The Body Is A Container For Your Emotions (Is Your Container Leaking?)

Have you ever noticed a child on a playground fall down and skin their knee? Often times they will look up stunned, searching the scene for their parent or caretaker and only when their parent is within sight does the child begins to cry. A good parent will scoop up the child in their arms, allow them to cry, begin to soothe the child’s emotional fear by talking to the child, reframing their fear and then instill a belief that everything will be ok. The parent is a container for their child’s emotion. In most cases this is all the child needs and within minutes they are back playing with their friends.

As we develop into adolescence and further into adulthood we learn to contain our own emotions and rely less on others for validation. Some of us are better at it than others. That’s okay because it’s one of those areas in life we can always cultivate.

Many of us have worked to ensure we become more adept at dealing with our emotions. We read self-help books, attend workshops and surround our self with like-minded people.
Yet at the same time we overload ourselves with tasks, workloads, information and technology. This wears the body down and over time the ignored body is no longer proficient at holding our emotions.

So what are some ways we can honor the body, ensuring it continues to be an effective emotional container?

1. Sleep – science has indicated that lack of deep sleep is epidemic in our western society. Most people need 8 hours of sleep a night to refresh the body and process the day’s information. The average person is falling 2 to 3 hours short of this goal. If this is true for you, begin by increasing your sleep by half hour increments a week. Prepare for bed a half hour earlier; set the tone by shutting off technology and cultivating a space to enter into sleep. Not only will your body be a better container for your daily emotions, many emotions may be processed while sleeping.

2. Exercise – even if it’s walking 15 minutes after dinner. This doesn’t have to be an intense workout or yoga routine. Start where you are and build from there. If you did 10 minutes of exercise each weekday morning, focusing on a different body part you will have exercised 50 minutes a week and you’ll increase your health, body image and work out some stress.

3. Breathe - there is nothing easier. Much has been written on various breathing techniques; however, you can begin by simply counting your in-breath, holding for one second and then making your out-breath at least one second longer than your in-breath. Do this for 5 to 15 minutes a day and watch the stress melt away and feel your body relax and unwind.

4. Diet – are you feeding your emotional container what it needs, fresh vegetables and fruits, less processed foods, caffeine and alcohol? Again, you can start slow. Add a piece of fruit to your diet while cutting back on one caffeine drink a day. Stimulants and depressants will not allow the body to contain emotions effectively - for many reasons the least of which are serotonin levels that effect mood.

5. Contemplate and/or Meditate – spend some time contemplating a reading, journaling or meditating. This does not require hours sitting on a mat in a lotus position. It can be as little as 10 minutes in the morning, on lunch break or before bed. Sit quietly and let go.

In some ways this is your higher-self parenting the developing emotional-self, holding the wounded emotions soothingly in its arms. It is a stance of compassionate and loving-kindness directed toward self.

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements. He states “Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

John F Herberger, M.Ed.
InAwakening.com