin who by natural causes doesn’t survive past the first couple of months. My twin was intentionally murdered with no remorse. We both experienced the suction of an abortion and he (it might have been a she) went to his death. I was following my twin on my way to my death when I felt a powerful force pushing in the opposite direction that saved my life. It wasn’t the first time that God intervened in my life with his Divine miracles. I heard God’s Voice twice in 1982 in my Poquott cottage. Then at the beginning of 1999 and subsequently, I experienced more of God’s blessings and spiritual providence.
I never thought I would be regressing in time in 2011 but when Marcia died in March from liver cancer, I was desperate for a way to connect somehow with her. By June I was undergoing a past life-spirit world regression with a hypnotist and meeting up with Marcia’s soul in the spirit world.
Past Life-Spirit World Hypnotic Regression
I believed from past experiences that I could not be hypnotized or facilitated to self hypnotize myself. I was looking for a way to somehow reach Marcia after her death because she had made contact with me in various ways in our home, and as a butterfly after her death. You can read about past lives and the spirit world elsewhere, as in this article I wanted to focus on what happened when I regressed to the womb during the two sessions I had with Jules. I remember how nervous I was approaching Jules’ condo as he had told me that in twenty percent of the cases, the session fails. I thought for sure that I would be one of the failures because as I said I had never been hypnotized before.
I was lying on Jules’ recliner covered with a sheet because I am always cold due to my days in the womb and the fact that my body temperature runs a degree and a half or two below normal and I don’t generate enough heat in my body. Jules first explained the ground rules so to speak and said he would take notes of at least some of what I would say during the sessions. The most important principle he stressed was not to analyze or think about what I was seeing but only to report on what I was observing. This was particularly true when I regressed into a past life and then died in that past life and my soul traveled almost instantaneously to the spirit world in Heaven. It was in the spirit world that I met up with Marcia’s bodiless soul. Each session lasted four hours in total although only a small part of each session was devoted to the womb and the birth room.
Jules spent considerable time bringing me into a relaxed state. Then he directed me to the top of a staircase with sixty-nine steps, each step representing a year of my sixty-nine years of my age in descending order. After waking down fifty-seven steps, we paused on the twelfth step and I entered the house I lived in when I was twelve years old growing up in downtown Toronto. I remembered the house in vivid picturesque details and then we returned to the staircase and I traveled down to when I was seven years old. Now that I’m writing about it, I descended one of these elegant winding regal staircases. At seven I remembered my favorite meal of spaghetti and meatballs that my mother made every Sunday. She would make the meatballs small and would simmer them all day long in the sauce until my father, brother and I devoured them at dinner. I never felt full an could have easily eaten more but it all disappeared. I also remembered my father’s card games and the tenants in the house.
Now I’m on the fourth step and I’m four years old. I see myself squirming in bed suffering from the pain of the headaches. Then onto being a baby when my mother is playing with my penis. Then wham! I seem to be floating like I’m dead and then I am seeing pictures of a fetus. I am rocking back and forth and then I speak loudly, “I hear it.” Jules asks, “Hear what?” “I hear my mother’s heartbeat.” That never happened when I was in the womb during my many Primal Therapy sessions. All of a sudden, I’m being propelled toward my twin during the abortion I discussed previously. I feel that force again preventing me from being sucked away with my twin. The scene switches to the birth room where I am born and I feel wrinkled and ugly. My body feels disjointed and twisted and a light above me is blinding my eyes. I’m picked up by someone who wraps me in a blanket and then brings me over to a woman lying in a bed. Again I hear those awful words as my mother’s hand goes up to stop the nurse, “Get that ugly baby away from me.” I heard these same words during my Primal Therapy sessions. At that point, I seem to be flying and a man in a funny outfit reaches down for me. I then flip into my first past life and then die and proceed onto the spirit world which you can read about in our book.
In the second four hour hypnosis session, there were some real surprises that were not experienced in Primal Therapy. Jules puts me through relaxation once again and then the staircase and I find myself floating as if I’m dead. Then wow as I’m looking with my eyes open, I see a man who is wearing a white fluffy shirt like a tuxedo shirt. I feel ugly and am suffering with pain. I hear him say, “You’re supposed to suffer.” I wonder why? He then says, “it’s your mission.” I think. What mission? He seems to read my thoughts and says, “ You’ll see. I’m your soul Sagittarius.” All of a sudden, to my surprise, we begin to use our hands to play patty-cake inside my mother’s womb. He twirls me round and round. It’s so much fun and we are kind of dancing like in a polka. I feel a kiss and he tells me, “Don’t worry, it will be okay.” He puts his hand on my cheek and repeats his words. He warns me, “We are going on a ride and it will be very difficult and we will move very fast.” I’m shaking and bouncing and being crushed on all sides. I feel pain in my neck and shoulders. I feel my head being compressed and someone is pulling at my arms, pulling me out as I’m squirming to get free of the womb. Then I come into the light and I hear the words, “We made it.” I’m born.
I fall asleep and am dreaming about an angel. She has a white porcelain sweet face. She’s pretty but she is not beautiful. I can see her perfectly right now. She is waving her hand like a magic wand, and I feel a protective light surrounding me. I feel warm under a blanket although my back still feels cold coming from a cold womb. I’m trying to calm down. All of a sudden I found myself in a second past life where I’m George Washington. The session continues and after George Washington dies, his soul rises and I find myself in Heaven with Marcia.
My name is Jerry J. Pollock and I am retired Professor Emeritus from Stony Brook University, where for thirty years I was an academic and research scientist publishing seventy-five scientific articles including seven patents. I have bachelors and masters degrees in Pharmacy from the University of Toronto, a PhD in Biophysics in 1969 from the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel, and postdoctoral training in Microbiology from New York University Medical Center. Because of God intervening in my life with His miracles, I have an unshakable faith and belief in Him and I infuse my writing of my fiction and non-fiction books as well as my stage plays with both science and spirituality in a way that is done by no one else on the planet. In Putting God Into Einstein's Equations: Energy of the Soul, I wrote from our earthly world and my wife Marcia's soul suggested and confirmed from the spirit world. Please either visit Amazon to peruse the paperback and kindle versions with book reviews and a video trailer or click on my website at http://www.jerrypollock.com May the Shechinah or Divine Presence be with you.