Are you one of those individuals who is constantly focused on making others happy at the expense of yourself? Do you find that this pattern leaves you feeling drained, depleted, torn, indecisive, conflicted, and perpetually getting yourself into untenable situations where you only wind up disappointing others? Are you fed up with putting yourself last? If so then what you read here will completely change your life.
What is at the root of this obsessive “people pleasing” behaviour? Well, there is a feeling that by pleasing others the “pay off” will be the appreciation, love, and admiration that will come from those people. All of that is supposed to buoy up and support the people pleasing person’s self worth, self esteem, self image, self confidence, mood, enthusiasm for life, make them feel like they are loved, important, special, and worthy of being alive to name a few.
Without that externally generated input the person would feel extremely incapacitated emotionally to the point that they may feel empty, useless, bad, unworthy, sad, depressed, anxious, panicked, and so on.
Unfortunately, it is actually all of those negative feelings I just mentioned that actually drive the people pleasing behaviour in the first place. Underneath those feelings are negative memories stored in the person’s unconscious mind from early life that generate and support the feelings and the beliefs that they are unloved, unwanted, bad, useless, inadequate, unworthy and so on.
The only way to break this untenable behaviour pattern is to take it out at its root. By that I mean that one must effectively and permanently delete or erase the negative memories of having been unloved, neglected, abused, abandoned etc. from the unconscious mind/body.
Is that even possible, you may ask. Absolutely!
There is a new coaching process that was developed over 10 years ago that uncovers and releases the unconscious anchoring beliefs that hold those negative memories into one’s mind/body or energy field.
An example of such an anchoring belief might be:
“My negative memory teaches me to avoid conflict so that I will feel safe, secure, peaceful, like everything is OK, content, at ease, allows me to relax and be myself, therefore allows me to create a fulfilling and successful life.”
When compared to what the actual impact the negative memory has on the person it becomes obvious that the above statement is false.
Such a “false” belief is usually buried unconsciously and it is only when it is made conscious that it dissolves in the light of truth and thereby incrementally releases the negative memory that it is anchoring. As it does the individual will experience the memory as more distant until it entirely disappears.
As it does the individual begins to spontaneously release the negative behaviours associated with the memory and begins to feel more in charge of themselves. This is truly an empowering experience.
To learn more about this new coaching process kindly visit the web site below where you can also request a free introductory telephone consultation that will begin to give you back your life.
Nick Arrizza MD, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is an International Life, Executive, Organizational Tele-Coach, Author of Esteem For The Self: Restoring the Divine Holographic Energy Field With The Mind Resonance Process® (MRP) and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).
A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone Consultation is available upon request. (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)
Email: drnick@telecoaching4u.com
Web Site: http://telecoaching4u.com
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