When others disagree with something we said or did, we usually begin a conversation with them about what we did and why. Most times, the conversation turns into an argument. Most times, we always want to win the argument. Most times, no one really wins in an argument because both parties want to be right.
We really need to think about what we are arguing about and why we are arguing. We really need to determine if it is so important to try to convince that other person we are right and that we did the right thing. We may not able to ever convince them because they have their own beliefs from their own experiences and their own backgrounds. We may never win.
If we know when we begin to argue we are not going to win or even if we are trying to win and don’t want to stop the argument until we do, we are just fighting a losing battle. When we argue, neither of us are winning. The only winning party in an argument is the devil. He likes to stir things up and get us upset with each other. He enjoys getting in the mix and causing trouble.
Philippians 2:14-15 “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.”
God wants us to stay away from arguing. He wants us to love one another. There is really no way we can love one another and argue as well. When we want to get our point across and can’t seem to explain things calmly to another person, we need to pray. We need to ask God to help us communicate to the other person as He wants us to. We need to ask Him for the right words to say.
Before we begin to argue, we need to remain silent. We need to search for the right things to say and keep our mouths shut until God is ready for us to speak. Many things work out without us even having to utter a single word. It is not important that we be right and attempt to correct others. It is more important that we set the example and stay away from arguments.
Instead of arguing, we need to decide to work things out calmly ahead of time. We need to tell others that we want to come to some agreement about the situation without the conversation getting out of hand and one of us getting hurt emotionally or physically. We need to plan beforehand not to get upset or lose control and ask God to help keep us calm until we can resolve the situation.
When we allow God to help us communicate with others His way rather than trying to win arguments, we can learn to compose ourselves in many stressful situations. When we can maintain our composure we can wait for God to give us His words and actions so we can show others Jesus is truly working through us. When we choose our battles and not be so ready to argue, we will begin to build trust with others and make a difference.
Frances Lucas has lived in the Birmingham, Alabama area for the past 40 years. She is a firm believer in leading by example and what she shares comes from her experience in life having to set her own goals and make things happen in her life…not depending on anyone else. She can help you, your team members and your employees to realize their purpose in life, learn their strengths and begin to develop their strengths.
She attended Corporate Coach University where she obtained an Advanced Certified Corporate Coach degree. Frances also has a bachelor‘s degree in Business Management and a masters in Human Resources. She has facilitated classes for large and small groups, created and organized self-improvement and employee development programs, classes, and work books. She enjoys coaching others one-on-one or in groups. Frances is a professional discipleship coach certified through Blueprint for Life Institute and is dedicating her life to helping others find their God-given purpose in life.
She has found her passion in life and wants to share her passion by helping others find theirs!
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