Overcoming Challenges Despite the Evidence

A year ago this December, my then almost 14-year-old daughter boarded a plane and moved 12,000 miles away. As we said our good-byes at the airport, a feeling of excitement for this new adventure coupled with a deep void in my heart set the tone for what was to come in the New Year.

With her gone and living with her dad, I knew I was going to be left with a bit more freedom to explore what life could be like with one less kid to tend to. I was now left with two other younger daughters and the ability to shift my life in a way that would allow me to expand in business and in motherhood. What kind of mom would I become to my daughter who was now living so far away? Would I still be able to influence and impact her from afar? Given that her dad and I did not have the best communication tools to speak with each other, it all felt “out of my control.”

As the months went on and she began school and making friends, I felt a sense of ease. She was doing ok. She was no longer homesick. She could manage her life with her dad and grandma. I was also doing my own self-managing. After publishing my book – Letters to My Daughter: A Mother’s Journey of Healing and Transformation – in March of this year, I decided it was time to make, yet, another move and more changes. I decided by June that I was going to quit my job, which caused a rift in my relationship with my husband, while we were in the middle of having to find a place to move. Whenever I created change, I created a potential for killing the things I loved. There was never change that didn’t come with chaos, and I was always in the center of these changes. I created them. I sought them out. I would always have a deep burning and yearning in my soul for more, for different, for expansion. Change was never easy; never calm; never planned.

Eventually my husband supported my choice of quitting my job as he began to have a glimpse of the benefits of me working at home – cooked meals when he got home from work, kids no longer needed childcare, homework would be completed by the time he got home, no more rushing to get this or that done – and most importantly – he would have a happy wife who was now following her heart’s guidance. And so we packed and moved over the summer and thus began my journey of being an entrepreneur while developing my practice and fully embodying my gifts. The money became a little tight, and even though I did not regret my decision of quitting my job, at times desperation would set in and shake me to my core, making me doubt my abilities and my decisions.

I persevered. I stayed the course and the universe began to respond as I became more heart-centered; as I became more trusting; as I continued to say YES to the path ahead of me. It hasn’t always been easy to fully trust; to hear the guidance of my heart, especially when there was evidence, at least the ones I created, that I was destined to fail and destined to return to my old life. That I was destined to take on the crown of “nothing I do ever works.” I was being challenged by my Spirit to grow and expand and become unrecognizable to myself. And I have.

Which challenges are you facing now that are leaving you discouraged and ready to give up?

Here are some things you can do to ease the process and to support you in moving forward not matter the evidences –

• Breathe – breathing is one of simplest things in life, after all, you do it without even thinking about it, but a conscious breathing always helps you to center yourself. When you begin to feel overwhelmed, take a moment to take a break and consciously breathe. It will help slow your heart-rate and bring down stress.

• If you do not have one already, starting a spiritual practice – be it meditation, prayer, yoga, rituals – will help you get grounded and give you a feeling of connectedness to your source and to your own knowing – that which is true for you

• Find a community of people who support your vision –this was so essential for me on my journey and it still is. Having a community that I can go – be it friends, a coach, a Facebook group, a place of worship – to receive encouragement, a healing word, an acknowledgment when I’m beating myself down, support with a project has helped me beyond words and it’s probably what has kept me from giving up

• Create a road map – when you have a clear plan as to where you are going and WHY you’re going, it makes the journey less stressful and less confusing, in addition to being a great reason to keep moving forward. You can create a road map by using a vision board, a colored chart, writing in a journal, using Post-It Notes ™ on an easel board paper. You can get very creative with this process which will give you excitement to keep saying YES to your journey

• Love yourself through the process – it’s easy to begrudge and belittle ourselves when things are not working out the way we had intended. Give yourself some TLC by going back into the past and honoring and acknowledging all those things you have accomplished in your life that have allowed you to be where you are. It will give you faith and trust in yourself. And if by any chance, you can’t remember a single thing you did that turned out better than you have planned, that’s a time to reach out to your community, to those people who know your best when you have forgotten that you are more brilliant than you give yourself credit.

As for my daughter who moved away, well, that’s for another article. But I can say that while I’m over here doing my own growing and expanding, she’s down there doing the same, and regardless of the distance, we are still very much connected. Thank goodness for technology like Skype and Facebook that sure brings the world closer together!

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