It is all too common to blame one's partner when a relationship is going through rocky times. Have you ever stopped however and reflected on whether you yourself are carrying some form of internal negative programming that is also contributing to the problem?
When a relationship fails it has been my experience that each person in it has made their own unique negative contribution. Yet the convenient tendency to blame the other often helps to deflect attention on one's own internal self sabotaging programming.
This is unfortunate because that programming which then remains unseen and unknown replays itself out again and again until it is finally acknowledged. The common outcome for an individual who finds themselves the victim of such mind control is lost energy, time, youthfulness, inspiration, and the ability to trust themselves or others.
The self sabotaging programming can take many forms such as: a tendency to be too needy or controlling, the tendency to maintain a pseudo-independent stance towards the partner that makes real emotional intimacy impossible or the tendency to regress into other childlike behaviors that subtly demand that the partner look after the person in question.
Such behaviors are essentially like computer based programs that govern how you are and behave in your relationship. What they are not however is a reflection of the real you.
So what is being said here is that you are essentially living a lie about who you really are. In other words you are unwittingly being duped into playing a role (or roles) that have nothing to do with the real you and which are in the end actually destructive to you (i.e. self destructive).
How can this be you ask?
Well it all arose when as a child you were expected, out of fear, to adopt roles that would allow you to fit into your environment in order to survive. You see children by the very nature of their biology are small, dependent and incapable beings whose first task is survival.
If they are allowed to survive in an environment that recognizes their unique and essential nature and supports its unfoldment then they are very fortunate. Most however are not and are forced to "forget" their true nature while adopting the roles expected of them. The roles however stifle and drown out their true nature and are thus self destructive.
What's more there is often a feeling of disgust with the true self that is accompanied with feelings of low self esteem, low self worth, low self confidence, feelings of not being good enough, shame etc. These all lead one to fear being exposed found out and/or rejected by their partner. Self sabotaging behaviors are supposed to prevent this from ever happening i.e. they undermine the relationship so that one can find an exit prior to losing face, so to speak.
The sad irony however is that the person in this scenario is living and feeling like a continual fraud and fugitive. This is absolutely unnecessary!
It is now possible to erase/extract this self sabotaging programming and its early roots stored within the unconscious mind/body as negative memories of the past.
If you would like to learn more about this process kindly visit the web site below where you can also request a free introductory consultation.
Nick Arrizza MD, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is an International Life, Executive, Organizational Tele-Coach, Author, Keynote Speaker, Trainer and Facilitator. He is also on Faculty at Akamai University in Hawaii. He is the CEO and Founder of Arrizza Performance Coaching Inc. and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).
A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone Consultation is available upon request. (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)
Web Site: http://telecoaching4u.com