Your core beliefs are those beliefs you created when you were a child based on your experiences and how you were treated and talked to. You had certain experiences and heard the same messages over and over again from family members, peers and others, and you formed certain core beliefs about yourself and how you fit in with the world of work.

Boys are taught to be a certain way. They are taught to be the opposite of girls. Boys learn that they need to be “more than” all the time. In fact, boys in junior high school and high school call each other names by saying someone is like a girl. If a boy appears feminine in any way, he’s denigrated by the other boys.

Which of These Do You Remember Hearing?

Consider these core beliefs that males hear most often that relate to who they should be:

• Being a star in athletics will make you popular, so find your sport and be the best.
• You have to make a lot of money and be rich to have status with other men.
• You need to have expensive possessions to be better than other men.
• You should be good at computers, math and science.
• You better be tough or the guys will think you’re a wimp. If you cry, they’ll call you a sissy.
• You need to have strong muscles, so lift those weight!
• You need to have a pretty girlfriend or wife so other men will envy you.
• You can work your way up, but being the boss is much better.
• You should never, ever, ever cry.
• You should not show any emotions, except anger.
• All males are supposed to be smarter and bigger than all females.
• You have to be right about everything, and you can’t show anyone that you’re ever wrong.
• Competition is everything, and you better be the winner! What is cooperation except on teams to compete?

It’s difficult growing up with all these beliefs that society has for boys! How can a boy grow into a man without all these limiting beliefs? By understanding that they’re myths, that they can be true only if you buy into them.

The Actions These Core Beliefs Lead To

What actions do these types of core beliefs lead to? For one thing, men generally have more confidence than women do. They have been taught they should be “more than,” so they push themselves to succeed, sometimes to the detriment of their health and/or family relationships. These core beliefs also limit men to go into professions for money rather than the enjoyment of the work.

Don’t let these core beliefs rule your life. You’re more than these societal beliefs. You’re a unique person who can make his own decisions how he wants to be.

Life is a process, and you can put behind you what was inaccurately told to you in the past. You can create a better life for yourself. You deserve it!

Author's Bio: 

Vivian Harte is the co-author of Self-Esteem for Dummies in the Dummies series. She has helped over 12,000 people learn and use assertiveness skills during the last 14 years. She teaches online classes on assertiveness, self-confidence, and teamwork. She has a Bachelors degree in Sociology and a Masters degree in Public Administration. She taught college classes for many years in Tucson, Arizona. She has two grown children who are both successful. She lives in Tucson with her husband, three dogs and two cats.

She offers kits with articles, guided visualizations, and songs as well as online courses, group coaching and 1-on-1 coaching, and you can find out more about these at her website, self-esteem-for-me.com. Discover how to change your thoughts into positive and uplifting self-talk in her free kit Change Your Inner Critic into Your Best Friend.