So You Want to Divorce. Sure, Why Not? Join The Club!
We know there is something big happening in our society, the very old and traditional bond agreement we call Marriage, is losing bedrock foothold it long held with stability.
At my children's elementary school class, close to sixty percent (60%) of parents are either divorced, separated or about to join the quot;club". This is not a coincidence, it is a literal "seismic" shift in the long-lasting establishment of - "I Do, Till Death Do Us Part".
I'm no stranger to this trend, a little over three years ago, my partner and I decided to end our marital relationship and co-parent our children to the best of our ability and I might add, with a positive mindset. It does sound strange but, some couples do make it out of the relationship in a relative calm manner. Don't get me wrong, we did have our share of "road-bumps" to overcome however, as I see it, there will always be challenges you will both have to handle, some will be for the both of you and some, for one.
Lets take a few steps back and begin with the concept of marriage. For thousands of years, marriage served as a bonding contract between a man and a woman (nowadays same sex marriage is acceptable and becoming a normal), for the purpose of building a family, establishing a home, continuation of culture and religion, survival of the human race, safeguarding bloodlines, preventing wars between countries and a few more. Today, on the other hand, most seek the love and the renowned fairy-tale idea of living "Happily ever after". Nothing wrong with that but, the catch is, that the traditional marriage agreement does not meet the growing demand of this new paradigm.
Let’s have a look at two more game changers, one, is our longer lifespan and second, the importance of women to choose their life path based on will and not traditional ideas and or belief systems, which sometimes are forced on. About three hundred (300) years ago the average lifespan was 40, nowadays its more than twice as long. living with one partner for over fifty years, assuming you postponed the common marriage age 18-23 to 27-33, is looking more out of reach. There are numerous reasons for why-yes and why-not but, the fact is, our prolonged lifespan in the last century, has contributed to the shift. Today, the woman's role in our society was and always will be important, but more critical today than ever before is the woman's choice to make her own personal decision, on how and what she wants to do in her life. Some choose to embark on a work career, it could be in the field of arts, business, sports, medical and many more. The options and opportunities keep growing by the day, and those who are the forerunners, open the doors to places which are rewarded by a woman's-touch.
I've seen couples marry for the wrong reasons (not uncommon) and some, for the right reasons but, in all cases, at least 50-60% of marital connections were undone. About twenty-five years ago, the likelihood of divorcing couples skipping the need for a Divorce Lawyers services, would be much less than today. Back in the eighties for example, when divorce was less common and still considered to be a very negative outcome, a Family Law Attorney would be an almost essential to your divorce case. Because the notion that the process of breaking a partnership can only be a negative one, set in motion for both husband and wife a war like mindset and mentality, as a result, the outcome was not always a pleasant one. Nowadays, more divorcing couples choose to end their relationship on a positive note. Perhaps the lesson's of the past have made an impact on present divorcees and or, we simply got wiser?
Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in Los Angeles can be an effective and valuable way to resolve situations associated with assets and or children. However, the key is to keep it civil and with the will to complete the transition with a win-win mentality. Parents who are wealthy will certainly Hire an Attorney, it is better for all and can help relieve most of the stress in dealing with all the paperwork. Lower income couples can in some cases finalize and file their divorce papers with minimal to no need of a Lawyer.
A few months after my previous partner and I decided to end our relationship, we came across a radio interview with Katherine Woodward Thomas, she spoke about a book she wrote "Conscious Uncoupling" and we were fascinated to learn that many of her points were exactly what we had already thought of. She went through many excellent pointers, advice and examples from her experiences. Simply spot-on. We purchased her full seminar and learned so much more.
Are you both going through challenges and feel your relationship is ending, Divorce? Sure, if all else failed. Most important is for you each to be happy and fulfilled in your life. Staying together for the reasons you are good, could ultimately be the wrong reasons. From a parent’s stand point I say, your children will benefit by seeing you happy and single, and not by seeing you married and miserable.
I find that writing becomes me and as I advance my skills, the profound and benevolent sense of satisfaction, increases ten-fold, when I learn of my audience gratification.
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