Tantra for Singles by Lara StewartL
Many people, if they’ve heard of Tantra at all, think that it is something for couples to do to enhance their sex lives. While that is something that tantric practices can do, that is just one part of what’s available.
Certified Tantra Therapist Corynna Clarke says, “Tantra can be practiced in a monogamous relationship, in polyamrous (or multiple relations) or even if you are celibate.”
Tantra goes beyond just sex; it is a meditative consciousness that makes us feel kinder and more connected to ourselves and to those we care about.
If you suffer from poor self-esteem, depression, or anxiety, Tantra could be something for you. The practice helps people with self-acceptance, which can make them more ready to be in a relationship with someone else. “If you show up in a relationship as an individual with a strong self-practice and good habits of self-care, then you will have more to give a potential partner. It’s the difference between being a person looking for their "other half" and arriving as a whole person looking to give and receive but not NEEDING anything to be complete.”
When you meet someone who you want to date, you can engage in Tantra practices from that first meeting. “Eye contact is one great way to deepen your connection with a person and show that you are fully present with them in the moment,” says Corynna.
And, it can definitely help you get your game up before you have someone specific you wish to play with. Singles can do a lot of practice on their own to make themselves more ready for an intimate relationship. Corynna says, "If the man hasn't practiced prolonging pleasure on his own, then he certainly won't be very successful when he adds a partner to the mix. And if a woman isnt familiar with her own body and comfortable discussing her likes and dislikes it will be difficult to guide her partner. Again meditation is key. If we can focus our own mind then we can more powerfully focus on a partner."
When we are trying something new, like Tantra, it’s not uncommon to feel silly and experience some sort of resistance. It can come out as scoffing, humor or anger. Corynna suggests, to get over your self-consciousness, “It always helps to get out of our heads. In this world we spend SO much time involved in mental pursuits (computers, GPS, cell phones, business, work, etc.). If we can just come together and align our breath, focusing on the physical, the feeling of air filling our lungs and slowly leaving, taking tension, worry, scoffing, anger with it as it goes. Feeling is so much more powerful than doing. This exercise alone can give us much needed reprieve for the outside world.”
Starting a relationship and wanting to get closer, but not ready to bring sex into the picture? There are still a lot of sexy intimacy activities on the menu. Corynna says, “Tantra is about enhancing your connection (both with yourself and with a partner). Aligned breathing (breathing together) is an excellent way to harmonize your energy with another. This can be done while spooning or cuddling with the woman behind the man. Reciprocal (when you breathe out they breath in and vice versa) is a way to build energy with a partner.”
Couples can also use Tantric practices to maintain intimacy. Corynna says, “Come together at least once a day for 5 minutes and breathe together. This can be done as simply cuddling together and clearing the mind, so only the breath and the rise and fall of each other's chests as we breathe together exists. Once a week, coming together for sacred spot healing and connecting without orgasm being the goal but rather, to share healing energy. Partners can alternate being the giver one week and receiver the next.”
Lara is a dating and relationship blogger for Planet Love Match. Previously, she wrote a sex advice column and a syndicated trivia column. She studied journalism at the University of South Florida http://www.corynna.com/