I was ecstatic when we moved into our home fifteen years ago. Leaving behind a congested suburb for a more rural area abundant with wildlife was a dream-come-true for me. I’ve always felt a special connection with nature and to be living among her finest was heaven! Herds of deer, magnificent black bears, red foxes – all were regular visitors to my backyard. And for an amateur photographer, what could be more convenient than to have my subjects come to me?
A few short months after settling in, I was out for my daily power walk early one warm Saturday morning. About two miles from my house is a gorgeous golf course with a large field of tall grass at the southern end. From the road, I noticed something moving. Upon closer investigation, I saw two huge brown eyes and giant ears peering up from the grass. It was a brand new baby deer! I glanced around for the mother - she was no where in sight. I felt a rush of anxiety as I feared for the fawn’s life. I ran home and, together with my husband, grabbed some blankets, jumped into the car and raced back to the field. I scooped the little guy up in my arms and brought him home. My neighbor, Joe, had a petting zoo so I called him for guidance. “You should have left him alone. His mother was nearby keeping a watchful eye over him. That’s what deer do. Hurry and put him back.”
I felt sick to my stomach. Did I just sentence this little guy to death? Was his mama gone by now? What have I done, I asked myself? I carefully placed him in the exact spot where I found him and glanced around for his mama but she was nowhere to be found. By now, he was strong enough to stand and immediately ran off into the wooded area.
We all have good intentions but how often do we try to force something to happen that perhaps is just not meant to be? Many years ago, I put myself in the middle of a family members’ dispute. A rift between several loved ones caused me great distress as I watched them argue over a trivial misunderstanding. A well-intentioned intervention on my part only made matters worse. I felt horrible! I only wanted to help. I sheepishly admitted to my misguided efforts in an attempt to right and even bigger wrong but it was too late. An apology was unable to undo the damage I had just caused. I had to let it go. In time, the affected parties worked things out in their own way. They were fully capable and certainly didn’t need any help from me.
Misguided intentions usually arise from fear and/or ego. I don’t trust that the situation at hand will work itself out or that those involved are qualified to resolve the issue on their own. Ego tells me I am the more competent party needed to solve this problem. My own anxiety over the current circumstances outweighs the needs of those involved to perhaps allow things to remain status quo. I need to have faith that what is meant to happen will but only when all necessary conditions are in place.
Sometimes intervention is necessary and sometimes not. It is not always up to me to say how things should be. Allow things to unfold naturally. What is meant to occur will - in its own time and way.
Janet Pfeiffer, internationally known speaker and award-winning author, is one of todays most highly sought after seminar leaders.
As a leading authority in the field of anger management and conflict resolution, Janet serves as a consultant to such companies as the U.S. Army, U.S. Postal Service, AT&T, Hoffman-LaRoche, Rutgers University, Carnival Cruise Lines, United Way, YWCA, New Jersey Education Association, Care-One, Insurance Restoration Specialists, Learning Annex, William Paterson University, Catholic Community Services, Passaic County Community College, American Business Academy, Bergen County Police and Fire Academy, Cook’s College, Kean University, Rotary, Ocean County College, Kiwanis and more.
Janet received her N.J. State Certification in Domestic Violence and is a consultant and instructor at a battered women’s shelter.
Janet has spoken at the United Nations, Notre Dame University (for the NACSDC National Conference), has served as committee member and keynote speaker for the YWCA National Week Without Violence Campaign, and is a member of the National Police Suicide Foundation and past board member for the World Addiction Foundation.
She is a former columnist for the Daily Record and hosted her own cable TV and radio shows. Janet has also been a contributing writer to Woman’s World Magazine, Living Solo Magazine, Prime Woman Magazine and N.J. Family. She has recently appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Huffington Post, Fusion, Alaska Business Monthly and more than 50 other publications.
As an inspirational speaker and private consultant, Janet is a frequent guest on radio and TV and has appeared on CNN, ABC News, The 700 Club, Lifetime, NBC News, Fox, CBS News, The Harvest Show, TruTV, Celebration and more than 100 top radio stations. She appears as a regular guest on WGUN Radio (Relationship Thursdays with DJ Kay and Janet Pfeiffer) and is a regular guest on Ebru Today. She is also the host of her own radio show, Anger 9-1-1, on W4CY.com.
Janet runs “The Antidote to Anger Group” for court ordered offenders and those with issues of anger. Additionally, she is a member of EAPA, NJAWBO, ISBOG, MVP Seminars Speaker’s Bureau and Visions in Motion Speaker’s Bureau.
Janet's books include The Great Truth: Shattering Life’s Most Insidious Lies That Sabotage Your Happiness Along With the Revelation of Life’s Sole Purpose; The Secret Side of Anger (endorsed by NY Times best selling author, Dr. Bernie Siegel), 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol.3 (co -authored with Mark Victor Hanson of Chicken Soup For the Soul), The Seedling’s Journey, The Angel and The Gift, The Orchids of Gateway Lane , Jordan's Promise and Dying To Be Safe: Ultimate Solutions to Violence.
She has been nominated for many prestigious awards including the Russ Berrie "Make a Difference Award", 2010 NJ Governor’s Jefferson Award, and has been presented with SOS "Positive Life Force" and "AOH" awards.
She has achieved recognition as an award winning author, photographer, and race walker. (1994/1995 NJ Gold Medalist; 1994/1995 National Gold, Silver and Bronze Medalist in marathon competition), and is also listed in the "Who's Who in Authors".
In 2001, she founded "Reunion of Hearts", Reconciling and Reconnecting Estranged Families", the nation's first non-profit support group of its kind dedicated to the emotional healing and reuniting of estranged family members.
Janet is a graduate of Englewood Cliffs College (now part of St. Peter’s).