As a coach, Iâm privileged to be part of a process where my clients create a new and exciting vision for their lives and take action towards it. The excitement is palpable as they connect with whatâs truly important to them. But often theyâll hit what I call, the âHow Hurdle.â âHow will I do that?â or âHow can I get myself from here to there?â The excitement starts to deflate as they focus on not knowing the clear answers to the âHowâ Hurdle.
Think of a hurdler, about to take off from the starting blocks. Looking up from their hurdler stance, the finish line is not even visible. What do they see? Nothing but a line of tall, solid ominous hurdles blocking their way to their goal.
Itâs the same for us in our lives. We want to get somewhere but we donât know âhowâ to get there. Many head for the dressing room before the race to the finish line even starts. Iâd like to share simple ways to overcome this phenomenon of the âHow Hurdleâ.
1. âHow?â isnât as important as âWhereâ and âWhy?â
Part of our mind likes to solve problems, so it will naturally prompt that âhowâ question. Asking âHowâ first is like putting the cart before the horse. Ghandi didnât ask himself how heâd get the British to leave India. Instead heâ¦ held steadfastly and articulately to his vision and then followed a course of action that revealed itself as he went along.
The more important and empowering questions to ask yourself are âWhere?â and âWhy?â. Where do you want to go? Why do you want to reach that new goal? Why is it important for you to learn how to solve that problem? The answers to the âwhereâ and âwhyâ will give you the motivation and energy to find the âhowâ as you take action.
2. Building a Big âWhyâ
If your âwhyâ is big enough, youâll figure out the how. You just hunker down and start doing whatever it takes to get the job done. If a family member required urgent medical treatment and you didnât know anything about the medical system or how it works, it wouldnât take long for you to take action, would it? Youâre motivated, so youâd ask a lot of questions of the doctor or others, go online to research, or pick up the yellow pages to look for support groups.
Connecting to your âwhyâ will commit you to action. Commitment is the key to knocking those âHow Hurdlesâ down. The âhowâ will appear once you make that commitment to your âwhyâ. In the words of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, âThe moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred .. unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.â
3. âI Donât Know Howâ as an Excuse
Have you ever used the phrase âI donât know howâ as an excuse for inaction? What would you say to a young child who said âI donât know howâ in the face of having to try something new? Youâd most likely let them know that itâs OK to make mistakes and learn from them.
But perhaps you really meant, âIâm not ready to move forwardâ or âMy goal isnât really clear or important enough to meâ. Itâs more empowering and accurate to be honest about it, especially with ourselves, than stand behind an excuse.
4. Nevermind the Naysayers
Have you ever decided to try something new, despite your own questions about how youâll succeed, and then the moment you share your new goal with someone they turn into a dream-stealer. Theyâll pepper you with questions like, âSo how exactly are you going to do that?â Unfortunately, some of those naysayers are people who are the closest to us. They have a great skill for putting more âHow Hurdlesâ up on the track.
Donât let the naysayers stop you! Take a moment to share your âwhyâ with them and how itâs going to look at feel for you to accomplish that goal. Invite them to support you by brainstorming how you could accomplish the goal. Share your commitment to doing whatever it will take to cross the finish line.
Success Strategist, coach and award-winning author, Carolyn B. Ellis, is the Founder of BrillianceMastery.com and ThrivePrinciples.com. Her Brilliance Mastery program supports women entrepreneurs to own their brilliance so the mission of their business can be communicated clearly, powerfully and profitably. For more information and to get a copy of her special report âThe 7 Secrets to Unlocking Your Brilliance as a Woman Entrepreneurâ, visit www.BrillianceMastery.com