You can become self confident by doing three things. First, choose optimism. Believe in your heart of hearts that today will be better than yesterday, and that tomorrow will be better than today. Second, face your fears and act. Procrastination and inaction feed fear and rob you of self confidence. Action cures fear. Third, surround yourself with positive people. Don't let the naysayers into your life. Hang around with people who are positive about themselves, their careers and life in general.
The general idea of a book entitled The Luck Factor was that you can make your own luck by committing to taking personal responsibility for your career and life success. You do this by following five steps: 1) Decide you are in control. 2) Do something to show yourself you are in control. 3) Think through all of your options in a given situation. 4) Choose an option and act. If it doesn't work, choose another option. 5) Be adaptable. Change with the times.
I'd like to discuss how these five steps can help you build your self confidence.
First, self confident people feel that they are in control of their lives and careers. The sooner you make an active decision to choose control, the quicker you will start building your self confidence. It's difficult to feel confident when you feel out of control and a victim or fate, circumstances or other people.
Second, self confident people demonstrate their control of their life and career success by acting positively. They are willing to take risks because knowing that they are in control, they are confident that their actions and risks will work out for the best.
Third, self confident people aren't rash. They don't act impulsively. Instead they think through their options in any given situation. Then they choose the option that they think is most likely to result in success. They consider options that others suggest. Self confident people are secure in themselves to accept good ideas, no matter where they find them.
Fourth, self confident people act decisively. They are not afraid to choose an option and run with it. They know that the worst thing that can happen isn't all that bad. They will have to go back to the drawing board and choose another option. Self confident people act. They don't procrastinate or let the fear of making a poor choice paralyze them into inaction.
Fifth, self confident people are adaptable. They know that the world changes quickly and that they need to adjust in order to keep up. They don't hold on to old ways of behaving that have worked in the past once it becomes clear that those old behaviors are no longer working. They move confidently in new directions.
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people commit to taking personal responsibility for their lives and careers. They also exude self confidence. When you commit to taking personal responsibility for your life and career, you build your self confidence. It's a win/win. The more responsibility you take, the more your self confidence grows. When you commit to taking personal responsibility for your life and career, you act. And action builds self confidence, unlike inaction and procrastination which kill it. So commit to taking personal responsibility for your life and career. You'll not only put yourself in charge of your success, you'll build your self confidence in the process.
Bud Bilanich, The Common Sense Guy, is an executive coach, motivational speaker, author and blogger. He is the Official Executive Coaching Guide at SelfGrowth.com. He helps his executive coaching clients succeed by applying their common sense.
Dr. Bilanich is Harvard educated but has a no nonsense approach to his work that goes back to his roots in the steel country of Western Pennsylvania.
Bud is a cancer survivor and lives in Denver Colorado with his wife Cathy. He is a retired rugby player and an avid cyclist. He likes movies, live theatre and crime fiction.