Persisting When Dating Get’s Tough

Persistence is an important part of success in all areas of life. Even in your love life. Especially when dating. If you don't persist when dating you will not be able to create the relationship you want. Simply because if you expect your first attempt to be absolutely perfect then you are not stacking the odds in your favor.
If you have the ability to persist in your dating life, especially when the going gets tough, then you will be able to achieve your dating goals. It's just a matter of time.
The Importance of Persistence When Dating
Imagine for a second that you see a man that you want in a bar and everything goes well. By the end of the night he gives you his number and tells you he is going to call you... and he doesn't. A week goes by and he never calls. What do you do?
One way you can approach this is: If he didn't call then he is probably not interested, so I'm just going to ignore him. And go back to the bar and find another man whom I like.
Another way is: He may be too shy to ask me out, or he may think that I don't want to go out with him. So I'm going to give him a call and see if he wants to do something.
Whatever you decide, having the ability to persist and move on is crucial. Do you see how, whatever you decide, if you have persistence, you will eventually create the relationship you want?
The alternative is just rolling over and playing dead.

Daunting Failure

The main reason why people don't persist is fear of failure. And when it comes to relationship issues, this fear is particularly strong and is associated with the fear of not being good enough to connect with others.
This fear can be daunting sometimes. And because connection is a basic human need, this fear is never going to go completely away (as long as connection is important to us, the fear of disconnection will always be a part of our lives).
This happens to everyone! (everyone except psychopaths that is...)
But the one thing you need to remember is that there is no success without failure. In order to succeed at anything, you are most probably going to have to fail at least a couple of times.
So, on one hand we know that we will always fear failure when it comes to social situations, and on the other hand we know that we must be able to fail and persist in order to succeed... So what do we do?

Dealing With Fear and Failure

The secret to being able to persist even when we fail several times and feel the fear of failure all along the way, is knowing how to deal with the fear of failure and with failure when they come. And they will come.
In my Dating System I teach my clients a two part formula for doing just that. And I want to share it with you here.
The two parts are:
Cultivating Awareness of Your Worthiness (Regardless of Circumstances).
Appreciating and Learning From Past Mistakes.

Cultivating Awareness of Your Worthiness (Regardless of Circumstances)

This step is about remembering that, no matter what happens, you are always worthy and deserving of love and belonging. And even if you are in a situation were you are being judged by others, their judgments of you don't change how worthy and deserving you are of love and belonging.
The way you get to the point of knowing you are worthy is by practicing your self talk in those situations when you feel judged.
One mantra I teach and use myself is: "Whatever happens today I am worthy deserving of love and belonging and nothing is going to change that." I repeat this mantra in situations where I feel like I'm going to be judged, or when I feel like I might make a fool of myself (for example, when I am about to approach a woman I find attractive).
This really helps reduce the fear of rejection to a manageable level. Now it's easy to go to the next step.

Appreciating and Learning From Past Mistakes

When you take a step forward towards your goals and fail, it's still a step forward, and you are closer to achieving your goals because of that step you took.
When we take the time to appreciate that because of this "failure" we are actually closer to achieving our goals (even if only by learning that we now know what doesn't work), we are more likely to not repeat our old mistakes.
Ask yourself:
What worked?
What didn't work?
What can I do differently next time?
What did I learn from this experience?
Asking yourself these questions will help you learn from the experience and use it as a major stepping stone towards your success.

Persistence is Key

Its important and even fundamental to never give up on your dating life. Always persist, even though it may be hard sometimes.
If you don't persist in your dating life, you wont be able to manifest the relationship you want.
The main reason we don't persist is because of fear of failure and disconnection. We need to learn how to deal with fear and failure. The main two ways we can do this is to cultivate awareness of our worthiness and having a strategy to learn from our mistakes. Then you will be able to persist even when persistence is hard.
If you want some help practicing these skills in the real world then you can contact me for a free 20 minute interview.
Persisting in the midst of fear and failure can feel like an impossible task, but for those who are willing to endure, success is the inevitable result.
Love, Grow & Share!
John S.