Perception determines who we are.
Perception is a choice that offers options of how we want to view the world. We can choose to see nothing but a dangerous and frightening world or nothing but a friendly and happy world – or something in between.
Whatever way we decide to perceive the world, we will automatically seek out and always find evidence to support our choice. If I decide that life is a struggle, life will do its best to prove me right. If I decide to view life as an exciting adventure, that’s what my life is.
A situation that I consider a big problem you might see as an exciting opportunity - and we will both be right! You might feel that traffic jams provide productive time to listen to some uplifting music or inspirational CDs and I might see them as frustrating, time-wasting nuisances – and we’re both right! So my perception of the traffic jam – or any situation – determines how I will experience it.
Perception is my instrument of understanding.
My perception enables me to find reasons to justify my perception. I see the world as dangerous and frightening because .... or I see the world as friendly and happy because ...
Our experience of failure, past or present, has a huge influence on how we actually understand the world and the template that influences our thinking and our decision-making. We can use this template to be Self-motivating or Self-defeating, challenging or inspiring.
It is very easy to use past failures as the main influences on present choices.
Recurring themes of failure are evident when the template of choice remains rooted in a thought system where failure, disappointment and frustration are the main influences. Letting go of the past is a primary step in determining a far more successful and fulfilling future.
If something you have used consistently doesn’t work, stop using it. If your past template for decision-making is keeping you in a limiting loop then stop using that template.
To apply this principle to a relationship of any nature we can look at the recurring theme of failure and then justify it by reasoning why the relationship didn’t succeed. We can always find a reason why the business meeting went wrong, why the sale didn’t happen, why the love affair ended.
It is never hard to find tags of failure to attach to any situation.
They are usually accompanied by the by-line ‘it was not my fault’. This is the common misperception that everything is outside our control and therefore not our fault; all reasoned by our acceptance of failure, based on the decision-making influences that are coming from our past.
I have often heard expressions such as ‘knowing my luck, it’ll go wrong’ or ‘if I had ducks, they’d drown’. This becomes an acceptance of ‘what can go wrong will go wrong’, rather than even an attempt to somehow change old patterns and find a new focus of Self-confidence.
There is no truth in this ‘it’s not my fault’ view because we are taking on board the aspect of acceptance without justification, which then becomes a substitute for failure.
And so we have a vicious cycle of uncorrected errors where nothing is learned and the only thing we take ownership of is the reason of doubt and the reason of Self-defeat.
Geoffrey J Canavan, Success Expert, business owner and author of 'Solved! The Truth about Real Success'