The formal sexless marriage definition states that for a marriage to be defined as sexless, lovemaking needs to occur 10 times or less a year. Is this definition at all useful?

If you have sex 11 times a year, does that make your marriage Okay? Most people would say no, that this isn’t what you would call a passion filled marriage and indeed, the formal definition of a sexless marriage isn’t that useful at all. So why do experts use it?

Well, with any definition, there has to be a set boundary and it usually does not reflect the reality. In this case, if sex happens 11 times a year, there’s a good chance that at least one of the partners, whether the wife or the husband finds it lacking.

Why is this such a major problem?

Sexless marriages have become a major problem because they’re widespread. According to survey conducted a few years ago 15-20% of couples in America live in sexless marriage (as defined). One can only imagine how many more live in a sense of rejection and dissatisfaction.

The key is that only you can determine for yourself whether your marriage lacks sex or not. No one can do it for you, including experts. And, only you can decide whether you want to do something to try and reignite the passion in your marriage.

Some people are perfectly content living in a marriage without sex. Others find it terrifying because it usually means some relationship issues which need to be dealt with.

Consult your feelings and see if this is something you feel that you can live with or want to change. Don’t live by any formal definition or social set of code. Lead your life as you see fit.

Author's Bio: 

Kate Dixon helps men and women cope with living in a sexless marriage and lends advice on how to fix it.

Her website is at and provides a free mini-course on the subject.