Since the movie "The Secret" came out, the Law of Attraction has been receiving a lot of attention. Mostly what I hear is "The Law of Attraction doesn't work for me."

A simplified definition of The Law of Attraction (LOA) is: “We attract from the outside what we resonate with on the inside.” We are constantly creating our reality. This is quite a scary thought to some - this concept that we are personally attracting what is showing up in our lives. Scary or not, we are powerful beyond measure. If we have the power to attract poverty, we have the power to attract abundance. If we have the power to attract conflict, we have the power to attract peace. The secret behind "The Secret" is congruence.

How the LOA really works, contrary to the positive thinking movement, is that we attract what we believe (not necessarily what we think). If your head is thinking "I want a million dollars", but your gut believes "Rich people are selfish and greedy" your head and your gut are not congruent. If your head is thinking, "I really want to lose weight", but your gut believes "I won't be safe if I lose weight", your gut will win out in the long run. When we have yes/buts about what we want, the BUT wins out every time. Remember, a “but” always negates what comes before it. Yes/buts indicate our mind, body, and spirit are not in alignment.

The most powerful evidence that a yes/but exists is self sabotage. If you've ever lost weight only to gain it back and then some, you have a yes/but about being thin. If you have ever received a large sum of money and then lost it with nothing to show for it, you have a yes/but about prosperity (this is why most lottery winners are broke in a relatively short period of time). If you have been in a wildly happy relationship but you believe all men are pigs or all women are money grubbers, you will sabotage the relationship to be in alignment with your belief.

In order to use the LOA consciously and effectively, discovering your unconscious beliefs that are driving your reality is a must. One way of becoming conscious of your yes/buts is to state what you want out loud and then listen to your self-talk about why you can't, or it isn't safe to obtain it. Here are some examples:

I want to make more money BUT...
(Example: If I make too much money my family will reject me.)

I want to lose weight BUT...
(Example: I will get too much attention and I won’t feel safe.)

I want to improve my relationship BUT...
(Example: If I am honest about how I feel, he/she will leave me.)

I want to expand my business BUT...
(Example: I don't want to spend all my time working.)

I want to be in a relationship BUT...
(Example: I don’t want to be hurt again.)

I want a promotion BUT...
(Example: My coworkers will reject me.)

The next step is to apply EFT to collapse your limiting beliefs. An example set-up phrase would be, "Even though I believe being successful means having to work hard, and I don't want to work that hard, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

If you are not familiar with the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), this gentle, safe, and effective self-help tool, used correctly, can literally change your life. You can obtain a free instruction manual at www.emofree.com.

There are many nuances to using the LOA consciously and effectively. If you are ready to attract something particular in your life and can't wait to get started, I recommend consulting with a Certified EFT Practitioner who specializes in the Law of Attraction.

Author's Bio: 

Forrest Samnik, MSW, LCSW, EFT Cert-I is a psychotherapist and life coach with a private practice in Palm Harbor, Florida. For questions or comments call LifeWorks Counseling & Coaching at (727) 781-6567.