Attention all Dating with Dignity daters: The Friend Zone is not always a bad thing! We’ve all had a crush on a male friend at some point or another; maybe you even ended up in a relationship with one of these guys. However, like it or not, male friends are not always going to like you back in the same way you’re interested in them.
But wait! This can be a GREAT thing. “How can this possibly be a good thing?” you ask. Let us tell you four ways.
1. Bounce your current dating situation off an actual male, and you may actually get SOLID advice.
Let’s face it: Asking your lady friends can be a good idea sometimes. But in reality, women don’t always give the best advice to their friends. (Which is why a session with a professional dating coach can be the best decision you make this year.) But if you aren’t ready for that, start with a male friend who can actually give you the male perspective on what’s going on in your love life; often, it can be extremely insightful!
2. You might find the one guy who can fit in your friend zone, and then you can meet HIS friends.
Most heterosexual men I know aren’t really looking to get into a platonic relationship with a woman they actually find attractive and interesting. They usually want to at least get in their pants, and at most get into an awesome relationship. On the off chance that you meet one of the former who actually is interested in forming a friendship with a female (and you enjoy his company but aren’t interested in him), Get. Him. In. The. Friend. Zone. Not only did you just gain a new buddy, but he might have some guy friends you could be interested in!
3. The proof is in the pudding.
In a recent study recently of US males:
- 84% say it’s possible to have a “just friends” relationship with a girl.
- 83% say it’s possible for a girl to switch from someone they just want to be friends with, to a romantic interest, and back to just wanting to be friends.
- 43% say if they have a girlfriend already, it’s easier for them to have platonic girl friends.
4. Things aren’t the same anymore.
“The belief that men and women can’t be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace, and the only way they could get together was for romance,” explained Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in Valley Stream, New York. “Now they work together and share sports interests and socialize together.” When Harry Met Sally basically set the potential for male/female platonic friendship back about 25 years. So we’re in a whole new era, Dignity Daters!
So, do you have a guy friend in your phone you haven’t talked to in a few weeks? Invite him on a platonic bowling date and get his opinion on your new guy. Met a new guy you like but don’t love, and he asked you out for beers? Take a chance and go. You never know where it might lead; he might become your new wingman!
Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). A certified Life Coach through the International Coaching Federation, Battista is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy Assessment—“The D-Factor”—which helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not "date-able" and what types of messages they unconsciously broadcast to men based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.