Sex Education by Corynna Clarke
The act of bringing a child into creation is almost as significant as being human. You give of your self completely. Wanting to be fully present emotionally, providing for them materially and even physically when they fall down and skin a knee. You are also ‘there’ for them spiritually by introducing them to your understanding faith and what it means to you and how you practice your beliefs in day to day life. Ultimately, you are also their first teacher about sexuality. Whether you want to be or not.
It is imperative we begin treating children like the capable adults we want them to be. In a "civilized" culture, how ignorant is it to believe that by not educating our youth honestly about sex that they will ever have the tools to behave responsibly? Knowledge and information is power and my treating kids like mushrooms, keeping them in the dark and feeding them lots of bullshit is NOT the best decision. That plan didn’t work out so well for us, our parents or our granparents. Yet there is still a significant number of parents who believe it is somehow “holy” to operate this way. Yes it is holy infact it is literally full of holes.
If we allow our own sex-negative upbringing to run our lives unchecked, we are unconsciously choosing the messages we convey to our own children. Early on most children adopt some mixture of a fear/guilt/shame around sexuality. They compensate with tension and fear as they embark on their first self-pleasuring experience. Imprinted with these emotions, they are affected even as adults. Although mentally they know pleasure is not bad, yet because of these emotional blockages, it remains difficult to reclaim the potential that is naturally accessible.
So what now? Examine you own sexual issues. How are they manifesting in your life and in the lives of your children? Are you committed to transforming your own limitations and belief systems? If you have children, or plan to it is imperative that you seek guidance in order to break the chain of dysfunction. Our hang-ups are handed down from generation to generation unconsciously. The first step is being conscious of their existence and the next is to take responsibility and seek out a qualified professional or appropriate form of therapy.
Communicate with your children openly when they ask about sex. Be straight and you don't need to volunteer more than is appropriate but BE HONEST. Share openly when telling them the pros, cons and the responsibility that comes along with sexual contact. If you know you have unresolved issues call on God/Goddess or your angels in order for healing yourself and offering wisdom and strength when speaking to your children. Emphasizing the good feelings and WHY they are ‘good’ and also speak candidly about the negative things you or others you know have experienced and why is feels bad to you or people you know.
Educate, especially your younger children, on how to set boundaries and limits. Share about the alternatives to sex that can be energetically fulfilling without removing clothes or even being in the same room as another person. Teach them safe ways to start exploring like Pranayama or deep full breathing, sounding, singing, toning, chanting, dancing, exercising, yoga and meditative connection. Most importantly, let them know their own bodies are like divine sanctuaries and should always be treated with reverence. Just like a church or temple.
Be a positive role model. You don't need to be sexual while your children are watching. But show them the loving affection that you share with your partner. Don't let your own inhibition stop you from allowing them to hear your deep breaths and pleasurable sounds at night. Show them love is not a dark secret to be ashamed of but a part of life to be celebrated. If we do let sex and sexual energy remain a dangerous mystery, its darkness will be even more alluring to the naive seeker. Finally and ultimately the most critical is to talk to school boards, officials and any educational programs to which you have access. Get together with other conscious parents and demand classes that go beyond bodily functions and really deal with the psychological and emotional aspects of sex. My vision is that we can enlighten our children and empower them to make right choices.
All cultures and religions have some form of mystic sexual teachings. By embracing this worldview, we can teach them about the sacredness and significance of sexuality without excluding any religion or god. In our history, we have spent hundreds of years trying to keep minorities, women and social reformists down by attempting to hide knowledge from them. We now we see the great contribution and empowerment these very people add to our society. Our children are sages, for they lack all the limitations and misconceptions that we have for years adopted as the truth. To have that innocence and curiosity, it's us that should learning from them!
I have been teaching Tantra for over 20 years. I work with men, women and couples regarding relationship, sacred sexuality and intimacy. I have a pHd in Spiritual Counseling, Im a holistic health practitioner and have background in Tantric bodywork as well as sexual surrogacy. You can find out more about me at: www.Corynna.com