Outside the Bedroom - Why Breaking Up Is So Very Hard To Do

Life Outside the Bedroom - Couples As Emergent Morphogenic Fields

When I have counseled with couples in the past, I have noted that no matter how difficult, turbulent, or seemingly negative a relationship is, I see an absolute entanglement and interconnectedness in the couple. One woman said, "I am an Aries and he is a Scorpio! I don't know why we are attracted to each other. We seemingly can't stay happy, but we need each other somehow so much. And the longer we are together, the stronger the attraction and the more deeply entangled we become."

The philosophy behind this website, is that there are not "cursed combinations", but often, "challenging relationships" that are intended to bring the individuals in the relationship to a new and higher level. Sexual attraction and romantic involvement are much more complex and powerful than a simple biological "sex drive" or compatibility compelling each other into each others arms. The making of a couple - the coming together of two distinct individuals - has powerful psychological, emotional and spiritual implications. There is so much more going on with a couple outside of the bedroom!
"Entanglements of Mind"

Rupert Sheldrake, the British Biologist and Revolutionary Thinker, has developed theories on "morphic resonance", "morphic fields" and "emergent fields". He has studied animals and humans for years and has developed the concept that morphogenic fields (like magnetic fields and electromagnetic fields) are actually a part of reality and govern and affect so much of what we see and feel around us. From telepathy to learning, he has conducted studies showing that these fields appear to exist from the very small (birds and cats and dogs) to personal and social, to sun, planets and stars and the cosmos. There is much to explain and understand about this, but the point is that we are dealing with ways of being and communicating which are much more vast than the materialistic way we see ourselves.

How this affects astrology is not only exciting, but also theoretically fascinating as a way of explaining how astrology works, and how the soul, (a field in itself) is a product of the larger field of the solar system and thence, how those individuals relate to one another on earth. How we get our horoscope, as a product of the larger field and our souls interaction with it, begs for more thought and speculation.

The 78 potential combinations of sun signs truly create templates of growth, love and relationships. When we form couples, we bring the field of one and "entangle" it, and create what we call a couple, then what we call a family, and those small fields which we actually create and manufacture, then interrelate with the social groups and entities and fields all around us. These entanglements of mind are actually "new creations" that are fabricated as we live.
"Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do"

There are so many "heart break" love songs in the world that they out populate the world. It is almost that the entanglement that we do down here is so powerful and so normal that you would think that we would do it with less angst and less passion. But that is perhaps the key. The passion and angst may not only be from the pain of possibly or actually losing each other, but also from the pain of getting along. And, it is strenuous getting along, because we are not only watching our partner trying to get along with us, we are going through the change of becoming new. Humanity is in a state of evolution and development. It is always a new day, so the sun and the stars and the Beyond are asking, no, demanding that we continually engage, and continually grow. Transformation is the point, not just peaceful happiness. We are to be joyfully happy true, but the goal is continual growth and transformation., And we do it, inside these fields that we create as couples.

All of what we do as couples is fantastic and powerful and life changing. However, what we are considering here is not "paranormal, it is normal, and it is not supernatural, it is natural". When I heard Sheldrake saying this during one of his lectures, a "Eureka" hit my lips. As couples engaged in the act of making new fields that have never existed before, we need to bring less pain and anxiety to the challenge, and more hopeful willingness. Its not paranormal, its normal. It's not supernatural, its natural. Study your mate. Study yourself. See how the admixture is becoming and entanglement of goals, issues, plans, topics and journeys.

Kids - The Ultimate Demonstration of Our Entanglement

One woman recently told me: "Oh well, it's been hard and its been work, but its what we wanted, and its what we both keep on wanting. And there is this matter of three wonderful kids that are a pretty cool combination of us. It's all been worth it." So, as you contemplate how to make a certain astrological combination work, realize there is a big thing happening to you. If the relationship is more than casual, and it is a committed combination, you need to think about the demands upon both parties, what efforts are being made, the sincerity and depth of the love being shared, and realize the "kids" of your relationship, even if you don't have kids, are the results of your union, the happiness it brings to you and others, and the richness of the entanglement and how you are making a new thing together. When we talk about "getting along", we are not talking about love techniques, being pleasant and polite or not hurting each others feelings, we are talking about a truly creative act that we are soulfully engaged in every day. It makes you reverent and gleeful all at once, and shows us why relationships create such constant pressure.